


Cool kids

by gleek_runner



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Bandom, Class (TV 2016), Glee, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anorexia, Based on an Echosmith song, Buddy appears and is adorable, But also nothing, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Highschool AU, Homophobic Language, M/M, Many characters and relationships but the tagged one are the main ones, Newt is a Dork, OR ARE THEY?!, Or Is It?, Overprotective Dan is a thing, Religious Themes, Ryan Ross is kind of a whore, Skye is the human version of tumblr, Someone might die here i'm just letting you know, The Author Regrets Everything, The writer breaks the fourth wall all the time, This is pure fluff, Thomas is kind of a dick, Thomas' friends are assholes, read to find out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2018-11-01 14:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 74,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleek_runner/pseuds/gleek_runner
Summary: ➳ Quinn Fabray has imaginary friends.➳ Brendon Urie is depressed.➳ Dan Howell smokes and drinks.➳ Skye Johnson is an insomniac.➳Charlie Smith is gay.➳Newt Whitman likes girly clothes.They all have some things in common, mostly the fact that they are outcasts. They stand out. They are your school's weirdos, the people that you know are different from you and you hate them for exactly that reason.





	1. Epigraph

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ellienerd14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/gifts).



> ➳ Quinn Fabray has imaginary friends.
> 
> ➳ Brendon Urie is depressed.
> 
> ➳ Dan Howell smokes and drinks.
> 
> ➳ Skye Johnson is an insomniac.
> 
> ➳Charlie Smith is gay.
> 
> ➳Newt Whitman likes girly clothes.
> 
> They all have some things in common, mostly the fact that they are outcasts. They stand out. They are your school's weirdos, the people that you know are different from you and you hate them. 
> 
> They will never be like the cools kids.
> 
> But why is that a bad thing?
> 
> ➳ Rachel Berry is head cheerleader but lives in the shadow of her brother's. She will never be as good as him so why trying?
> 
> ➳Ryan Ross likes everything that moves but never settles down. He doesn't want to let himself get attached to anyone because he fears that he's too screwed up for anyone to truly love.
> 
> ➳ Phil Lester is the a new kid. Back to his hometown, he had many friends and everyone loved him. This place is pretty much the same except one person who seems to hate Phil's gut. Phil can't have that.
> 
> ➳ Grant Ward is the best football player that has ever been to Coal Hill Academy. He's a golden boy but with an ego bigger than Brendon's forehead.
> 
> ➳Matteusz Andrzejewski is gay. He just chooses to ignore it for the sake of his Christian's parents. It all was going pretty well until they enrolled him into a different school.
> 
> ➳ Thomas Paige is a top student in WCKD Academy. Yet he's a party animal. If only, he could handle drinking.
> 
> We've reached a point where our society is jugding every little thing we do. But that's okay. It makes us stronger.
> 
> These kids could never be cool but they had each other and that was enough.

_I wish that I could be,_

_Like the cool kids cause,_

_All the cool kids,_

_They seem to fit in._

 

 

 

"God uses broken people like you and me, to rescue broken people like you and me. "


	2. Go make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At one point I honestly thought we'd be best friends forever. What a joke.

Brendon hated mornings more than words could ever describe. A rather strange fact to his eyes because he didn't love evenings either. Evenings were the part of his days when his mind and thoughts would be more clear and his on suffering would tear him apart. Nights would find him sleepless and alone in a relatively small bedroom consisting of a wooden desk, one window-a portal to the outside world-and one closet bigger than himself full of secrets. Obviously, nights weren't the best parts of his day.

Mornings weren't good either. More quiet, for sure, but not any better. The moment his eyes would open and he would become aware of his surroundings he would sink in his mattress. No matter the weather or how much the sun exactly shined, Brendon found himself not wanting to leave his bed. He was never able, even if he slept for twelve straight hours, to get enough rest for the next day. It was like having to perform daily, his life was a theater and the sunlight meant that the curtains were opening. Whereas late evenings were finally when he would take a bow and rest for tomorrow's show.

Speaking of shows, they weren't all that bad. Each day he repeated a mantra but there would also be one thing that would change and his monotonous and grey life would get a ray of color. Most days were like that, except one,he hated habits and feeling stuck. This was perhaps the one reason he hated his birthday. But Brendon also loved his birthday. Why? He was one year closer to dying.

"Brendon! Wake up, you sleeping beauty!"His birthday also meant that he had to put on an even better and longer show, the one where he's happy and excited for getting older and is very much thrilled about having a bunch of people he doesn't like over wishing him fake wishes. "We should throw water at him!"

"I'm up! I'm up!"he shouted quickly and jumped out of his bed. Ashley and Gerard both fell to the ground and began laughing their butts off. Meanwhile Sarah put a hand on her mouth to cover her giggle. Brendon liked his friends, he truly did, but they had no boundaries and he happened to not entirely love having them in his house without further notice.

"Happy birthday, man!"Gerard exclaimed as he got up and hugged him. Gerard Way was the first person Brendon considered a friend, he was the exact opposite of who Brendon truly was, a loud one he was. Brendon too appeared wild but in  reality and behind all the sarcasm, he preferred peace and quiet. Gerard did a lot of things that made Brendon uncomfortable like dying his hair this ridiculously red color and feeling the need to constantly socialize with others."You're slowly getting older. I swear I saw a white stripe on your hair."

"White is such a cool color though, it's weird but also fucking cool."Ashley mumbled to herself before throwing her hands on the air and pulling Brendon closer. Brendon pulled away her hair and hugged her back. Ashley, or Halsey as she liked to be called to emphasize her individuality, had already been friends with Gerard long before Brendon came to the picture. Mainly because she once had a night stand with Gerard's brother and woke up alone in their living room. They talked for a while and -much to Mikey's horror- they became friends."Happy birthday, Bread-bin Urine."

"At no point did I sign up for this treatment. Especially on my birthday."

"We got you a present though."Ashley argued and pointed at Sarah. Brendon couldn't help chuckling, he smiled and kissed his girlfriend's cheek. Yes, he actually had a girlfriend, a wonderful one who also happened to be his closest friend. This was mainly for keeping up with his persona but he also enjoyed Sarah's company. Sarah was a safe escape that yes, it did not provide him shelter just yet but he was positive it would in the future.

"We got you a real present too!"Sarah smiled warmly like she didn't have a care in the world. She handed him a green bag that she had hidden behind her back and Brendon smiled in return. He already knew it would he a shirt, it was funny in a way, these people were supposed to be his best friends and they always thought that the ideal present for Brendon was a shirt. He rarely went shopping anymore, he just awaited any holiday and his friends would provide him with a never ending amount of t-shirts.

"It's great."he replied as he unfolded the grey t-shirt"I love it."He really didn't but if his friends were happy with their accomplishment, he shouldn't ruin it. One sad realistic person was enough for a group, they surely did not need others. At that moment, as if the universe was pulling his leg,his family burst inside his room. His mum carried a cake inside while his dad and Mason-since Matt and Kara were working-sang the Birthday song. Another pointless tradition, Brendon never understood.

"Go on, Bren, make a wish."

If Brendon could have only one wish coming true, he would wish for him to disappear. Or maybe he would wish for a time machine to help him return in much more simpler days when he wasn't an ungrateful emotional wreck. But Time Travel had yet to be discovered so he was forced to remain in this timeline.

"What did you wish for?"Sarah asks with curiosity. Brendon feels the urge to lie and tell her that he wished for nothing, that everything he could ever desire he had but he just couldn't bring himself to tell such a big lie. Instead he just smiled and came up with a simple and easy to remember lie.

"Kyla. I wish I could see Kyla, you know? She's so busy and she rarely visits us anymore."the moment Brendon mentioned his sister, he saw his friends' smiles dropping. Sure, soon enough, they quickly reappeared and Sarah wiped a tiny tear escaping her eye. Brendon, mildly confused, turned to his parents who looked at him with happiness.

"Brendon, honey, do you really mean that?"Brendon just nodded unaware of why was this such a big deal."That's good because we did some research, there's an academy in London and it has one of the best track running teams we have seen--"

"So we enrolled you there for your last year. You'll be living with your sister for that time and if you don't find a university there, you can always return home."

Suddenly, realization struck him, they knew. That was why they looked at him like that and were so disappointed with his birthday wish. A wave of guilt filled him up but on the other hand, he was excited to go to London. Oh it had been so long since his last visit...

His mum smiled at his reaction and handed him a cardboard. Inside he found a bunch of stuff from his childhood, mostly toys and one ticket to London. Brendon laughed and sat back to his bed, the box still on his lap. He put his arm inside and pulled out a teddy bear."From when I was seven."

"Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected you having a stuffed animal."

"Give me a break, it was a present."

"Why does it have one green eye?"Gerard continued.

"It's an alien teddy."Brendon explained with a laugh remembering the inside joke. He continued going through the stuff in the box for the rest of the day and both Gerard and Ashley had agreed to help him packed. While Sarah had also offered to help eventually even though she was clearly hurt by Brendon's excitement.

Little did Brendon remember the photo album he had made when he was barely eleven. An album that held dear memories and feelings that would soon be resurface.


	3. My friends and I, we've got a lot of problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship at first sight, like love at first sight, is said to be the only truth.

Brendon loved Polaroids.

Or to be more exact, Kyla loved Polaroids and had passed down that love to her younger brother. When Brendon was only a baby, his sister had decided to make him an album full of memories and Polaroids. Sometimes when Brendon was feeling down-back when he was a child-he would go through all the photos and cheer himself up. However, after repeatedly moving away and after a lot of psychiatric sessions, he realized holding on to the past wasn't doing him any good. So he buried the memories and kept them locked for as long as he could.

Then the box returned to his life and because of life's cruel humor, Sarah just had to find it. The girl held the dusty red scrapbook close to her chest as both Gerard and Ashley stopped the packing to take a look at it. Brendon hadn't even realized they had opened it until it was too late.

"Brendon's book of adventures. That would be a great kids movie, we should call Disney."Gerard stated with a small chuckle at the end. Brendon's eyes widened in utter horror at the mention of it, he quickly sprinted towards them and sat next to Sarah.

"Don't look at that old thing! There might be a naked picture of me in there!"

"Even better!"Gerard shot back and start going through the old Polaroids. Sarah snatched the book from his hands and let out a squeal at the sight of a toddler Brendon. His forehead, surprisingly, was way bigger as a child.

"Hey! Look at small Beebo holding his alien teddy."Ashley added and pointed at a Polaroid at the top corner. Brendon had a huge smile on his face and held the teddy bear close to his chest while a blonde shorter boy was holding him from behind, an equal happy smile on his face."I can't believe you actually had friends before us. I'm surprised anyone could put up with you."

Brendon frowned and brought the scrapbook to his own lap. Of course he had friends before them, they were great friends too, sometimes he thought about them. Yet all times he missed them dearly and wondered what had happened to his childhood partners in crime. He laughed bitterly and looked at his friends."We were the amazing six. My first real friends and some of the greatest kids I knew."

"You were like seven, how can you know they haven't become serial killers?"Sarah joked.

"I guess I just do."he shrugged before pointing at the other boy in the photo"His name was Charlie. He was fascinated by aliens, said he would one day go to the moon. He didn't, obviously, and he knew it too but he still hoped." 

"Sounds fun."Sarah smiled and turned her attention to another Polaroid. This one was way more eye capturing than the others, Brendon laid on the floor looking at the camera with a smug while the other boy-Charlie-sat on his knees extending his arms towards the ceiling. On top of Brendon's lap two girls around the same age had placed their heads and hands. Behind them two other boys, a brunette and a blonde with one flower crown made of daisies, were leaning against their backs and smiled for the camera."You seem so,"

"Weird?"

"Happy."

"Same thing."

"How did you found them?"this was the question that bugged Sarah the most.  Brendon had always be a very closed person, didn't smile for real most of the times, and yet he appeared so happy in all these pictures. He never smiled like that with them. So she couldn't help wondering how he had fitted to well with these people?

And would he be happy when he would return to them?

"I didn't. We found each other."

-  
Brendon liked going to kindergarten.

It was such a fun and new adventure even if he didn't have lots of friends. In reality, he had no friends but this wasn't going to cut off his wings. His older brother had advised him to go with the flow and try to mimic the other children but Brendon didn't like the other kids. He found them extremely boring, being constantly occupied with cars and dolls. Brendon wanted to explore, run, play hide and seek, even invent a super secret language that only he and his friend would understand.

The other kids though found this behavior weird and at times like this Brendon couldn't help feeling all alone. It  had only been a week in the kindergarten and Brendon had already managed to embrace solitude. He saw quietly in one of the chairs closer to the door and just awaited their teacher. He barely noticed the girl sitting next to him, moving her legs back and forth while staring at the ground. Then he heard the laughter from a group of girls just around the corner. It took him a while but he eventually realized that they weren't laughing at him but at the girl next to him. Brendon frowned and turned to examine the girl closer.

"The freak talks to herself."

"She cries a lot too."

"Obviously, she doesn't have any friends."one of the girls explained"Who would come near her?"

Brendon looked sadly at the blonde girl next to him. She was smaller than him, her hair falling in front of her eyes as she carefully lifted her head and looked across her."I haven't done anything wrong. Why don't they like me?"

Brendon didn't know how to reply to that. But judging from the girl's expression, she wasn't talking to him but perhaps herself. The girl let out a small heart warming smile and wiped away her tears as if someone had told her something to cheer her up. This made him smile a little, he was in general a very happy kid and seeing other people being sad upseted him. Especially if it was because of others, these girls knew nothing making fun of someone they didn't even know.

"Hello."he told her cheerfully taking her by surprise. The blonde girl glanced behind her to check if Brendon was talking to someone else before looking back at him with confusion.

"M-Me?"she stuttered making Brendon nod. The taller boy extended his  hand while putting the biggest smile on his face-to also piss off the mean girls from earlier-and cleared his throat."I'm Brendon."

"I'm Quinn."she replied in a soft whisper and pointed across her"These are Marley and Ryder."

Brendon looked at where she was pointing at and only saw two empty chairs. Nevertheless, he smiled and waved at the chair's direction. At that point Quinn smiled and appeared more happy than words could describe, this made Brendon feel better about himself too. He had made someone smile.

"Quinn?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to be my friend?"Quinn bit her lip before pulling her hair back and looking at him both shocked and hopeful.

"Y-You want me t-to be your friend?"

"Yes. You seem nice."and there was a time in Brendon's life when this was everything he needed. A nice person to be around, nothing more and nothing less, if you were kind and caring you would immediately win Brendon's affection. As far as he was concerned, Quinn seemed to be one of the few kind kids in his school."So do you?"

"Yes, I-I'd like that."

-

Time goes by and Brendon has the one thing he wished for. He has an awesome best friend who is there for him no matter what. Quinn gains more confidence too as long as Brendon is by her side. She loves him and he loves  her. Many other kids don't get it, or they do and just think that the two weirdos found each other, but Brendon knows he isn't weird and neither is Quinn.

One day he decided to talk to his mother about Marley and Ryder, Quinn's other friends, and was shocked to hear by what she told him. He finally understood why these girls were making fun of her and it made him sick. Apparently, Quinn had imaginary friends which from what his mum had told him happened to kids who felt very lonely. It was  their way of feeling better and thinking they have friends. Brendon was at first confused on why would someone make fun of someone for that until his mother explained that having imaginary friends was different and other kids did not like different.

"I like she's different. Different people are kinder."

At that moment, Brendon decided to look up everything he could find about having imaginary friends and tried to make Quinn as comfortable as he could. If she needed imaginary friends to stop feeling lonely, then Brendon would move mountains to make her realize she wasn't alone. Not anymore.

-

Brendon's sister Kyla starts dating for the first time when Brendon is in his first year of elementary. He's the first to know after finding her making out with Adrian Howell, he had no idea what exactly was going on which resulted in a long talk about flowers, boys, girls and butterflies. He was forever traumatized but that's another story.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too."

"Should we tell your sister?"

"She's getting ready for her date. Come near her and she will throw pillows at you."Quinn shrugged at Brendon's reply and laid on top of his bed. Brendon grins and runs towards her with a jump that finds him on top of her stomach.

"Get up you heavy whale."

"Hey!"Brendon complained"I'm not fat!"

"Well you're heavier than me!"

"I'm wound--"

"Brendon,"Kyla entered the room with Adrian standing behind her. Brendon took a deep breath and with one small push turned himself over letting Quinn finally move. The girl put her hand on her forehead dramatically as Brendon stuck out his tongue."What are you two doing?"

"He's torturing me!"Quinn yelled before Brendon threw a pillow at her. Kyla laughed in return and sent a nod to Adrian.

"Adrian and I will head out but, um he was supposed to babysit and"by the time Brendon and Quinn had registered what Kyla was saying she had already her arms on the shoulder of a young brunette boy. He had a fringe covering his left eye and wore a black shirt and jeans. Out of instinct, Brendon exchanged a look with Quinn."I thought you could all hang out?"

"Actual--"

"Thanks!"Kyla shout back as she shoved the boy inside and fled. Quinn burst into laughter as she got up from the bed and headed towards Brendon. The two friends scanned the newcomer from head to toes until they agreed he was okay. They weren't planning on befriending him though, as Kyla had wanted.

"You smell like smoke."Brendon noticed taking a closer sniff from his collar. The boy looked at him embarrassed and tried to smell his clothes.

"My parents smoke. Adrian too from time to time."The boy explained"I don't like smoking."

"Mum says smoking is a sin."Quinn added"Do you go to our school? I think I've seen you before."

"Um yes, you're in miss Pillsbury's class."

"Yep."she replied popping the 'p'. Then she turned to Brendon with a smile"I like him."

"I don't know."he mumbled to himself after letting out a sigh. Perhaps he was being unfair to the new kid, he shouldn't judge a book by its cover."Well this is Quinn and I'm Brendon, obviously. What's your name?"

"My name is Dan."

-

Brendon did not mean to be friends with Dan.

It sort of happened since their siblings dated. Of course Quinn always tagged alone and they had become the three musketeers in no time. Dan was overall a nice kid, liked to wear black and somewhat closed to himself. The first time his parents met him, they described him as emo and this led to the three friends searching for exactly two hours what an emo was.

They then spent three more hours trying to make sure that Dan wasn't cutting himself.

"So I did something bad."

"Oh my God you cut yourself!"

"Daniel James Howell how co--"Dan shushed them both by moving his hands in front of their faces. Both Brendon and Quinn raised an eyebrow but let him explain.

"I invited a friend of mine to our table."

At that moment, Daniel knew...

He fucked up.

Brendon spitted his water while Quinn's jaw dropped.

"Our table? This is our thing! You can't just ask random people to come."

"Look, we met in class and she has some troubles back home. She's a great girl I promise."he then turned to Brendon"You are the one who says not to judge a book by its cover."

"You're using my own words against me, again."

"It's what I do best!"

"Fine, she can sit with us, but if she's weird--"

"She's not. At least not weirder than us."Dan smiled"Plus, remember, the musketeers were four."

-

So here's the thing.

They aren't the three musketeers anymore.

"It's a thriller. Not like Saw though."Quinn explained as she put the movie on the computer. It had been exactly five years since she had met Brendon and four since her meeting with Charlie. She yawned and grabbed a blanket before sitting on the couch.

"You know I love your mansion. But we are watching a thriller and you're like six feet away!"Brendon complained jumping from the couch he was towards the one Quinn was sitting."Hand me a blanket, your majesty."

"Can we see Harry Potter instead?"Dan complained while hugging the pillow tighter. As a jump scare came on, Quinn jumped from her position making Newt also scream and cling on top of Charlie. Skye squealed in excitement and grabbed some popcorn from the table.

And at that point, everyone asked themselves, who?

You see, it was true, they weren't the three musketeers anymore but only because they had suddenly become a bigger group. An incredible big group that was very protected from one another.

Starting with Skye who was brought to the group with the help of Dan. She was a short but feisty brown haired girl with a big love for computers. She didn't speak much about her family but from what Dan had told them she was adopted and that made her life a bit harder than it should. The group of course did not push it since Skye was a very happy and warm person who could put a smile to everyone's face. She and Dan clicked immediately just like Quinn and Brendon had.

Some months later Brittany, Quinn's sister, twisted her ankle during one of her gymnastic contests and her parents did their best trying to find a doctor to fix it. Lucky for all of them, they found a very good doctor just some streets away and during Brittany's visits-in which Quinn always tagged alone-Quinn met the doctor's son, Charlie. Charlie was a strange kid from their school that only hang out with his cousin, so he didn't really have any friends apart from him, but after ranting with Quinn about books(the never ending fangirling over small things such as Carry On, The Maze Runner getting a prequel and even a child's book The Land of Stories)and space, two things they both loved and liked to talk about, they clicked. It came as no surprise that a week later, Quinn invited Charlie to their table.

And where Charlie went, his cousin Newt followed. Not that anyone disliked Newt, he was a cute blonde little boy with a very strong accent just like Charlie's. Skye and Quinn loved him immediately after understanding what a sweetheart he was. Eventually so did the boys.There was only one thing wrong with Newt-which of course wasn't wrong but many of the children's parents and other people from school considered odd-the way he dressed.

"I love her clothes."Skye noticed at the protagonist before turning to Newt"Don't you have a skirt like that?"

"Um, I did."

"You wore it a week ago."Brendon blurted out"Was it ripped?"

Newt shook his head sadly as Charlie patted his back sympathetically."His mum and dad didn't like it."

"They said I'm a monster. I am not a monster,"Newt whispered between sobs"am I?"

Skye and Quinn exchanged a look as they both got up to hug him. Brendon crawled towards them and while dragging Dan-who did not appreciate affection-into a group hug. Skye smiled at Newt and fixed his hair"I thought you looked beautiful in that skirt. You have the legs for it."

"I agree."Charlie said as Brendon and Dan shot him a look"What? He does!"

"Your parents are horrible Newt, I'm sorry."Dan told him"But don't listen to them."

"You can always move in with me."Charlie added"My parents love you and I always wanted a brother.  You know what would be really fun? If we could all live together!"

"I would watch that."Skye laughed.

"Charlie, you're a genius!"

"Thanks."Charlie smiled to his cousin"Wait what for?"

"The idea of us living together. We should do it."

"But how?"Quinn questioned."We can't afford a place on our own and I think it might be illegal."

"We could built a tree house, there's this giant tree in one of the properties dad owns. We could build it there."Brendon suggested"And then when we all grow up, we'll go to America and move in an apartment together."

"Sounds like a plan!"


	4. I don't ever want to let you down, I don't ever want to leave this town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But life has a habit of taking those you want closest and throwing them across oceans.

"House plants?"

"House plants."

"This isn't a house."Skye simply replies making both Dan and Charlie frown. Both of them had the absurd idea, according to Skye at least, to add two house plants in their tree-house. A crazy idea not only because the place was already small enough, yet comfortable for like a company of ten, but also due to house plants being for houses. Not trees. What kind of weird argument could that begin? Could this be similar to a human wearing smaller humans? Or since they were simple decorations it could be similar to a human wearing accessories made of human skin? Brendon tried to not search any further and just accept that it was odd.

Pretty odd.

"And it's a tree too. We're already in nature, what's the need for more green?"

"Yes, but house plants are great and perhaps if we were to put a small one near the window, this place will feel more homey. Isn't that the reason why we built it in the first place? To find a home."Charlie explained looking back at Dan for support. The older boy, who was ironically shorter than Charlie himself, nodded and placed a hand on Skye's back.

"He's right. This place needs to become our space, a place for us and us only. A home."Dan added the last word with clear adoration"Plus I love house plants!"

"Is anyone going to back me up on this?"Skye questioned looking at the rest of the gang. Newt shook his head and titled to the side making his flower crown almost fall off whereas Quinn shrugged in return not really paying attention to whether the house plants would stay or not. Finally, Skye sent Brendon a pleading look.

"House plants are okay, I guess."

"Yes!"both Dan and Charlie exclaimed happily. Skye threw her hands up and cursed under her breath about how she needed new friends. Like she could find new ones, it was their last year of elementary and they had already grown attached to each other's hips since the very start of it. That aside, they had earned quite the reputation as the weirdest group in the entire town.

"Oh! I almost forgot!"Brendon shout excitedly before pulling a wooden sign from his backpack. The sign wasn't fancy and the wood appeared moist in some parts of it, but everyone just paid attention on the big black letters in the middle. Cool kids only was written in cursive letter and had the 'i' replaced  with an exclamation mark. Quinn squealed and grabbed it taking a good look at it.

"As if we could ever be part of the cool kids."Dan mumbled to himself causing Brendon's smile to drop. 

"To me you are. All of you. Isn't that what matter?"Dan looked back at Brendon and smiled at how sincere his voice sound. The boy eventually laughed and gave Brendon a hug. Charlie smiled and hugged them both, the goofy smile never leaving his face as Skye and Quinn chuckled before joining the group. At that moment Newt took the sign that Quinn had placed on the floor and a marker from inside Brendon's backpack.

"And there!"he announced shortly after adding something to the sign. Brendon raised an eyebrow as the group of friends turned their attention to the sign which had now a new phrase written with bright pink marker beneath the Cool k!ds only. Newt had make a nice smiling face and had added the sentence 'House plants are welcomed too.' making Dan and Charlie both start laughing.

"Look at the time!"Quinn suddenly yelled grabbing Brendon's arm"We must be going. Father will kill me and I assume your parents will do the same."

"Right, no one wants to see mum angry!"

"Come on gang! Lets leave our tree-house of solitude before our parents ground us for eternity."Skye mocked and made her way to the staircase. Brendon followed by jumping straight down as Quinn mimicked Skye and used the stairs like a normal person. Dan put the wooden sign next to the house plant and got town with Newt and Charlie behind him.

.

The next day, Brendon woke up early and run off to Quinn's house two blocks away from his own. He began singing familiar songs as he rode his red bike to the Fabray residence, or mansion as his parents always called it. He reached the house extremely quick and found Quinn sitting on a bench in the porch. She wore a pink dress and had her hair up in a ponytail letting her golden earrings sparkle.

"Morning!"

"You're here early enough."Quinn told him dryly before lifting her gaze. Brendon looked at her puzzled and sat next to her. She hadn't even greeted him which was a very odd behavior for Quinn. That could only mean trouble, and since it was Quinn's trouble, it would be everyone's.

"What's the matter, ballerina?"

"Brittany saw a moving truck earlier this morning."

"And?"

"Near school."

"You don't think that,"Brendon didn't bother finishing his sentence. It could have been anyone that had moved away. Although, rumor had it, that Newt's parents were getting a divorce and that his dad would probably move away. Newt also happened to live very close to their school, but it couldn't have been his dad moving. He would have told them."how long ago?"

"An hour or so."

"Do you want to,"

"Yes, please."

.

Charlie didn't sleep well the previous night.

He always had a tendency to dream, nice dreams usually or maybe weird ones, sometimes he dreamed of his friends, family or future. Within time-and since he dreamed of something everyday-he had experienced many weird scenarios. There was a time when he had dreamed of Brendon being in a band called Panic at the party and him arguing with his manager about putting an exclamation mark on the name, between the words 'panic' and 'at'. One other time, his dream consisted of both Skye and Dan being insanely good with computer skills but while Dan would just made funny videos on YouTube, Skye had been recruited by a secret organization called H.A.M.M.E.R to hack some FBI files.

Other times, his dreams would be simply weird and impossible like one time when he dreamed that Quinn got pregnant after kissing a pug. There was also that time when he dreamed that he was half alien with his dad being human-like alien and his mum being normal. Those dreams were his favorite. If only he could really travel in space and time by using a red phone-booth called T.A.R.D.I.S. But anyway, that night he dreamed once more as per usual, only it wasn't a dream but a nightmare.

He saw Newt trying to kill himself.

And for the first time in forever, Charlie was scared. Mostly because this wasn't an unlike scenario. Some months ago when a tall boy from his school tried to shove him in a locker("I'll shove, Finnkenstein in a dumpster next time."Dan had threatened after hearing what had happened.)and he didn't tell his parents until a week later, they had a big talk. His mum encouraged him to talk to them about everything and how keeping secrets would be bad for him and then went on to explain as simply as she could depression and suicide to him.

_"You see, if you keep everything inside, you'll be sad."his mother had explained sweetly"And sometimes, when kids are sad for a long period of time, they become sick."_

_"I don't want to be sick."_

_"And you won't. Because that will happen only, if you don't smile, and we promise you honey"she whispered and held his hand as her husband smiled"we'll always protect you and make you smile. That's what families are for."_

_"What happens if you get sick?"_

_His mom's smile dropped while his father sat closer to him"Sometimes, if you don't heal it in time, kids decide to sleep. A different kind of sleep, a peaceful one to find clarity."_

_"But how?"_

_"Well, think of it like that; this kind of sleep works like a spaceship. It takes sad kids closer to the stars, but they can never return back."_

_"So in order to not go to the stars you need to smile and a good family?"Charlie asked curiosity getting the best of him. For a moment, he liked the idea of traveling to the stars but he wouldn't want to abandon Earth forever. His parents nodded."Will Newt go to the stars?"_

Charlie got up from his bed and rushed to the kitchen to get breakfast. He muttered his good mornings and grabbed a plate full of pumpkin pancakes. He had already lost his sleep, the least he deserved was a full stomach."Mum?"

"Hm?"

"Can you call uncle Harold and ask him to bring over Newt? We could go for ice cream."Mrs Smith let down another plate next to him and smiled sympathetically before kneeling next to her son. She pulled his hair away from his eyes and took both of his hands into hers.

"Baby, there's something I need to tell you."


	5. I wonder what would happen if we went back and put up a fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.

"Brendon, baby what happened?"Brendon's mother's sweet voice brings him back to reality. He sits on his bed, the teddy bear Charlie had given him for his birthday three or four years ago on his lap. He holds it closely to his chest, not bothering with how wet it is from his tears. Soon enough his dad and older brothers are in his room too throwing questions at him.

He doesn't really want to answer any of them.

"Bren, talk to us."Mason adds while sweetly rubbing his younger brother's back. He knows they just want to help, if it was for the whole family to be calm and caring, it meant they truly cared. But Brendon, the boy who loved to smile, was crying for the first time in front of his family so perhaps it wasn't them caring but them fearing. Fearing that they had broke the last intact piece of the family. 

At that point, his sisters made their way inside clearly shocked from what they were seeing as they run to his side. Kyla moved closer and wiped away his tears with her sleeves"What happened, little guy?"

"Newt's gone."he said in between sobs almost chocking before he could end that sentence. Even his father understands and smiles comfortingly."Charlie said they moved away. A-And he didn't, he did,"Brendon didn't finish what he was saying as the tears had gotten the best of him. Kyla wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her chest."He didn't say goodbye."

"It's okay."Kyla replied letting him cry and take it all out. As Brendon as being busy crying, Kyla glanced at their parents both with guilty expressions. Mason and Matt also exchanged a worried look about what was going to happen in the future. Kara just sniffed her nose and stormed out the room without saying a word. Kyla closed her eyes and planted a kiss on her brother's forehead."It's okay, little guy."

.

"Red! I said red!"

"It is red!"

"It's pink!"

"Just put your bloody hand in between my elbow and Quinn's legs and lets get over with it!"Dan yelled in frustration as Brendon placed his hand on the pink/red circle. Quinn was ready to argue but Dan shushed her in return. Skye let out a groan with her being beneath Dan's back and with Brendon's leg on top of her head.

"Who suggested we play Twister again?"

"It was either that or video games and Brendon doesn't like them."Quinn explained as she struggled to keep herself from falling.

"I give up!"Skye shout and let herself collapse on the ground. She fixed her shirt and made her way to the kitchen to drink some water. She hummed a tune and grabbed a glass of water when the phone began ringing."Urie! The president is calling you!"

"I'm busy at the moment!"

She fake gasped at that statement while grabbing the phone"This should be considered treason."she continued mumbling before answering it"Urie residence. Skye speaking."

"Hello, my wife and I saw your add on the newspaper about the house."the strange woman explained to her making the younger girl frown in confusion. She could swear that Brendon's family only had one house."Is it still for sale? Because we saw it like a week ago."

"Er, I don't know, I'll ask and I'll let you know as soon as possible."Skye replied quickly and mumbled her goodbyes to the woman. She hung up and took another long sip of her water. The sudden sound of heels startled her as she almost spilled what was left from her class. She turned around to see Mrs Urie with a nice warm smile and a bunch of grocery bags.

"Skye! How are you, sweetheart?"

"I'm great, Mrs Urie."she smiled while the woman put the bags on the counter"A woman called while you were away."

"Oh. Who was it?"

"I don't know, she said she saw an ad."she explained"For the house."

The older woman froze to her position. Skye knew she had gotten what she needed. Just this simple reaction showed her everything she needed to know and feared more than anything."You're selling the house."

It isn't a question. It's an obvious statement to both Brendon's mother and to Skye herself but she still feels the need to say it. She prays to get a negative answer, but she knows better than that. Life doesn't work that way."Are you moving away too?"

"Newt moved away two months ago."

"That wasn't my question."Skye shot back a little too loud but not enough for the others in Brendon's room to hear it"Are?"

"It's complicated."

"Does Brendon know?"Skye asked without getting a clear answer"Were you even going to tell him?"

"Don't tell him. Please."

.

Skye hated secrets.

Secrets made her feel guilty, she would spent many hours analyzing every little secret she had-especially at night-and it would only lead to her feeling guiltier. Yet Skye had successfully kept Brendon's moving a secret even if it had costed her many sleepless night. Until one day, it became too much.

"We can't go to different middle schools."Dan stated clearly annoyed"I'll talk to my parents and get them to change their minds."

"Dan's right. We stick together until the end, we'll even try to get to the same college!"Brendon spoke eagerly making Skye's stomach twist. She stops listening to what Brendon is describing but she does know what he's daydreaming about. He talks and dreams of a bright future. A future with them.

A future they can't have.

"Stop."she whispers to him but Brendon is so excited that he keeps on talking and both Charlie and Quinn look at him happily because they have the same dreams. Even Dan has the same look in his eyes and they all look so happy dreaming of the perfect life together. It breaks her heart."Please stop."

By the time Brendon hears her, she's already crying with hands on her face because she really doesn't deserve this. She had a perfect life with two loving parents and a bunch of amazing friends and now everything was shattering. Her parents were now fighting when they thought she was asleep, she had lost one of her best friends-she would soon lose another one too-and the only thing she had left was the tree-house near Brendon's house reminding her of how she was. Of who they were.

"We aren't having that. We can't have that."she sobs violently while Dan tries to put his hand on her shaking shoulder"And that's because you're leaving. And you don't know it but it's true a-and we didn't say goodbye to Newt."she continues crying as Brendon looks at her shocked like his entire world is crashing down. Quinn and Charlie are also in shock staring at each other hoping that they're dreaming.

"Skye--"

"I wanted to say goodbye!"she shout with tears rolling down her face making Brendon's parents come running inside his room. His mother looks at Brendon-who refuses to look back at her-and then at Skye who is still crying while Dan holds her."We deserved to know. He deserved to know."

Charlie is tearing up a little too because he understands exactly what he means. And he knows that Newt didn't know about his own moving, he would have told at least him if he knew, and the fact that so many parents would lie like that to their children sickens him. He hasn't talked to Newt, he didn't even get to say goodbye. He didn't want to have to go through the same thing with Brendon.

"Is it true?"

"Brendon--"

"Is it true?"this time Brendon's voice is loud and intimidating for his age. It breaks his parents' heart when they see exactly how mad and sad he is. But sometimes, there is nothing you can do to change life.

"I'm sorry, baby."

.

"We moved out a week later and went to Las Vegas."Brendon finished after rubbing his eyes. The memories still hurt him up to that day. Sarah took the scrapbook away and hugged him comfortingly. Even  Gerard and Ashley saved their sarcastic remarks for later.

"At least you'll have a cute reunion."Sarah smiled letting all the anger and envy she earlier had disappear. She was a great chapter in Brendon's life but she still remained just a chapter. They were people out there who played much bigger roles and Brendon deserved to be with them. He deserved to be happy.

And not the fake kind of happy he was with them.

Sarah knew, they all did. It was just easier to pretend.

"What do you thing happened to them?"

"I actually have no idea. But I guess, I'll find out."

.

3 years earlier

"I guess this is goodbye."Brendon whispered as the group looked at him sadly"Take care of our tree-house for me, yeah?"

"You know it, Bread."Dan mumbled while the other boy got inside the car. Everything moved in slow motion after that, the red car continued moving for a while until it was out of sight. Dan looked at his feet and grabbed his jacket. Skye fixed her coat and put her hand on Quinn's shoulder who still looked at where Brendon's car was some minutes ago.

"He's gone."she whispered and turned to Dan"My first true friend is gone."

"Quinn--"

"I want Marley and Ryder back."the statement shocked Dan who shook his head in return. Both Skye and Charlie exchanged worried glances unaware of what exactly Quinn was talking about.

"You don't mean that."

"I do because they wouldn't leave me. Brendon promised he wouldn't and he did. You will too eventually but they won't. I don't want to go through this again."Quinn cried as she embraced herself"I don't want anyone else."

"You won't. We won't leave. Not now, not ever."Charlie cut in.

"It's already happening! We're growing apart!"

"That's crazy talk, okay?"Charlie shot back taking her hand into his and turning to Skye and Dan. He extended his other hand and grabbed Dan who connected his own hands with Skye and Quinn forming a mix of a square and circle."We're together."

"For how long?"

"Forever. Until the end of the line. Because all we have is each other."Charlie explained"We're not perfect--"

"Just like, whatever this is,"Dan added looking at their circle.

"In a way yeah. But we're better together and we love each other. We aren't going to lose any other member of our weird little family. Yeah?"

"Yeah."Quinn nodded.

"We stick together,"Skye continued glancing at Dan to continue her thoughts.

"until the very end."


	6. They tell me I'm too young to understand they say I'm caught up in a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a sad chapter but it's just long instead. No angst...for now. Also this continues from last time when our dear group has just finished elementary and it will be the last 'flashback' chapter we'll have :-)

Here's the thing; People grow apart and that's just how life works. As you grow up, you become a more complex character and even the environment in which you live changes progressively, therefore no one is surprised when people grow apart. It's  not enjoyable in one way or another but it happens and you can not stop it.

Sometimes change is scary. Everyone knows it-it's why they hold on to the past with everything they have. But life doesn't work that way. It moves and you are bound to move with it either slowly or all at once.

Here's another thing about humans and life; in the first years of one's life, they live in a bubble. Children are happy and careless, loving everyone and everything. They don't discriminate, they give their entire being to others because in their own little magical bubble everyone is as nice as they are. It starts with them learning to understand the dirty hidden innuendos in cartoons and evolves in learning about death and the world's real boogeymen.

From that point and after, you either die or survive.

You either embrace the end or live long enough to be the one person your parents warned you about.

_(There's a third category in which you're just a broken vessel searching for someone to fix you. But isn't it ironic how the only people that will understand how broken you are will be just as broken and unable to fix you?)_

.

Skye can't sleep.

It's been happening for quite sometime and it keeps getting worse. Her energy was at its lowest and she could barely stay awake in her classes. It ate her alive and neither her nor her parents could make things better. If something, they only made things worse and left a bigger mess to clean.

Skye figured out that no one could really help her and if she was to be saved, she needed to do it herself. With that thought in mind, she sheltered herself from the world and avoided everyone at all cost. Even her best friends who had already suffered the loss of both Newt and Brendon. Skye liked to believe that everything was for the best. When she would get better, because she would, she would run to her friends' arms once more.

They didn't deserve to be around a broken person like her.

"That's all I have."

"You know I brought you many stuff, I was expecting a little more from your part."the older boy mumbled making Skye frown. She might have been two years younger than him but that didn't mean she was scared. She could knock him out if needed.

"Cut it Puckerman"she shot back"or do I need to let principal Coulson know about your little drug dealing."

"Fine, shortie."he grumbled and put his hand on his bag. He reached for a small bag of pills and handed them to her along with a large cup of coffee"You know, when you get tired of these, I could probably find some LSD for one of my best clients."

"I'm not like you."she whispered and grabbed the coffee and pills from his hands"I will not end up like you."

"They all say that at the beginning, but it's never true baby-doll."

.

Dan didn't like drugs.

So he really had no idea what was he doing behind that damn alley filled with smoke to meet a sixteen year old who was obviously a drug dealer. When he had confronted Skye about shutting him out and she had explained to him that she had some problems, he didn't exactly expected a drug problem. Not in a thousand years.

"Will I see you next week? I might find something stronger."the voice of the one and only Noah Puckerman sent shivers to Dan's spine. The boy wasn't good news and he certainly didn't want him to hang around Skye.

"Depe--"

"Skye! No!"Dan yelled as he pointed his finger towards Noah"I'm going to help you come clean. My best friend will not be a druggie."

"What are you talking about?"Skye questioned confused before taking her bag of pills and handing it to Dan"They are not drugs. Technically. They are hypnotics."

"For your sleeplessness?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."he told her feeling a bit embarrassed with himself"Are your parents fighting?"

"What do you think?"she asked bitterly and motioned her hand for them to go. Dan was the only person who truly knew what was happening in the Johnson residence but since Skye had tried keeping her distance, he had never learned that things had gotten worse. He just thought her parents visited a marriage counselor ."Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't. Promise."

All Skye wanted was to be left alone, to fix herself and then let other people in. It was a good plan but she forgot that once you shut someone out, you couldn't erase the past and bring them back. Lucky for her, Dan wasn't going to let her give up on their friendship. The downside? Eventually, they both gave up on one friendship.

Just not their own.

.

"What about a book?"

"I've read many."

"But not all."Charlie argued gazing outside his room's window. Summer was just around the corner and with school ending, a book would be a great company for a lonely soul. Furthermore, there were a billion books in the world and one could not simply have read them all. He scratched the back of his head for a while and then jumped from his chair."How about a record? You like Wham! right?"

"You really don't have to get me anything."Quinn continued with a warm smile"I'm not even throwing a party."

"Why not?"

"Brittany has a competition and mum and dad will go with her to Manchester for ten days, until the tournament is over."

"And you'll spent your birthday alone at home?"Charlie asked shocked. He recalled Quinn's past birthdays, they weren't anything fancy-just the six friends eating, playing and sometimes staying overnight-but they still were enjoyable. This year, however, he knew that things would be different. This year it would be just her and him. And they both had a pretty rough year already, they needed to blow off some steam.

"You know what? My aunt is coming tomorrow,"as Charlie spoke he witnessed Quinn's eyes becoming brighter and a hopeful smile formed on her lips. It made him hurt twice as much as he shook his head."my mother's sister."

"Oh. Have you talked to him?"Quinn asked sadness filling her voice. From what Charlie had heard from her, they didn't have any news from Brendon and the few times she had called he wasn't there or didn't want to talk. Eventually she stopped trying. They all did. Newt, on the other hand, was not any better. His aunt and uncle had cut all contact with Charlie's family which meant he hadn't heard from Newt for almost an entire year.

"No."Quinn nodded sadly"Anyways,"he continued after taking a deep breath"She'll be in our house for one week but when she's gone, I could ask my parents if you could stay with us for a while. It will be one day after your birthday but it will be fun."

"Charlie, you don't have to."

"I want to."the two children smiled and shared a hug. 

.

"You smell like smoke."

"And you smell like daisies."Dan said and coughed a little bit. He couldn't possibly be smelling smoke, he had barely managed to finish a cigarette. It wasn't that he liked smoking, it was all his brother's fault for not hiding his own pack of cigarettes well. Dan was only a kid and it was obvious that curiosity had gotten the best of him.

"Noah told me you wanted him to find you more nicotine."Skye explained"Since when is that a thing?"

"I tried this morning."he told her"It's nice, a bit uneasy at first, but it calms me down. It clears my head too."

"It's a drug."

"Says you."

"I take pills because they help me."she argued and let herself lean against the wall"My parents are divorcing."The statement made Dan raise an eyebrow.

"Are they going to fight for your custody?"

"No."she chuckled bitterly"They don't want me. Neither of them."

"And what does that mean? Wha--they can't do that."

"It's a small town. No one will judge them."she stated sadly"They're going to sent me back to the orphanage."

.

In exactly one week things have fallen apart for Quinn. Something happen to Charlie, like he completely disappeared of the face of the earth. Dan and Skye remained distance with only occasional hellos if they were to cross paths and they usually chose to avoid those too. Then her birthday came and she believed something would change.

Nothing did change though.

And Quinn spent her twelfth birthday alone in an empty house with no people calling her to wish her a happy birthday, not even her parents. Only Brittany sent her a message in the afternoon apologizing on behalf of both her and their parents for not calling. Quinn was once more left alone.

The one thing they had promised her she would never feel again.

"Oh, why are you crying, Quinny?"the voice was sweet and caring. Quinn lift her gaze and watched the girl talking. She was taller than her with long brown hair and a caring smile, a smile she knew all too well."Look at your eyes! Who made you sad, honey?"

Next to her stood a taller brunette boy who Quinn thought she would never see again. At least she hoped she wouldn't.

"You're not real."

"That's nonsense! Of course we are!"Marley argued and sat next to her"We heard it was someone's birthday and said we should stop by."

At that moment, Quinn brought her knees closer to her face and let her small 'birthday girl' hat fall from her head. She pressed her palms against her face and began sobbing. For she truly was alone. Marley and Ryder was just another proof of that."They all left me."

"But we won't."and with that Marley and Ryder hugged her tight bringing the feeling of safety back to her. A feeling she had missed dearly.

.

"There is someone on the phone for you."

"I don't want to talk."

"They refuse to hang up though."the blonde woman told Charlie. The boy sighed, why couldn't they all just leave him alone? He left his bed and snatched the phone from his aunt's hand. The woman just scoffed in return. If only she wasn't that cold hearted. She might have been related to his mother but the two women had nothing in common.

His mother was kind and caring, she smiled and could light up the world. She brought hope even in the most tough situations, that was what his dad always said, and was prone to help anyone who was lost. She was a fighter and one of the most important people in Charlie's life. His aunt, though, was the completely opposite. She was cold and distant, she showed no expression or fear and Charlie was positive that she never cried either.

"Hello?"there was a pause on the other line. Charlie wanted to scream, it was one of _these_ calls again. He hated doing these, he hated hearing all these distant relatives who suddenly remembered his existence. He hated hearing them pretending they care.

_"Hi."_ the voice comes out in a whisper but Charlie would recognize it everywhere _"My parents let me call. Grandma said, er she called and, it was just yesterday. I didn't know. We didn't."_

"I know."

_"You were in the airport."_

"My aunt was coming, we went to pick her up."he said and sniffed his nose.

_"I'm really sorry."_

"It's okay."he whispered"It's okay that they aren't here. They are living a life beyond and travel the stars."

_"In their red box?"_ Newt chuckled remembering the dream that Charlie had.

"Yeah."

_"I still wish I was with you."_

"I know."

_"And what are you going to do now?"_ Newt asked sobbing _"Live on your own?"_

Charlie glanced at his aunt who was, rather apathetically, reading a book while drinking tea in silence. He turned his gaze to his shoes and sighed"Oh, how I wish that was the case."


	7. Now I'm insecure and I care what people think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We aren't friends. We aren't enemies. We're just some strangers with some memories.

"Five more minutes!"

"Cut the crap."Brittany shot back while pulling Quinn's bed sheet"Five minutes means half an hour and you don't have that much time."

"It's the last day of summer!"

"Finally! You'll finally leave."Brittany joked making Quinn throw a pillow at her. Brittany then grabbed her younger sister's leg and turning her around. Quinn desperately tried to hold on to her sheet while letting out loud yelps."Wrong move, Lucy."

"Do you want to play dirty, Susan?"Brittany scoffed in reply causing Quinn to push her foot to her sister's chest and grab Brittany's ponytail"Surrender soldier, surrender."

"Fine. Fine! Let go of the hair you bastard!"Quinn nodded and did as she was told. Brittany got up and fixed her ponytail which was entirely ruined thanks to their little fight. Quinn continued laughing at Brittany before getting up to grab some clothes."Mum said that you need to enroll  yourself in Coal Hill."

"Can't she do it? Or dad? Or you for that matter?"Quinn questioned irritated"And don't I have to be eighteen or something?"

"In this town? You wish. You can even drink from  the age of ten here, education is the last thing they worry about."Brittany explained before throwing Quinn a blue t-shirt"Did you hear by the way? The town's major quit."

"He did?"

"Aha, I wouldn't really be surprised."Brittany continued while Quinn got dressed"I wouldn't trust the town's future to someone with the last name Fury. It sounds fake and perhaps from a comic book. Oh it could be an alter ego!"

"You and your conspiracy theories."

"I'm telling you, he's definitely working for a top secret government!"

.

"Do rocks have feelings?"

"How high are you?"

"6'3, I think."

"You fucking weirdo."Skye mumbled and jumped on top of Dan"Get up, Hobbit."

"Oh I'm sorry that I don't wake up super early to straighten up my hair, your majesty."Dan shout throwing her to the side of the bed. Skye groaned and punched his arm."Continue with that behavior and I'm sending you back to the orphanage."

"I don't think you can, Daniel. I have already adopted the last name."she stated causing Dan to stick out his tongue like a little kid."We need to drop by the Academy today you know, lessons start tomorrow."

"Oh my God, summer's over!"Dan cried and buried his face in one of the pillows"Hell starts tomorrow! I'm not ready to see every person I hate again!"

"Same. But we have to or your parents will kill us both. So get your dramatic ass up and lets go get some coffee."

"You have an addiction."

"Remind me, which one of us is smoking?"

.

There are times in the universe when  stars align and when that happens-even if it's miles away-something beautiful and wonderful happens in our world. In a way, stars are guiding us through the dark. Our faith is in their hands, and that was exactly what fascinated us the most. Let alone, it's an enchanting sight.

"Isn't it beautiful? Look at the sky, Philly."the woman smiled at her son and pointed at the sky. The boy turned to the sky's direction, looking at it with awe. A beautiful sight to his eyes. Then again, Phil always found the beauty within everything. It was just the way his mind worked, he could find the good in everything. A tactic that often worked since everyone loved him for his oh so optimistic and gleeful side."Oh! Look how many kids."

Phil turned around and watched the building in front of him. A big sign welcoming them to Coal Hill Academy was the first thing that caught his attention. After a while, however, he became aware of the other kids who were wither with their parents or by themselves. Some laughed, others complained about school and some just stood and stared at the void."This way, honey."

Phil followed his mother with a big smile. Some kids who happened to look at him smiled back, even those who didn't seem so friendly. It just proved Phil's theory that if you treated other people nicely, they would do the same for you. 

"And your full name?"

"Newt Saxon."Phil sat in one of the available chairs and caught a glimpse of a blonde boy inside. The ginger woman in front of the boy, who Phil assumed was like a secretary, nodded and wished him a good school year. When the boy came out, Phil was able to study him more. He wore tight jeans and a pink jumper which was too big for him. 

"I like your jumper."Phil stated with a smile that made his mother proud. The boy looked at him puzzled, probably not used to such comments. He glanced at his jumper and then back at Phil."It suits you."

"Thank you."

Phil waves goodbye and patiently waits for his turn. His mother eventually leaves and hands him the papers needed for his enrollment. Many more students came and go and Phil studied them all. Learning more things about his future classmates was the best preparation for the next day. Then suddenly after hearing the sound of a motorcycle-as if it was only inches away from him-his eyes met some stormy brown ones.

"One day you're going to kill us."a girl told the very attractive boy that Phil was staring at"How do you even have  a license?"

"You're just bitter because you haven't."the boy argued"Now go hand the papers to miss Pillsbury."

"They really need to hire an actual assistant."the girl mumbled and made her way to the line for the office. At that moment, the unknown boy  became aware of Phil's staring and opened his mouth to speak-from his expression Phil could tell he wasn't happy-but the sound of the office's door opening cut him off.

The brunette boy stared at the girl who had come out and was walking towards the exit. The girl stopped on her heels and turned to look at him."Hey."

"Hi."

"H-How you've been?"

"Good."Phil looked at them back and forth, curiosity getting the best of him."How's your friend?"

The girl laughed bitterly"How's yours?"she asked him harshly and went on her way. The boy turned to his friend-the also brown haired girl who had come with him-confused.

"I was just asking about Charlie."the boy explained to his friend"I didn't realize it was bad."

"It's been years since then. They might not even be friends anymore."

"Next!"the assistant's voice brought Phil back to reality and reminded him of what he was doing there. Phil got up and got inside, almost bumping into a much taller boy who had gotten inside before him.

"Hello, I'm Phil Lester."


	8. But epiphany is such a cliche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to fall in love, not at all but at some point you smiled and holy shit I blew it.

_September, 6th_

"I'm certain that this new school year will be amazing,  even better than the last one and trust me last year was _sick_."Phil almost chocked at the sound of these words. There was nothing more embarrassing than a middle age man, who had already started losing plenty of his hair, desperately trying to become one with young people's culture. If he was also to seem his new headmaster wearing a black hat with the word SWAG on it, Phil would jump out of the window.

"So tell me, Phil"Mr  Coulson continued and put his hand on Phil's shoulder"where are you from?"

"Manchester, sir."

"Oh don't call me sir! We aren't that many years apart."only they were. They were quite some years apart and frankly, Phil had never felt more uncomfortable in his life."And how do you find our school?"

"It seems nice, though I haven't even star--"

"Excellent!"The man replied ignoring him as they returned to the principal's office. Phil made eye contact with the secretary, who he learned was there for only a brief amount of time as the previous woman working there had gotten pregnant and was now eight months in the pregnancy, and almost shout for help. He didn't doubt that principal Coulson meant well but the boy had already a lot in his mind. He just wanted to go to his classes and get over with it. But for his own bad luck, he would have to wait.

"Ah, another newcomer. Two more to come."Mr Coulson stated with excitement and walked towards another boy sitting on one of the chairs outside. Phil remembered him from yesterday, the two of them had bumped on each other in  his way to the office."And who are you?"

Phil studied the boy-since he hadn't the chance to do it yesterday. He wore a plain blue t-shirt, black jeans, a bracelet in his left hand and a backpack was hanging from his shoulder. Phil sensed something odd about him but couldn't understand what that was exactly, so he smiled and kept his mouth shut."Matteusz--"

"--Andrzejewski, I should have realized it sooner."Mr Coulson leaned closer to the desk in front of him and grabbed two files"Your schedules. Let me just--"

"We have a big problem."a red haired woman shout as she sprinted inside"Last piece of pie. May and Quill. Hell can't even describe what is happening. Teacher's office now!"

Phil and the other boy, Matteusz, exchanged confused glances and watched their headmaster starting to panic. The red head teacher left when shouting echoed from down the hall and Mr Coulson brought both teens outside from his office. He then quickly looked around, his eyes scanning every student that made their way to their classes. Something that Phil also ought to be doing at that moment."Ward!"

Another boy, who they would assume was Ward, turned around slightly regretting his decision."Yes?"

"Can you get the new kids to class?"

"What? Oh no I can't. I need to run for practice, coach Garret--"

"Great! Thank you, Grant."

"That guy never listens, does he?"Phil whispered to himself. Matteusz shrugged and turned his attention to Ward. Grant was shorter than Matteusz, about the same height as Phil, but way more muscular than both of them. He also wore a red jacket with the school's mascot which Phil assumed was due to him playing football. Exactly what Phil needed on his first day...an athlete.

"Let me take a look at those,"he stated and grabbed the two files with their schedules. After a while, he closed them abruptly and grabbed both boys by their backpacks"better move fast."

The trio continued moving for quite sometime until they finally reached a class. From what Phil had seen, his first subject for today was Physics-which he loved. Yet when they approached the class, they found it empty. Grant groaned and spun both them and himself around. After what seemed an eternity of cursing, his eyes lighted up.

"Zoe! My favorite girl!"Grant exclaimed and rushed to the side of a thin girl with curly brown hair. The girl closed her locker and turned towards Grant clearly not amused.

"I have a boyfriend."

"So? I have a girlfriend too."

"True, let me rephrase this,"she corrected as Grant crossed his arms"I have a boyfriend who I love."

"I love Kara!"Grant replied in defense. He was ready to say something else when a girl passed them in a hurry-Phil thought she saw her yesterday at some point-making Grant completely lose his track of thought.

"You were staring at Mary Sue a second ago."Zoe shot back.

"Was not! And what kind of name is Mary Sue?"

"Her name isn't Mary Sue, we just call her that because her real name is weird."

"Good to know. Anyways, you have Math next period, right?"

"Unfortunately."

"Okay then, this is Phil"he said practically throwing Phil in her arms"he has Physics-but I think miss Quill isn't coming-so help him get to Math class when the bell rings."and with that, Grant grabbed Matteusz and ran like the wind.

.

Matteusz just wanted to go to his class.

Why was this so hard? After what seemed like a century of running, the two boys finally got in a classroom."Jemma, hi,has Mr Banner arrived yet?"

"April."

"What?"

"My name is April, we share most of our classes. I even came to your birthday party."the brown haired girl explained"But no, he hasn't. I heard there's something going on in the teacher's room so many classes will be delayed."

"Perfect."Grant answered happily not bothering to apologize to April. He friendly hit Matteusz's chest twice and went on his way. With a small sigh escaping his lips, Matteusz took a seat next to April and took his stuff out of his bag. At least he could finally get rid of that heavy backpack filled-thanks to his mother-with plenty unnecessary stuff. What did he need the three extra shirts and two towels anyways?

"So you're new, right? I'm April by the way."

"Matteusz. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

.

"I swear I didn't know, class has started. It won't happen again."Phil explained. He rally didn't since no one considered a good idea to tell Phil about the Physics teacher coming normally to her class-after only a small delay. Which left Phil to deal with a very moody teacher who wasn't going to go easy on him on his first day.

"You should have asked."

"I know, it's just my first day and I--"

"Oh, it's your first day! Why didn't you say so? I would have at east bought a red carpet, your majesty."

"This wasn't what I m--"

"I'll see you in detention, Lester."

With less than half a day passing, Phil had not only gotten detention was was also probably in miss Quill's bad list. All very wonderful accomplishment for a new student. Phil sighed in defeat and exited the classroom."Don't worry about it, Quill doesn't like anyone. Not even herself. Well, maybe kitties."

But for some reason, Zoe's comments didn't make him feel better.

.

"And off we go to the worst place in our school,"April stated as Matteusz looked around. Most kids he met in class seemed nice but none of them was too keen in making friendships. Therefore, Matteusz-after April encouraged him to do so-befriended April. After all, she was very helpful and seemed genuine."the cafeteria."

"It doesn't seem that bad."

"You're saying that because you're innocent."April chuckled and made her way towards a table in which a black girl was already sitting, her eyes glued on a book which Matteusz assumed wasn't for school."Matteusz, this is Tanya."

"Hell--"

"Shush!"the girl, Tanya, shout and slightly hit his arm. April sent him an apologetic look before snatching the book from Tanya's hand"Hey! I was reading this."

April raised an eyebrow and looked at the book"The miseducation of Cameron Post?"

"I relate."she explained and grabbed the book before turning to Matteusz"I'm Tanya."after having introduced themselves, April shook her head laughing and sat down. Matteusz followed her lead and sat across Tanya.

"How come your boyfriend isn't joining us today?"Tanya shot April a look filled of disgust."I'm kidding."

"Never joke about that!"Tanya replied, shivering at the thought"Plus Ram is in love with y--"

"Guess who aced the pop quiz in Math class."another boy exclaimed full of excitement. He sat next to Tanya and went on to explain what exactly had happened earlier on. After a minute or so of talking about math he became aware of Matteusz's existence."Who is that?"

"Matteusz."April introduced.

"Should that answer my question?"the boy asked.

"Ram this is Matteusz, he's new."April repeated, this time with obvious annoyance. Tanya grinned and whispered something to Ram but neither April nor Matteusz were able to hear it. From what Matteusz could tell Ram and April didn't really get along-or they were just showing affection towards each other that way-he wasn't sure."Oh my God, look at him."

"Not again."Ram sighed as the group subtly looked behind Tanya to the entrance. Matteusz watched a blonde boy with a green shirt and red pants-Matteusz was certain that his cousin had the same pair, but who was he to judge-looking around uncomfortably.  But after following April's gaze, he realized that they were in fact staring the boy next to the one he had noticed. He was about the same height with the other boy, still shorter than Matteusz though, was dressed casually and had a big smile on his face. The only word with which Matteusz could describe him was beautiful.

"You're just jealous."April said while looking at the boy"Charlie is an amazing guy."

"I agree, I like Charlie."Tanya added making Ram frown"But if I hear one more time about how perfect and dreamy he is, I will throw up."

"That's because you're ace."

"And gay."Ram added.

"Shush! Do you want everyone finding out?"

"Who is Charlie?"Matteusz asked not being able to hide the interest in his voice. Luckily, none of the others seemed to mind-though they did mind April's excitement at the question.

"Charlie Smith, miss Quill's nephew. You'll meet her soon, she's our physic teacher."

"I still don't think they are related."Tanya cut in"Charlie is very quiet and closed to himself, whereas miss Quill is--"

"Satan."Ram explained.

"Anyway, Charlie is one of the best guys I have ever met. He's brilliant, handsome, caring and of course--"

"Very gay."Ram finished"But April is too blind to see it."

April and Ram continued having a small fight and Matteusz turned his attention to the wall. His mind drifting to Charlie, Matteusz had had other crushes before and was not a person who would fall in love exclusively with one's appearance but he had to admit that Charlie was beautiful. And maybe, just maybe, the sight of him sent shivers down his spine-but in a good way.

Then suddenly a big splash was heard and everyone turned their attention to just a few tables behind. Matteusz watched the horrified expressions on his newly found friends and tried to understand what was going on. After a while, he finally had a clear image; Charlie was standing in front of another boy soaking wet with an expression as if he was regretting his life choices.

"Remind me, why do we sell slushies in the school?"Tanya questioned. Everyone ignored her and continued looking at what was happening.

"Hey, Jolly Green Giant!"another brown haired girl quipped"Pick on someone your own size."

The other guy, who was obviously much taller than her, laughed."And I suppose that's you."

"Nope!"the girl replied and quickly bent down letting a guy behind her throw a slushy at the boy. The girl smiled proudly and sat back to her place while the guy who had helped her laughed.

"Why you,"the boy grunted and grabbed the other guy by his shirt"oh how I will enjoy this, Howell."he slowly raised his hand ready to punched him when a bunch of teachers came inside. Much yelling followed, but Matteusz couldn't see what was going on. Besides hearing a big loud 'Detention' aimed towards the Howell boy.

Then, the boy used a chair and jumped on top of the table where his friends-at least Matteusz assumed they were his friend-were sitting."Attention, Coal Hill. I know you're all a bunch of bloody cowards"he yelled"but if one of you could help my mate, Charlie, with this _sticky_ accident, I'd be grateful."he finished and got down.

Matteusz remembered that his mother had given him some extra clothes-although Matteusz found them unnecessary-and since no one else seemed to being eager to help, he grabbed his backpack and walked towards Charlie.  "You don't have to."Charlie told him, trying to fix his shirt, even his voice seemed to capture Matteusz.

"No, no I want to."he replied"Plus I had come over-prepared."

The Howell guy smiled and went to climb on the table once more"Also, important note! Over there, next to Skye, is a bag of Maltesers. When I come back, they shall still be there. I do not care if they are very cheap and easy to find, this is _my_ bag. Got it?"


	9. Swallow nostalgia chase it with lime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Retrouvaille: the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in the same timeline with the previous chapter just a different point of view.

Weight.

She doesn't feel weight. The ground is floating, she steps on it and maintains her position. She doesn't go lower-yet she doesn't go higher-she keeps steady. She's a feather, light and delicate, she's part of something else. She's left behind like a feather. But a feather can survive more easily than a bird in a game of survival. 

It's an everyday thing, simple and graceful, it's nothing more than a routine. They call it petit allegro. First two glissade jeté batus to warm up, then an entretrois, pas de bourrée and royale. Everyday she does the same thing and pushes herself to her limits all for one purpose. She becomes better with time, yet she lacks posture. Does anyone care? No, because it's easy to judge others but no one can really accept criticism. She knows she isn't a ballerina, her teachers do too, but her parents refuse to acknowledge it. For them she's full of grace and dance runs in her veins, for them she's a magnificent bird.

But she isn't a bird.

She's a feather.

"One of these days, you're going to fall."Brittany states, she leans against Quinn's wardrobe and watches her younger sister trying to dance. It's early and the world is still sleeping, except of course these young kids who will face their first day at school and can't sleep because of the never ending fear."Don't make yourself fall."

For yes, Quinn might be a feather but she wouldn't fall like one. No grace in her falling, no similarities between the fall of hers and a feather's, no peace and quiet. In her falling, Quinn was destined to act like a bird. And I wonder, how does a bird fall from the sky?

"School starts in two hours, I can practice, take a bath and have lunch in time."

"That's if your make up and clothes take you less than thirty minutes."

"I can manage that."

"Of course you can. But, maybe this year, you should try doing some things for yourself."by no means does Brittany mean that her sister isn't pretty. She is, in her own way, a natural way might she add. However, she could accomplish so much more if she took care of herself. Dress up a little-not for others but for herself. That could be the start of a better, different, year.

"I'll try."

"Quinn, what I'm trying to say is that--"Brittany didn't get to finish her talking as the sound of the doorbell echoed in the house. The two girls grinned mischievously to each other and made their ways outside the room, both eager to open the door."Stop pulling my hand!"

"Well, you are purposely blocking me!"

"That's because you never actually open the door! You just reach the doorknob and wait for someone else to come."

"It could be a murderer."

"So you're going to have someone murder me instead?"Brittany asked clearly hurt. Quinn's gaze soften for some brief seconds until her sister chuckled and stuck her tongue out. Brittany brought her hair behind and opened the door causing Quinn to scoff."Morning!"

The stranger turned around feeling a bit shocked. He cleared his throat and gave his most warm smile. Brittany stuck her head outside and looked around in search for a grown up. The boy followed her gaze and then waved trying to be as friendly as possible."Hey, I--"

"Aren't you a little young to be out in six in the morning and knocking on stranger's door?"

"Actually, I'm almost seventeen and a half which technically makes me eighteen. So I'm pretty much a grown up."

"Not exactly."Brittany mumbled before stopping herself"Wait a minute, do I know you from somewhere?"

"What is taking so long?"Quinn blurted out and stepped outside. She looked at the stranger from head to toe, a bunch of thoughts and memories filling her. The upper part of her nose tingled as she began having a sudden urge to cry."Do I know you from somewhere?"

"I don't know. It's not like we used to be best friends or something."

"Chris?"

"Yes, it really is--wait a second, who the fuck is Chris?"at that point Quinn let out a noise which was neither a laugh nor a cry and wrapped her arms around him."No, I'm serious who is that Chris guy?"

"I'm kidding, you big forehead."

"I already feel the love."Brendon mumbled before also wrapping his arms around his childhood friend. Brittany watched them skeptically, trying to bring back old memories. She tried to remember when again she had seen that genuine smile on her sister's lips. It truly had been too long. Then in a moment of clarity she make a small jump on spot.

"Brendan Urie!"

"It's actually Brendon but sure, I'll take what I can get."

.

"Morning Quill."

"Ah and the prince has finally awoken, this calls for a celebration."Quill mocked while lifting her half empty cup of coffee. Charlie sighed and grabbed some cornflakes and milk from the counter.

"You don't need to call me like that every time I wake up."

"I shall stop when you stop acting like Sleeping Beauty every morning."Charlie frowned upon her apathy. Like every morning, Quill would sit in the kitchen quietly sipping her coffee and playing with her tablet. Well, not really play, more of aimlessly looking through cat pictures.

"Why do I even put up with this?"

"You should have gone to your grandmother's."

"I wasn't going to leave my hometown, my friends--"

"Oh right your friends! Because, oh my, what a social creature you are."Quill began"But wait a second, last time I checked, you didn't have any friends. And honestly I don't wonder why."

Charlie didn't reply. There wasn't any point, he and Quill fought more than cats and dogs. He wouldn't suddenly try making amends with her. Instead he chose to ignore her and made himself some breakfast. Luckily in exactly one year he would become an adult, responsible for his life and somewhere far away from his slightly psychotic aunt. The knock on the door startled him slightly but he decided to keep on preparing his breakfast-even if he felt Quill's eyes stabbing him  repeatedly. 

"Oh don't worry, the maid's going to get it."Quill mumbled and got up heading towards the door. She stared at the young boy in front of her for a good amount of time dead in the eye until the other was uncomfortable. The boy opened his mouth to speak but Quill sighed.

"I'm an atheist."she stated and closed the door with force.

"Who was it?"Charlie questioned.

"No one."Quill replied and went to grab her coffee before she was once more cut off by the doorbell. She cursed underneath her breath and went to open again. This time the boy was confident and ready to speak but Quill stopped him.

"Ring this bell one more time and I will cut off your fingers. Continue wasting my precious time with whatever is it that you're selling and I will feed them to you."

"But miss--"

"What did I just say?"she asked irritated and shut the door. Quill let out a sigh and returned inside. She sat down quietly-much to Charlie's surprise-and took a sip from her coffee. However, the doorbell rang once more and Quill had enough. She grabbed a knife from the counter and made Charlie spit out his food.

"How about I go open this time?"he asked and quickly went to get the door. Charlie opened the door making Newt sigh in relief.

"Thank God it's you!"

"Newt? I didn't know you were coming."Charlie told him before giving his cousin a big hug.

"Yeah,"Newt began after bringing his suitcase in front of them"I didn't really plan ahead."

.

"So how long are you staying?"

"I don't know, how does forever sound?"

"It's an awful long time and that's a promise you can't keep. Unless you've made a deal with Satan."Quinn concluded"Is that why your forehead is so big?"

"No deals with the devil, I swear!"Brendon laughed"Then since I can't give my forever, how does an entire year sound?"

"It sounds too good to be true. Are you sure you aren't lying?"

"When have I lied again?"

"You had told Charlie that he could charge his phone by doing the chicken dance."

"Fair point."

.

"And why did you leave?"

"Well, dad has a problem with his heart."

"Then he should most likely divorce your mum."

"Actually, she isn't causing him any problems. According to them, having a freak as a son is what will sent my dad to the grave."Newt stated and pointed at what he was wearing"I know it's stupid--"

"It is stupid! What you want and like can't kill your dad."Charlie shot back.

"--but I don't want to take any chances, it's better that way."

.

"I lost some friends but it wasn't really the first time."Brendon explained referring to his past moving"I'm still very happy that I am being reunited with you guys."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that."

"True, Newt is still gone but I still thin k that we can work things out. Just the five us, how hard can it be?"

"That's not what I mean."

.

"Brendon left. He had to moved away shortly after you left."

"You're kidding."

"No,"Charlie continued"everything went to Hell after that."

.

"Mr and Mrs Johnson got a divorce."

"I thought their were seeing a marriage counselor."

"They tried but it didn't really work out."Quinn explained"They didn't fight over Skye's custody."

"Which means?"

"It would normally mean that Jiaying was to take Skye's custody."

"And I assume that didn't happen."

"No because both of them were very powerful and persuasive,"Quinn replied with obvious disgust at their names"so the only other option was to put up Skye for adoption. But who would adopt such an old girl?"

"Oh no."Brendon whispered a thousand scenarios forming in his mind. That could mean a lot of things, a lot of things could have happened to Skye and most of them were bad."Did they do it? Did they sent her to saint Agnes?"

"They did and it broke her."Quinn continued"She was falling asleep in class again from time to time, she always looked tired and Dan told us she hadn't slept for days. Then Noah Puckerman happened."

"Wait Noah Puckerman was  a, er, you know."

"Oh I know."Quinn said"Luckily for everyone, it was only sleeping pills and some other things to fix her insomnia."

.

"Meanwhile, Dan's parents made it big."

"Big how?"

"Some computer program"Charlie replied trying to think exactly what the Howells had discovered"anyway, they traveled abroad a lot and let Adrian take care of Dan."

"A horrible decision obviously."

"True because Dan went through a very rough period and since his parents weren't there, he did some things."

"Who did he murder?"

Charlie looked at his cousin with a look that reminded the other of miss Quill and continued telling the story"So Dan began smoking and maybe drinking."

"But Dan said he would never do that. He hated smoke, always coughing and complaining."

"People change. Just like seasons."Charlie argued"One good thing did come out though."

"What?"

"He promised to stop smoking, even though he didn't keep his promise, if his parents adopted Skye."

.

"Skye Howell. It has a nice ring to it."Brendon chuckled"What about Charlie?"

"His parents died."Quinn stated sadly trying to avoid showing any emotion. Brendon continued asking her about it, when it happened and how. What happened to Charlie afterwards and a lot of things that Quinn knew and didn't. Somewhere in the back of her head, she knew the answer to everything. 

She just didn't want to speak about it.

.

Some hours later, Quinn found herself in the worst position ever. Having to explain to her best friend that she was a loner that most kids made fun of or didn't acknowledge while doing her best not to drag him down with her. Of course Brendon didn't notice and made his way happily towards a table during lunch time .

"How lucky are we to have found a table only for us?"Brendon exclaimed with excitement"Just like old times."

"Only way less traumatizing."Quinn added and glanced around. Since the duo had arrived quite late, they had managed to find some of the last spots. In fact, all empty chairs belonged to their table so Quinn was certain that something bad would happen. Something bad always happened.

"Oh I forgot to tell you! You won't believe who was in first period with me."

"If you say Justin Bieber, and trust me I hate to crash your spirit, his name is Sam Evans."

"No! Skye!"

"Skye as in--"

"No."another voice blurt out. Both Brendon and Quinn turned around to see a smiling Skye and a grumpy-as usual-Dan holding his tray"I actually plan on being cool this year so no hanging around with the weird squad."

"Shut up."Skye replied and took a sip from her tea"Brendon said we should all hang out, for old time sake's."

"Yeah."Brendon agreed with a big smile.

"Aha and why would you two believe that I would like that? We aren't friends anymore, we're barely acquaintances."Quinn sighed at Dan's words and she reached for her bag. The boy's gaze followed her curiously as Quinn took out a bag of Maltesers. She looked at the bag for some seconds and then threw it to him."Do you really think you can buy my friendship with bloody candy?"

"In that case I might as well take them back."

"No, they're mine!"Dan growled and grabbed the bag"You're forgiven and I owe you gratitude."

"Hold it there,"Skye cut in"is that Charlie with Newt?"

"Not every blonde boy is Newt."Dan stated before looking at the two boys."Only this one wears girly pants so yeah that's definitely Newt."

"He still pulls them off."Brendon stated making Dan look at him confused and with judgment"What? I'm just stating facts. Plus I too would look great with these pants, and maybe heels."

"You wish."Skye argued.

"Please, I can make these high heels work trust me."

"Is that Finn Hudson with a big splashy on his hand?"Quinn asked with clear terror.

"Wait I don't understand--"Brendon was cut off by the sound of a splash which made the entire room freeze to their spots. Charlie was standing in front of Newt trying to shelter him-and probably his clothes-soaking wet. 

"Oh no, no one messes with our group."Skye quietly mumbled remembering her childhood. They never let anyone hurt someone from their group, and yes sometimes it didn't end well, but if they were getting in trouble they would do it together. As a family. Skye clenched her fist and walked up to Finn with Dan following her shortly after.

Even if he knew that Skye's plan was idiotic.

"Hey, Jolly Green Giant! Pick on someone your own size!"

Finn laughed in return"And I suppose that's you."

"Nope!"Skye replied happily and quickly bent down letting Dan hit Finn straight in the jaw. Both Newt and Charlie tried to hide their laughter as Skye called them over. Dan let out a laugh having succeeded in his job and sat next to Charlie.

"Why you,"Finn began and grabbed Dan by his shirt's collar while raising his other fist to hit him"oh how I will enjoy this, Howell."

"Hudson, Cancer Enthusiast."the two boys turned around to face three of the teachers having appeared clearly not happy with the sudden fighting. Unfortunately for Dan, all three of them were bad news. Starting with Dorothea Ames who might have looked sweet at first but was in reality a human devil. Then there was coach John Garrett who of course didn't let anyone mess up with his athletes-including Finn Hudson who was one of the best in the team-and finally evil took human form in the face of Andrea Quill."What is going on?"

"Coach, Howell over here punched me."

"Is that so Mr Howell?"Quill cut in.

"He was only defending me."Charlie blurted out and got up. Quill just scoffed as this didn't mean anything.

"Mr Howell, you just earned yourself a detention."miss Ames stated"Hudson, you're off with a warning."

"This isn't fair."Newt argued but Dan just smiled and nodded accepting his faith. Then, by using his chair he got up on the group's table. The teachers sighed with irritation but Dan decided to ignore them.

"Attention, Coal Hill! I know you're all a bunch of bloody cowards but if one of you could help my mate, Charlie, with this sticky accident, I'd be grateful."he finished and got down. At that moment, he saw a tall brunette boy approaching Charlie with a backpack and a towel. Dan figured that he hadn't seen him around before which would explain his kind and friendly behavior.

"You don't have to."Charlie blurt out shyly but the boy shook his head and took his hand.

"No, no I want to. Plus I had come over-prepared."and with that the two boys made their way to the bathroom. Dan smiled proudly and followed the teachers until realization hit him and he had to get up to the table once more.

"Also, important nite! Over there, next to Skye, is a bag of Maltesers. When I come back, they shall still be there. I do not care if they are very cheap and easy to find, this is my bag. Got it?"since no one had a comment to make, Dan smiled again and followed miss Ames to the principal's office.

"I ship it."

"Dan and Maltesers?"Quinn asked with curiosity. Skye shook her head in disgust.

"Don't remind me, one time he took them to bed with him."she explained"But I was talking about Charlie and the tall dreamy guy."

"Same, I swear I saw them blushing."

"I call maid of honor!"

"You can't be maid of honor!"

"Because there will be no bride?"

"No, because I will be maid of honor!"Brendon shot back. Newt laughed along before quickly adding that since Charlie was his cousin, he should be made maid of honor. Finally, Quinn continued eating her lunch with her head free of worries and imaginary friends(that hadn't bothered her all day). It was as if nothing had changed in this small suburbia.


	10. When the moon found the sun he looked like he was barely hanging on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't love at first sight. It took five whole minutes.

"I haven't seen him around."Charlie almost jump at the sound of Skye's voice. He gulped and closed his locker finally revealing Skye behind it. Charlie clenched his heart and took a step back accidentally stepping on Newt's foot who he hadn't notice. Quinn tried to hold her laughter as Newt groaned in pain. "New blood from what I figured."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Lucky for you, I have a connection."Skye continued ignoring him and looked over at Quinn.

"His name is Matteusz and he moved here from Poland."Quinn stated"That's all he told class when Mr Schue made him introduce himself."

"It's not a lot, I know, but I got you covered my precious child."Skye continue rambling while Charlie felt his cheeks turning red. His friend was being ridiculous, he hadn't taken an interest on a boy he had just met just because he had helped him. This wasn't some cliche extremely long fan fiction that takes too long to write in which the two main characters would fall in love in like one chapter. This was real life and Charlie had already learned that the hard way.

"I don't care about him."the statement came out more rudely and fake than Charlie had intended. He shook his head lightly to take a hold of himself and continued"He was very kind to me."

"Like a tall knight in shining armor with extra clothes you might say."Skye added refusing to accept what Charlie was saying. He had forgotten how much Skye liked to be involved in other people's personal relationships.

"The point is, I already knew his name. He introduced himself to me while helping me clean up."

"He helped you clean up, hm?"Skye asked with a mischievous grin on her face. Charlie looked at her confused. After all, she already knew what happened with the slushy incident-she was there when it happened.

"Yeah I needed to change shirt and pants, as you can see."

"Charlie no."Quinn mumbled quietly regretting every life decision she had ever made. Newt mirrored her expression and just began whispering no's to Skye.

"So, did you like take your clothes off in front of him?"

"I'm done with you."

"Charlie, bean, I'm sorry!"

"You, miss tumblr,"Newt began and pointed at Skye's direction"need to avoid smut for a while."

"And they say I'm the weird one."Quinn sighed and followed Charlie.

.

"How long does detention last?"

"Five years."

"One hour."

"In dog years."Dan shot back at Charlie. Skye and Charlie just laughed in return as the three of them made their way to physic's class where miss Quill would expect Dan for detention."This woman is going to kill me."

"She can't if there are witnesses around."Charlie tried to comfort him. Of course his word meant nothing, if Quill was to kill him she could get rid of other witnesses. Either because they would be too scared to talk or by killing them too.

"That's Quill we're talking about! She will eat me alive."

"Well then we'll throw you a nice funeral,  we'll even bring Muse."

"I'll be dead! Who cares?"Dan complained.

"But you like death."Skye said and patted his back"It's what you're looking most forward to."

"Yes, a normal death not someone sacrificing me to Satan! Cause this is what Quill will do to me!"

Skye and Charlie continued trying to make Dan feel better but the boy had stopped listening to them. He was too busy trying to find ways to kill himself before Quill had the chance to do it yourself. It wasn't as if she ever liked him, she didn't like anyone for that matter, this would be her perfect chance.

"Last time I checked, I was only expecting Hobbit Hair."Quill began and took a sip from her coffee"Not his annoying group of misfits."

"Good afternoon, miss Quill."Skye greeted.

"It was before you dropped by, miss Howell."miss Quill mumbled"And why are you here, Charles?"

"We were here for Dan--"

"Daniel the spaniel isn't a child, despite acting like one. I'm sure he could have found the classroom just fine."

"Yes, we're sorry."Charlie apologized quietly. Quill always managed to scare everyone. He and Skye said goodbye to Dan and went on their way. Dan sighed and took a seat at the last row. He threw his backpack to the chair next to him and smiled at the blonde teacher.

"So how's life?"

"Unlike yours, mine exists."

"That was rude, miss."

"I'm sorry, I will write you a card and buy you a cupcake."

"With chocolate chips please."at that moment Quill began staring at the stapler in front of her. Probably trying to decide if she could kill someone by throwing a stapler to their head.

"Um, miss Quill?"a sweet voice called from outside. Dan lifted his gaze and glanced at the door where a pale black haired boy stood. Quill groaned in return and the boy made his way inside, he turned to Dan's direction and smiled. Dan didn't return the smile and looked outside instead. Why would the boy smile to him? They didn't know each other.

"Dumb and dumber, I'm going to go to the teacher's office."Quill announced"Howell, you remember how this works. You don't speak, you don't move, you don't do something stupid and you leave in an hour."

Dan just nodded and the teacher was on her way out. Dan flinch at the sound of the door closing but refused to take his eyes away from the window. He liked looking outside and gazing at the sun. The way it showered all their surroundings with golden light.

"Hey."the other boy greeted. Dan simply ignored him."I'm Phil."

"I never asked."

"Yes, I just figured--"

"Whatever."Dan replied. He had no idea where that kid came from but in this place, detention was detention. Not a play date. The boy stopped talking for a while making Dan sigh in relief. 

"So, er, do you come here often?"

"Please someone kill me."

.

About fifty minutes later, Phil finally found the courage to speak to his classmate again. He had realized that he was quite obnoxious and snobbish, but that didn't mean Phil had to be like that. He was raised better than this.

"You know we can't sit in silence forever."

"You don't know that."

"I'm not asking for the story of your life. Just the usual talk to pass the time."

"Detention doesn't pass. It's like Hell but colder."

"It's not that bad."

"That's because Satan isn't around, one thing she likes more than torturing children is coffee."Dan explained before hearing a noise from outside. He would recognize that sound from miles away."Skye you're a life savior!"he exclaimed and grabbed his bag.

"Where are you going? We have like ten minutes left."

"Please, Quill will already be at her house as we speak."

"But detention isn't over."

"So?"Dan asked again and run towards the exit. Phil sighed, he wasn't going to risk getting another detention just to buy off ten minutes. Dan stopped just outside the classroom and turned around."Are you coming or what?"

"I don't want to get in more trouble."

"You won't."

"And why should I trust you?"Dan groaned and left leaving Phil alone in the class. The shorter boy waited for another five minutes before also leaving the class. He put on his jacket and gazed at the sky.

"You bloody idiot."the voice made Phil jump. He turned around and saw Dan leaning against his motorcycle"Not only you didn't left on time, but you didn't left when I told you either. Great way to make my dad."

"What do you want?"

And here's the thing; Dan didn't know what he wanted.

"Dan."  
  
"What?"

"My name's Dan."Dan repeated making Phil smile. The boy awkwardly coughed and handed a helmet to Phil"Come on I'll drive you, Lester."  
  
"Aw you remember my last name?"

"If you push it more, I swear I will kill you. I'm a smart guy and I can make it look like an accident."

 

 


	11. Houston I think we have a problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh darling, you can't fix yourself by breaking someone else.

"Houston,"Newt called Charlie who turned to look at him. The younger boy hadn't even noticed his cousin's arrival, he was too busy observing Matteusz. He had spotted him relatively easy as he was glued to April Maclean's side. Charlie knew April-she was a sweet girl with who he shared some off his classes-but a little shy with strangers. Every time he happened to be talking to her, April would bite her lip, play with her hair and mumble many things. But since Charlie was also a bit socially awkward himself he wouldn't judge her."I think we got a problem."

"What happened?"

"Well, you've been staring the handsome polish guy for like ten minutes--"

"Have not!"

"--and Skye has not make a single comment. Not even a bloody squeal!"at that moment, the two boys looked at Skye who was leaning against a wall and did something on her phone. Charlie raised an eyebrow. This was very unusual for Skye.

"Hey Skye, so Matteusz and I are getting married but I sort of have an affair with a llama."

"Sounds wonderful."Skye mumbled not taking her eyes off the screen. Charlie let out a sigh before Newt spoke up.

"And I'm pregnant."

"That's sad."

"That's it, I give up."Newt breathed and grabbed Skye's phone. The brunette girl was immediately aware of Newt having taken her phone and reacted as soon as possible by stepping on his leg. The poor boy had chosen the wrong day to wear sandals-although according to Brendon every day was a wrong day for sandals. 

"Give me back my phone, you twat!"

"Why do you people keep stepping on me?"Newt cried and bent down to check his foot. Charlie snatched Skye's phone from her hand and looked at it closely. Skye had been paying zero attention to them because she was on MySpace? Even Charlie knew that this website was more dead than Vine.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm doing research."Skye simply stated"Speaking off! I sent you an email with all the info I gathered on Matteusz."

"Yeah and I'm going to delete that later."

"What? Why?"

"For starters, I'm not in love with Matteusz."

"Sure, Jan."

"Secondly, Internet's bad for you."

"Internet is bad for ya."Skye tried to mimic making sure she had a horrible British accent. Charlie ignored the fact that his friend was turning into the human version of Tumblr and continued.

"Last but not least, if I'm ever to approach Matteusz--"

"When you approach Matteusz, you mean."

"If,"Charlie repeated"I would want to get to know him myself."

"But you're awful at stalking someone online."

"I meant, I want to learn with experience and find out important stuff rather than find his third cousin's half brother who is related to Kristen Bell."

"Wait is that true?"Skye questioned and took back her phone.

"No, it's not true! Now will you stop searching about him?"

"Joke's on you because I'm actually googling another guy."

"Skye, for the last time, Tony Stark is married."Newt cut in.

"No, you idiots."Skye argued before typing something on her phone. She smirked to herself and handed the phone to Charlie"So, Dan was in detention yesterday, yeah?"

"Um yes."Charlie answered"Why are you searching up the new kid?"

"Oh! Oh! Let me see!"Newt shout and grabbed the phone."He's cute."

"He was in detention with Dan and when they were done, Mr Howell took him home."Skye explained making Charlie cringe at her smirk. He was too innocent to deal with her and would like to remain that innocent until the end of the year. Something quite hard if he was to hang out with Skye.

"If they did something, please skip the details."Newt told her.

"That's the thing! Dan says that nothing happened-and that he didn't want something to happen-but I don't bite it."

"You read too much fan fiction."

"That's something you can't prove."

"Your entire existence proves it."Newt finally shouted.

.

"Randy Smosh!"Rachel Berry shouted from across the hall. The cheerleader sprinted towards two boys, her smile reaching her ears, and made them slightly shiver from fear. Rachel was, how to put this nicely, intimidating and kind of annoying to most people. But she was still one of the most popular girls in the school so no one would dare to tell her that. The brunette girl crossed her arms and smiled again warmly.

One of the boys, a skinny one who wore a light red scarf, smiled back at her. The boy next to him though, a shorter and a bit chubby one, rolled his eyes at her presence.  Rachel was used to some people not liking her, even if they never said it to her face, it was not her fault that she was popular. People just envied her.

"Ryan."

"What?"

"My name is Ryan Ross."

"Oh yeah right!"Rachel replied"We dated during summer."

"It was three dates, Berry. We weren't official."

"Yeah whatever, we got a party on Friday. Kitty Wilde's place, you know it right?"

"I don't live under a rock, you know."Ryan shot back"Plus I think I did it with a hot girl in Kitty's bedroom in the last party."

"Yeah that was Kitty actually, oh better watch out this time because I don't want to witness you having sex ever again. Anyways, we're inviting everyone so you better bring some cute guys. And girls."she finished and winked.

"Got it, Rach. And you know we could always--"

"I like someone else, Ross."

"Worth the try."

"Oh and bring your little friend too."she added as she looked at the boy next to Ryan"He's cute, not my type but we could arrange something."

Ryan nodded and Rachel went on her way. As soon as she was gone, Ryan's friend slapped his arm. The boy yelped and glared at him."What the fuck Patrick?"

"You're a man slut."

"Wow, Pat, just because I'm bisexual doesn't me--"Ryan began but Patrick cut him off.

"No, bisexuals are wonderful. It's just you that you're a whore."

Ryan scoffed. Patrick was being ridiculous. What if Ryan had fooled around with almost the entire school and some kids from HYDRA and WCKD  Academy? What if sometimes he had done that while being on a relationship with someone? Okay maybe, just maybe, he saw Patrick's point. But this was still Ryan's life and he could do whatever he liked.

"You're not my babysitter."

"Well since Spencer is in the library and Jon's in arts class, I am officially the third in line to babysit you."

"Why is Jon second? He once killed his pet canary."

"Spencer has a soft spot for him and he's the first in line."Patrick explained"But back to my point, you're a slut. And what if you get married one day, huh? What if you keep doing that even after that? I can already imagine it! Spencer and I will have to stop a bridesmaid from blurting out how the poor bride's groom is a man slut."

"That won't happen."

"How do you know?"

"Well for starters, I'm not getting married."

"So you're adopting seven cats? You know I don't like cats."

"I'm not--"

"Excuse me."the two boys turned around to see Brendon awkwardly standing in front of them while running his hand through his hair. Ryan slightly shoved Patrick away, who just gave up and accepted that one of his best friends was a fuckboy, and smiled at Brendon. He quickly straighten his shoulders and tried to be as charming as possible. He was sure that he hadn't seen him around, he would remember a good looking guy like him, so that meant a new fish in the pond. A new handsome fish in the pond. Perfect.

"Hey."

"Um, hello."Brendon laughed with discomfort to which Ryan chuckled. Getting with this one would be easier than getting in trouble in miss Quill's class."I'm sorry, I haven't really done this before."

"It's okay, so what can I do for you?"Ryan asked still studying the boy.

"It's awkward and somewhat straightforward but--"

"I get that a lot."

"You've been standing in front of my locker for like ten minutes and I really need to get to Mrs May's class."

Okay, maybe not a easy as getting in trouble in miss Quill's class.

.

"Oh no."

"What?"

"Red alert."

"I have no idea what this means--hey babe."Grant quickly greeted Kara. He leaned closer to kiss her but instead the shorter girl slapped him hard across his cheek. Noah Puckerman who stood next to him tried to hide his surprise. If he had one pound for every time Kara and Grant fought, he wouldn't be here but on a yacht. 

"Puckerman out."

"This is the guys' locker so I'm not sure how this will work out."

"Do it now or I swear when I'm done with you, you will never be able to reproduce."

"It was nice meeting you, mate."Noah said and patted Grant's back as a goodbye. Grant smiled at his girlfriend to calm her down but Kara continued glaring him. If looks could kill, he would have been dead three times.

"Look if this is about Melanie--"

"You made out with Hayley in the bathroom?"she yelled at the same time as Grant spoke. Kara paused and groaned"You did it with Melanie too?"

"Actually, I've never been in the bathroom with Hayley."

"Thank God."

"I've been in the bathroom with Marina--ouch."

"You cheating bastard!"

"Kara, love please--"

"I'm done with you."she whispered. Grant's gaze immediately soften and he tried to hold her hand."We're done."

"Kara, you can't do this. Not right now, it's our last year."he began"And our families are working together you can--"

"I don't give a damn."

And just like that Grant was alone, left to deal not only with his own emotional trauma but with telling his parents too. His parents who adored Kara with all their hearts-both because she was a good girl but because of her family too. He was a dead man.

.

"Guess who made cupcakes?"

"Yes! I'm starving!"Brendon exclaimed while grabbing Quinn's bag and sitting on their table. Quinn laughed in return and took a seat between Newt and Dan. Newt smiled and took a cupcake from the red box inside Quinn's bag."Slo,"Brendon began with his mouth stuffed"Thly thes ou meth a clute both."

"In english please."

"Skye said you met a cute boy."

"Did not."

"Fair point,"Brendon began and stood up"Excuse me, hungry people! Can Phil Lester please raise his hand?"

"Brendon what the fuck?"Dan questioned in a high pitched voice. He wondered if assaulting and probably murdering his friend was worth going to jail. Phil, who sat in another table near the window with Chris Kendall and Oli White, raised his hand confused. Brendon looked at him from head to toe before glancing at Quinn and then back at Phil.

"You are very cute, Philip!"he shout"Thank you."

"I want death."Dan mumbled.

"You always want death."Newt argued.

"I'm cute too!"a voice shout and the four friends looked at the table across them. Brendon's gaze met a smirking Ryan Ross and he instantly regretted all his life decisions.

"I never said you weren't."

"Yes, but I'm saying it."Dan shot back at Ryan. The boy looked at his friend and turned to Ryan with a glare"Not for you, Ross."

"Hey, I was handling it just fine."Brendon complained when Ryan continued eating his food.

"Dan is right, Bren, Ross is one of the kids we should avoid."Quinn explained to which Brendon frown. After all, he wasn't doing anything wrong. He wasn't planning on doing anything wrong either. But he decided not to push it as he saw Charlie and Skye entering the cafeteria. Skye was holding a cup, whether it was tea or coffee, Brendon had noticed that she already had drunk three of these cups. That couldn't be good.

The pair began walking when Kara and Skye bumped into each other. Quinn immediately tensed, unlike Brendon and Newt who had no idea of the little feud between the girls, and tapped Dan's shoulder.

"That was my lunch."Kara stated looking at the fallen tray.

"You bumped into me."even Charlie had realized that this wasn't going to end well, so he slowly tried to bring Skye back. But the girl was stronger and remained in her position.

.

"I bet you're drunk."

"Excuse me?"

The voices had now become too loud for anyone not to notice, Grant turned around with Puck to watch Kara and another girl fighting. Grant wasn't sure if he had seen her before, she looked familiar but at the same time not really. 

"That's Mary Sue."Zoe Sugg said as if she had read his mind"You really need to start remembering other people's names."

"That's why you're always with a cup on your hand."Kara mocked"You're probably an alcoholic just like your precious selfish brother who just desperately needs more than one glass of--"and that was it, by the time the words had left Kara's mouth Mary Sue had slapped her.

"You bitch!"Kara yelled as Lance Hunter got up and grabbed her before she had the chance to attack Mary. Meanwhile Mary's friend also took her to a table to sit and calm down. In a matter of seconds, Kara had come to their table and began ranting about the fight.

"I'm going to bury Mary Sue to the ground."

"If you do that better learn her name first,"Antoine Triplett laughed"cause it's not Mary whatever, it's Skye."

 


	12. Just don't get attached to somebody you could lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is broken because she believed and he is okay because he lied.

"Good morning."

"Ah, now you remembered us?"

"Who said I had forgotten about you?"Quinn questioned as she made her way to school. Ryder who stood by her side with a half opened backpack scoffed in reply. Meanwhile Marley smiled at Quinn sadly.

"What Ryder means is that you haven't paid any attention to us this week. You're always hanging out with these weirdos."

"These weirdos are my friends."Quinn tried to defend.

"Since when?"

"Since forever."

"And where were they in your sweet sixteen? Or when you had that surgery because you twisted your ankle? Or during your first heartbreak?"Ryder asked her angrily"Or hey, when your parents got divorce and you stayed up late blaming yourself?"

"They couldn't be there, they had their own problems."

"Real friends always have time for you, Quinny. Even if there's a zombie apocalypse happening right outside the window."Marley argued"We are your real friends. We were there during your worst and best moments."

Oh Quinn would love to be able to defend her childhood friends but both Ryder and Marley were right in a way. Once Newt and Brendon left, Dan and Skye did not stick around. Then Charlie's parents were killed and while some people would cry on a friend's shoulder Charlie preferred solitude. She was hurt, that was true, he didn't talked to her about it. She had to learn about the tragedy that struck the Smiths when the funeral happened. One entire week later.

Her then best friend-the only friend she at left at that point-did not tell her about his parents dying. What was she supposed to believe after? Yet she couldn't find it in her heart to hate or blame him. Instead she blamed herself for being such a lousy friend  that Charlie couldn't talk to her.

"Newt and Brendon were away."Quinn shot back as she entered the school"Charlie lost his parents, Skye feared that she would find herself back in the orphanage and Dan struggled to keep himself from falling apart. They couldn't be with me all day and babysit."

"It's not babysitting. It's caring for your friends."Marley stated and took a long pause letting Quinn sigh in relief. Perhaps the nagging was finally over and she could focus on more important things. Like studying history because she was almost certain that Mr Coulson would make them take a quiz."Either way, what now? You'll just act as if the past few years did not happen?"

"Let it go."

"We aren't letting it go."Ryder told her when he accidentally almost fell on top of one of her classmates. Quinn smiled apologetically at the jock-who luckily was still standing and mustn't have noticed Ryder-and mumbled some apologies along with a cheap excuse that her friend was very clumsy."Quinn, we're talking to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you."

"Why do you think they're back? Did they even tell you?"

"They can tell me when they're ready, I'm not going to push further--"Quinn began feeling her heart beating faster with every word.

"It's a friendship of convenience. They just know that no matter how much they hurt you, you're always come running back because no one else will want to be with you. Nothing's changed-you're still as much as an outcast as you were back then!Why are you keep getting attached to people that you will lose?"By then, Quinn was already on the verge of tears. Marley and Ryder were never like that, they never yelled at her, they had never made her cry. She wondered that change.

"Stop!"she shouts and she swears that the entire school turns to look at her. No one talks, no one rushes to check if she's okay and even Marley and Ryder are long gone by the time the tears stream down her face. For just a moment she forgets how to breathe.

"Quinn?"Brendon is confused, to say at least, and time has passed so fast with them. He has never seen her like this before. He has never seen her break and if he was being honest, he had never seen anyone break in front of him. Quinn doesn't answer, instead she hugs him tight and cries.

He should have remembered to get his happy pills.

.

"And yeah, the party's going to be awesome."

"Aha, the boys were talking about earlier."

"So that means you're going right?"

"Obviously."Finn chuckled making Rachel's heartbeat become faster. In her life, Rachel want many things and like her brother said-probably the only correct thing he had said in his entire life-what Rachel Berry wanted she would get. So what did Rachel want now? Well, the same thing she have been craving for the past three years. Or if I'm being more correct the same person.

Today, Rachel gathered the courage to come clean to Finn. She was finally sure that she was in love with him. True, she had made countless relationships and snogged many guys(and one girl but both her and Santana were very drunk)but Finn was her soulmate. She was a cheerleader and he was a jock, it made sense. She was sure they had other things in common too but this one was the most important.

"Great! Er, I wanted to actually--"

"Yeah, yeah it was great talking to you, Rach but I have to go."and with that, Finn rushed at the hall's end where Kara and two of her friends stood. 

"Yeah sure."she whispered sadly but Finn was already long gone. 

"Next time, I'll bring popcorn."Noah laughed. Sometimes Rachel wanted to punch him, but everyone knew that this was a fight she wouldn't win."Don't even bother, now that Ward and Kara called it quits, Finn is all over her."

"So? What does she have that I don't?"

"She's less bossy. Lets start with that."

"You haven't seen her in cheer-leading practice then."Rachel began and turned to face her older brother"I don't get it. I'm pretty, popular, rich and the most talented person in this whole world."

"Humble. Don't forget humble."

"Why doesn't he like me?"

"Maybe you aren't as much as a womanizer as you think. Not like your handsome brother, at least."Noah chuckled and winked at some girls who continued walking and giggling. Rachel rolled her eyes. It was so unfair, Noah never had to deal with being rejected. He was like a robot-unable to ever fall in love with another human being. Sometimes Rachel wished she was like that.

"That's not true. Apart from Finn, I have never been rejected."

"Yes but Finn has rejected you awfully many times."

"If you were a girl, he would have rejected you too."

"I would love to be able to prove you wrong but Finn's one of my best mates and I can't suddenly start hitting on him."

"You know I'm right."

"You aren't. And you know what?"Noah argued and paused. Noah's lips turned into an evil smirk which caused Rachel to raise an eyebrow at him skeptically."I'm going to prove it to you."

"You're going to throw yourself at Finn?"

"No, ew."Noah grimaced"We're going to choose one person, someone neither of us knows-so Santana is a no-and the first of us who reaches fourth base with them is the biggest flirt."

"And why would I waste my precious time just to prove to you what you already know?"

"Because if you win, I'll expect my defeat"Rachel snorted"and I'll play matchmaker for you and Hudson."

Rachel  thought about it for a while. Could she really win the bet? Could she take advantage of someone's feelings just to win a stupid bet? Well, yes. If winning this stupid bet was her ticket to getting together with Finn, then she would do it.

"And if I lose?"

"You will have to wear a t-shirt with my face for the entire summer."

"Deal."Rachel smiled"But who is the lucky person?"

.

"Your assignment was fairly good."

"It has a B on it."Matteusz stated confused. He wasn't obsessed with having good marks or anything but he had worked his ass for this specific assignment and he was certain that he deserved an A. Especially since half of the stuff miss Quill taught them were not in their books.

"Which is fairly good. You're not a qualified teacher last time I checked."

"Yes but--"

"Quill."

"It's miss Quill for you, Charles."Quill sneered at the blonde boy. Matteusz turned immediately around at the sound of the boy's voice. Last time he had seen Charlie from that close was when he had helped him clean up. After then Charlie seemed to avoid him. Something quite ridiculous because Matteusz had been very kind to him."Why are you wasting my time again?"

"I'm helping Dan with a project after school so I won't come home for lunch."

"Wow, an afternoon without you. How will I survive without your presence?"

Matteusz continued looking at Charlie before glancing at Quill. Of course his friends had mentioned that Quill and Charlie were related but Matteusz never thought they would live together. Let alone that she would be so cold hearted even to her own blood. Moreover, Charlie looked like a sweet guy and he shouldn't be treated like this.

"Well--"

"Miss Quill! Oh thank God I found you!"Matteusz looked at the door and saw a brunette girl. He recognized her from his first day at the school and identified her as one of Charlie's friends. In fact, he was sure that she was the one who stood up for him that day at the cafeteria. Charlie looked at her with worry and looked kind of...stressed. Why was his friend making him anxious?

"Miss Howell, I have work to do--"

"But you don't understand!"she cried a bit too dramatically and kindly shoved Matteusz towards the exit by Charlie's side"I need to talk to you in private."

"Can't it wait?"she asked gesturing towards Matteusz's side.

"I'm pregnant!"

"What?"Charlie asked in a high pitched voice.

"I don't think this is my job--"

"Please, miss Quill!"she cried and literally wrapped her arms around the teacher. She then turned to Charlie, whose mouth was hanging open, and Matteusz"This might take a while, why don't you wait outside and talk about life and stuff?"

"Skye, I swear--"Charlie tried to say but was cut off by Skye's crying.

"I'm not ready to be a mum!"she cried harder and closed the door to Matteusz's and Charlie's faces.

"She doesn't look very pregnant."Matteusz whispered.

"Oh she is. Pregnant with fan fiction ideas."

"What?"

"Nothing, er don't mind her. She's a bit too dramatic."

"I noticed."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Okay, maybe it was better when Charlie was avoiding him. And perhaps it would have been better if he had thought of some things to say in case such a scenario happened. Sure he couldn't have foreseen a teen pregnancy-or whatever that was-but he was eventually bound to see Charlie again.

"The weather's nice."

He was officially an idiot.

"It's going to rain, though."Charlie answered making Matteusz's smile drop. At that move, Charlie immediately tried to smile"But I like rain so yeah it's nice.'

"I also like rain."

"Good, rain's nice."

"Yeah, it is."he whispered"Er, I need to go now but um, it was nice seeing you again."

"You too."

"Bye."Matteusz smiled and went on his way. Charlie leaned against the wall and sighed as Skye opened the door to miss Quill's office and glared at him.

"You're an idiot."

"You told Quill you're pregnant."

"Never judge a fangirl, Charles. Never."

 

 


	13. Sure you wanna play this game?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm hard on myself. But isn't it better to be honest about these things before someone else can use them against you? Before someone else can break your heart? Isn't it better to break it yourself?

"So, I know you do that a lot but what are you staring again?"Patrick questioned catching both Ryan's and Spencer's attention. The last shrugged knowing Ryan and how he often got himself lost in anything but school. Ryan glanced at Patrick but still did not answer, instead he kept his eyes focused on the boy standing outside Math class.

"Are you looking at the void or at Brendon Urie?"Spencer asked clearly catching him off guard. Brendon? Who the hell was Brendon? And what kind of last name was Urie?

"Who is--"

"Big forehead. Perfect hair, kind of clumsy."Spencer said"He's new here."

"Brendon."Ryan repeated. The name slipped from his lips easily like a lie. Maybe it was, perhaps Brendon was under witness protection  program after witnessing the slaughter of his family by the mafia. Okay certainly not that because this was plain old London and he still remained the dull yet very attractive-his words-George Ryan Ross III whose name very much remind people of royalty.

"This isn't going to end well."Patrick mumbled before turning to Spencer"Are you friends with him?"

"We sit together at History class so I wouldn't exactly call it a friendship. He's cool though."

"Well say goodbye to that possible future friendship."

.

"We just need a name."

"Boy or a girl."

"But not someone we know too well."

"Aha and whose idea was to come to me? Actually whose idea is to always come to me during your fights?"Grant sighed after closing his locker and grabbing a notebook"I have more important stuff to deal with than the Puckerman family drama."

"Puckerman-Berry."Rachel corrected"Rachel Puckerman just sounds wrong."

"Your entire existence sounds wrong."

"You fu--"

"Can both of you be quiet for just one second?"Grant complained and scanned the hall"Look you want me to pick someone? Fine. This girl over there."

"Oh, a new girl."Noah smirked while Rachel frowned.

"No, that's actually Quinn Fabray-before you say anything it was Bobbi that knew her and not me-and she's been in the same school as us since the beginning."

"That doesn't sound so hard."Rachel chuckled"She's not my type, like at all, but she isn't much of a challenge."

"Yeah only she had a mental breakdown yesterday."Grant laughed before patting the backs of the siblings"She's barmy."

Rachel ignored his comment and looked at the blonde girl. She didn't seem crazy, on the contrast, she seemed sweet and kind. She looked naive. This would be like stealing a candy from a baby.

.

"Dan!"

...

"Daniel!"

...

"Daniel the spaniel!"

"If the next thing you'll call me is DJ Howell, I swear I will bloody murder you and throw you to the sea."

"I'm sorry."

"What do you want?"Phil's smile dropped for some seconds. Dan could be harsh and blunt sometimes-as Skye reminded him daily-but that was just him. He didn't see why he needed to be kind with Phil, or anyone for that matter, except his friends. Trying to be a walking ray of sunshine like Phil seemed only a waste of time.

"Kitty Wilde is throwing a party."

"And you're telling me that because..."

"I-I, well, are you going?"

"I wasn't planning on going."

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"It's nothing, I just, um--"

"Can we get over with it before I turn thirty?"

"Well--"

"Dan!"Brendon came sprinting towards the taller boy not paying any attention to Phil. After catching his breathe, he finally took notice of Phil awkwardly standing across Dan."Oh! Phil Lester!"

"Um hi, I don't think we've met."

"True but I feel as if I know you already."he said and winked at Dan making the boy groan. Dan was certain that he hadn't spoken fondly of Phil so he couldn't quite understand why Brendon was sharing his sister's thoughts on the entire _I think Dan likes Phil_ conspiracy theory."I'm Brendon Urie."

"And Brendon was just leaving."

"I literally just got here."the boy argued"Well Philip I have something very important to tell Dan but maybe you could join us in our table and you two can finish your talk."

"Er, I usually sit with my friends but okay."Phil agreed.

"Do I even get a saying to this?"

"Nope. Otherwise Skye would kill me."

.

The first week of school was surprising a success for Matteusz. His teachers were nice-minus a few that could kill him in his sleep-his classmates were also fairly kind, he had gotten himself three friends and even had a crush. At least that was the only way Matteusz thought he could refer to his relationship with Charlie. A crush.

Speaking of Charlie, he didn't really talk to Matteusz. Yesterday they had an awkward conversation about the weather and Matteusz was certain Charlie was avoiding him. Or maybe it was the other way around, he couldn't really decide. Not that he particularly minded observing the blonde boy from afar. It was better that way.

"Are you okay? You've been playing with your food for ten minutes."Tanya noticed. Matteusz smiled in return, Tanya was a sweet girl overall but Matteusz still wasn't sure if he could trust her for that matter. He wasn't sure if he could trust anyone with _that_.

"You won't believe what happened to me."April exclaimed with happiness before sitting between across Tanya next to Ram.

"If it's a folk music festival like the last time, I swear I will--"

"No, it's not."April told Tanya"It's about Charlie."

Matteusz immediately felt a smile forming on his lips while the smile Ram had earlier faded and a dull expression appeared instead. Matteusz didn't know exactly why Ram didn't like Charlie, he was usually okay if Tanya or he mentioned him but every time April was to mention her crush Ram would be ready to fight someone. Probably Charlie but since he wasn't available, Ram was left just being cranky for the rest of the day.

"He came and sat next to me in music class."

"Better prepare the wedding dress."Ram replied bitterly.

April ignored him and continued"He asked me if I'm going to Kitty's party."

"Wait for real?"

"Well technically he asked if our group was going to the party but it's practically the same thing."

Matteusz cleared his throat and excused himself. He wasn't comfortable with April talking about Charlie. Then again she had every right to do it. It wasn't as if she knew about his crush on the same boy. At the end of the day, he didn't even know if Charlie was gay. Matteusz was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice bumping into Charlie until they were only inches apart and Matteusz's bag had fallen to the floor.

"Um, we should stop meeting like this."Charlie mumbled, Matteusz nodded having lost his words and glanced at the boy next to Charlie."Newt this is Matteusz, Matteusz this is Newt."

"Hi."the boy greeted. He was about the same height as Charlie, a bit feminine at least that was what Matteusz thought of his clothes and Matteusz was certain he had seen him when he first met Charlie.

"Hello."

"Um, I'm gonna go find the others. We'll  talk later."Charlie waved Newt goodbye and turned to Matteusz.

"So"

"So..."

"Um, I talked to April. She said you're going to Kitty's party, right?"

"I'm not really sure. I haven't talked to my parents about it."Matteusz explained"Are you?"

"I don't know either. I was with my friend"he began and looked at a blonde girl next to Newt"and Noah Puckerman told us that we should go."

"That's great."

"Yeah. I, hm, I hope I see you there."

"You too."with that Charlie was on his way and Matteusz was left cursing himself. You too? He had just taken their conversations to an entire new awkwardness level.

.

"I'm almost certain that when we first had a group table we agreed to not let random people come and sit with us. Obviously this thought flew out the window."Quinn mumbled and glared at the two newcomers."The new guy I understand, he seems sweet."

"Thanks."Phil smiled proudly.

"But why is George here?"

"My name is Ryan."

"Is it though? Is it?"

"I sort of agree with Quinn on this, why are these two here?"Charlie asked.

"Apparently since Marlie isn't sailing, Phan shall take its place."both Dan and Phil looked at Skye confused meanwhile the girl just smiled and winked. Oh, Dan knew very well what that meant."I still don't know why Ross is here."

"Here let me explain. So for starters, Noah Puckerman invited Quinn and Charlie-and probably the rest of us because he told them to bring their friends too-to some kind of party."Brendon stated.

"Not any party. Kitty Wilde's party. These things always get wild. One time a guy jumped from her bedroom's window and began running naked after her parents caught them doing it."Quinn added clearly horrified. Ryan tried to hide his smile-of course he failed miserably because as soon as a small chuckle escape his lips Brendon frowned.

"Still there will be plenty of drinking and some ships might set sail."Skye continued and winked at Charlie. Phil felt Dan tensing beside him, the brunette boy was tapping his fingers underneath the table and avoided looking at the others. Yet no one except Phil seemed to notice.

"Okay so we're going to the party, that's good. Moving on to why Ryan is here."

"Hey I thought I was here because I've charmed you!"

"I'm straight."

"So is spaghetti before it gets wet."Ryan grinned.

Quinn glanced at Charlie for a fair amount of time in terror while Newt closed his ears. Dan and Phil were also traumatized for life while Skye laughed her ass off. Brendon just stared at him not amused."Anywhore,"

"It's any who."Ryan corrected.

"Not in  your case. As I was saying, Ryan who decided to formally introduce himself today and once he had already tried to use a horrible pick up line on me--"

"You'll be the Good, I'll be the Bad and we can both do something Dirty."Ryan announced proudly.

"A _really horrible_ pick up line, he also let it slip that someone asked him about Skye."

"Why would they ask you?"

"Well, he couldn't really ask someone else for that info."Ryan told her.

"Obviously. Who knows more things than you?"Dan asked with irritation. He never liked Ryan, he never saw why people would like him. This guy meant bad news and Dan didn't want him near his friends.

"No one but that didn't really have to do with Mary Sue. At least at first."

Skye clenched her fist"It's Skye, _George_."

"Kara Palamas broke up with Grant Ward."Ryan continued completely ignoring her"You know how boys can get when girls break their heart. She wounded his ego."

"God knows he has lots of it."Skye replied.

"Well he wants to hurt her back."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"You're literally at top of Kara's black list right now. Make your own assumptions about why the Coal Hill golden boy asks about you."Ryan smirked"Keep in mind that when a man's ego is hurt, he loses his morals."

"You must be hurt twice a week."Quinn mumbled, Brendon shook his head towards her direction and she continued eating. Ryan was surprised, to say at least, he didn't really expect Brendon to stick up for him even in silence.

"What you're trying to say is that he wants to use me to get back at his evil girlfriend?"Skye asked even if she didn't expect an answer. She could laugh at the stupidity of that plan which looked as if it had gotten out of a tumblr writing prompt."Why didn't he just ask for my help?"

"Like I said, she wounded his ego. And what's a better way to heal your wounded ego than breaking two hearts with one stone?"

"I don't think this is the right expression."Newt whispered.

"A typical white boy."Skye murmured making the boys of the group look at her ready to complain. The girl just shook her head"I meant a typical _straight_ white boy."

"Hey!"both Dan and Brendon complained.

Skye almost choked herself at that comment while Newt and Charlie giggled"Sure Jan."

"This is bullying."Dan mumbled"Anyway, what are you going to do?"

"Oh me? I'm going to play a game."Skye replied grinning while Dan just sighed and decided to walk Phil to his table instead of listening to Skye's crazy master plans. Quinn let out a sigh and continued eating while Newt and Charlie began talking for something irrelevant.

"Well, I'm gonna go too."Ryan announced and got up"See you at the party, Bren."

Brendon rolled his eyes and turned his attention to his phone. Dan returned to the table shortly after and explained to the group how Phil had asked him to drive him at the party tomorrow-because his friends would be there quite early and he didn't know the address(at least that was what he told Dan)-while Skye just glared at everybody.

"Is no one going to ask me what my plan is?"

"Nope."Charlie quipped in"We already know that it's going to end badly."

"Seriously you almost got detention yesterday because of your little _game_."Quinn added.

"I expected more than a fake pregnancy to be honest."Newt told her.

"Screw you all, being a fangirl is a hard job."  
  


 


	14. We can go so far if she let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad decisions make better memories

"I'm not saying that I don't like parties."

"However?"

"Well, I really don't like parties."Brendon snorted at Quinn's comment and handed her a pair of black heels. In all honesty, Brendon wasn't a fan of parties either, he could never really agree with what they represented. Parties were wild gatherings full of booze, drugs, very emotional people and coincidentally every person one wanted to avoid. For a while, he avoided them just fine but from a certain point he couldn't help feeling guilty when he wouldn't join Gerard, Ashley and Sarah in a party. After that he just had to go, drink until his head start buzzing and wait for the voices in his head telling him that he didn't belong there to stop.

So when the group decided to go to Kitty Wilde's party, Brendon did not really care. Literally. He just put on his jeans and an oversized LEMONADE jumper and drove to Quinn's house. Speaking of Quinn, she was obviously not very calm about going to the party. It didn't really make much sense to Brendon, unless....

"Is this your first party?"

"What? No! Of course not. I'm a senior, that's, this is absurd."

"You're a party virgin!"

"I'm certain that this is not a common phrase."Quinn quipped in"And stop acting as if I just confess that I'm a real virgin."

"You aren't?"

"Oh shut up."Quinn mumbled and got in the bathroom to change. Brendon laughed before leaning against the bathroom door.

"Hey, ballerina?"

"What, you whore?"

"Have you at least lost your kiss virginity?"

"Blocked."

"This is real life."the boy laughed and fell to the floor. The sound of a car engine echoed from outside making Brendon get up. The boy fixed his shirt and shout at Quinn to hurry. In a matter of minutes, Quinn managed to get ready and get out. The girl made a quick turn and glanced over at Brendon.

"How do I look?"the boy studied her closely. She wore a short black lathered dress with sleeves made of  silk and the black heels he had handed to her earlier. She had her hair braided but you couldn't quite tell because of a really bit coat she was wearing.

"Overdressed."he said and walked up to her closet. He grabbed a shorter high waist-ed black jacket and handed it to her."Try this."

Quinn nodded and put it on."My back is showing."

"Tragic."

"Everyone is going to look at me. The dress is already short enough-oh God the dress! My legs are awful, everyone will think--"

"We're here! God, we've been waiting for hours."Dan announced with a hint of irritation as he stepped inside. He was more well dressed than Brendon with a green shirt and extremely tight black jeans-apparently Dan never got over his emo phase-Skye, Charlie and Newt stood behind him."You two look great, loving the black."

"Obviously."Skye added and walked in front"How do I look?"

Quinn looked at Skye's white dress and smiled"Sophisticated."

"But also kind of hot."

"That was my goal!"

"I'm dressed nicely too!"Charlie exclaimed and pointed at his own clothes"I put extra effort on it."

"I wonder why...."Skye grinned to herself.

"You all look great."Quinn chuckled and turned to Newt who chose to stay behind."What did you wear, Newtie?"

Newt smiled sadly as Charlie shook his head."We had a small problem before we reached here."

"Oh no, the only person who has a problem is that idiot from WCKD Academy."Dan shot back and grabbed Newt's hand. As Skye moved behind, Brendon and Quinn finally managed to see Newt....with a dress. He looked pretty, that were the first thoughts on both of their minds, he was just a boy in a dress. Moreover, Newt always liked feminine clothes so they couldn't really understand what was the problem.

"I don't understand."

"A guy was just being an idiot."Newt whispered with his voice breaking at the end.

"Idiot? Oh no. He called Newt a she-man freak. That's not stupidity, that's prejudice."Dan shot back angrily."That guy isn't an idiot, he's just a petty asshole."

"Dan's right,"Quinn smiled at Newt"You look beautiful, Newt. These assholes wouldn't recognize beauty even if it hit them in the face."

Newt smiled and nodded. Skye clapped her hands excitedly"Come on people, we have a party to attend."

"We also need to pick up Phil."

"I haven't forgotten about your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Sure!"Skye shout and began walking down the stairs. Dan had already began arguing with her while Charlie and Newt were laughing in the back round. Brendon also laughed slightly and looked at Quinn.

"I liked how you handle that."he whispered with a proud smile. Quinn was never a confident person and just like the rest of the group, she sometimes undervalued herself. The fact that she was so supportive with Newt made Brendon proud of her development.

"He's beautiful. He really is."she smiled"And you know what?"she stopped in front of the car and smiled even brighter"So am I. Whether they like it or not."

"That's my best friend everyone."

.

_"Wakin' up in someone else's bed was what I was waitin' for oh my days what have I done, she saw me sneaking out the door, what have I been waiting for been wasting all my time, watching my youth slip away surely is a crime--"_

"Please make her stop."Brendon cried but Skye simply flipped him off and continued singing at the top of her lungs behind him.

_"And no, she don't know what we do in our spare time, no she don't know what we've been up all night, all night, all night, all niiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhtttttttt"_

"I will purposely drive right into that tree, I swear."

_"We go on and on and on and on and on never knowing where, never knowing where we gonna, we gonna, we gonna end up in the morning."_

Brendon cursed as Dan smacked his sister's head. Skye groaned in pain while Brendon finally managed to relax without Skye's voice in his head. They had almost reached Phil's house when he heard that song again.

_"We go on and on and on and on and on never knowing where, never knowing where  
we gonna, we gonna, we gonna end up in the morning!"_

"Charlie!"

"What? It's a catchy song."

"We're here!"Dan shout and got outside. Skye was ready to follow him but Brendon locked her door.

"Hey!"

"Dan told us we shouldn't let you humiliate him."Newt explained from the back of the car. Skye turned to look at Brendon at the driver's seat and frowned.

"If someone can make him uncomfortable, it's Brendon."

"Hey rude!"

"Oh he opened the door!"Quinn shout and looked outside the window. Skye jumped almost hitting her head and looked outside Quinn's window. The two girls saw Dan talking with Phil, who was also dressed casually but with brighter colors than Dan, and the two of them smiling.

"I've taught him well."Skye whispered"My child is growing up."

"What do you think they're talking about?"Charlie questioned.

"How many kids they want and where they'll go for their honeymoon."

.

"We've been here for an hour."

"Forty six minutes actually."

"You had like two beers."

"Five, three when you were not looking."

"Of course she'd do that."Ram mumbled after handing Matteusz an empty cup of water. He kneeled  beside April and held her hair higher while she threw up"She knows she can't handle drinking. Which is why I don't understand why you're such an idiot."

"I'm usually the smart one."April whispered weakly before burring her face in the toilet again.

"Isn't Tanya the smart one?"

"She never comes to parties so April replaces her."

"She's doing a horrible job at it."

"I'm aware!"Ram shout trying to keep himself for throwing up at the sight of April throwing up."We should take you home."

"M' fine."April told him and got to her feet"Promise."

Ram glanced at Matteusz still skeptical but decided to nod. April probably knew what she was doing. The two of them helped her and left the bathroom. Even if the party had started just two hours ago, the entire scenery was already loud and crowded. Matteusz then decided to go to the table to grab some water for April as she had started looking pale again. He went through lots of people awkwardly dancing with their hands and feet, sweating bodies on one another and finally made his way to the table with the drinks.

"Matteusz hey."

_Fuck_


	15. I'm gonna party like it's my civil right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Take more chances. Dance more dances.

"Who will drive us back?"

"I don't know, the guy with the car."

"No, no, no, no, no, no--"

"Brendon!"

"And no."Brendon finish and shut Skye up by putting his finger on her lips"I'm going to get drunk. The first week of school has been tough. Plus you all have licenses."

"I don't."Charlie blurted out happily. Not that he was planning on getting drunk tonight but he still wanted to be able to drink just in case something happened. Maybe if he drank a little, his conversations with Matteusz wouldn't be so awkward. Perhaps he could actually talk to him without making a fool of himself. Although he could avoid that just fine if he stayed away from Skye for the entire night.

"Okay what about Dan?"Brendon asked his gaze falling upon the other boy. Dan froze to his spot and turned to Skye for help. He couldn't let his friend depend on him not to drink. Sure, the last time he had a cocktail or two-actually it was six but who kept count-was exactly four days ago and even if Dan had promised to himself not to drink at the party he knew he eventually would. As soon as Skye would find herself occupied with something else, a cold beer would find its place in his hand.

"I don't think that's a good idea."Skye said without realizing how high pitched her voice had come out. Brendon shot her a puzzled and questioning look. What was she supposed to say? Hey, do you remember that Dan drinks more alcohol than water and you really shouldn't rely on an alcoholic to remain sober at a party?

"I can stay sober."Newt announced to change the subject. Skye sighed with relief while Dan looked away sadly. So Newt probably knew about his small problem-that was amazing-he must have been thrilled when he found out that one of his best friends is a drunkard."I don't like drinking so it won't make much of a difference."

"Great! Now that that's settled you need to remember,"Skye began as the group-and Phil who looked like a fish out of water and chose to remain as close to Dan as possible-entered the Wilde's property."no matter what you see, we shall not--"

"Oh I see my friends!"Phil stated with excitement and took Dan's hand"Come on I'll introduce you."

"--split up."By the time Skye had finished her sentence, both Dan and Phil were lost in the crowd. Skye frowned a bit but then she realized that if that meant that her ship would spent more time together it was worth it. She smiled proudly and turn to the others."We are not splitting up."

"Hey, isn't that the guy Charlie is crushing on?"

"I'm not crushing on anyone."

"Okay correction, isn't that the guy Charlie is totally crushing on but claims he doesn't?"Brendon smirked making both Charlie and Skye look at his direction.

"You heard her, no splitting up."

"Yeah except when it's a matter of a heart."Skye argued with Charlie"Now go! Make your best drunk mistake!"

"I'm sober, though?"

"You get the idea, you idiot. Now go!"she repeated and shoved him away. After Charlie had reached the table with the drinks, Skye turned to the group and clapped"Ladies, it's party time and I feel like dancing."

"I'm right here. A male."Brendon mumbled.

"White guys."

"Creating a tumblr account was a big mistake."

"Not bigger than letting Charlie have Instagram."

"I still have the nightmares."Quinn grimaced a faint memory of the disaster coming back to her mind. In the list of stupid ideas Skye had, learning ten year old Charlie how to set up an Instagram account was at the top three.

.

"You're here. I, er, I mean of course you're here. In the flesh. Standing right in front of me, obviously."Matteusz mumbled to himself after Charlie had-well the boy had literally just greeted him but anyways"So you came."

"Aha, you came too."

"Yeah."Matteusz replied uncertain of what he was supposed to say next. How did normal people make conversations with people they liked but didn't like them back?"Um, April is right there with Ram."

"Oh, um, good to know?"Charlie asked with confusion before quickly adding"Quinn, Newt and Skye are with Brendon near the dance floor. Not sure where Dan went."

Matteusz shook his head, it was now his turn to be confused."I'm sorry I just thought, oh this is going to sound stupid, I thought you had a crush on her."

At that point, Charlie began laughing like never before. Matteusz felt embarrassed and a bit sad for April who luckily wasn't near to hear the conversation. About some seconds of him laughing and Matteusz just looked confused, Charlie spoke again."Wait, you're serious?"

"Well you asked her if she was going to the party."

"No, I asked her if you would all come to the party."Charlie replied"I didn't confess my undying love for her, it was just a question."

"Oh I just assume--"

"I'm gay."Charlie cut him off"That's why the rest of the school hates me and pretty much makes my life a living Hell."

"You are?"

"Yes and if you have a problem with that then,"truth be told Charlie didn't know how that sentence was supposed to end. Charlie wasn't strong like Dan nor as sarcastic-and slightly scary-as Skye. He could never be as accepting as Newt and most importantly couldn't be confident and brush off mean comments like Quinn and Brendon.

"I don't. I really don't. Not a a single problem. Nope."Matteusz said and laughed at the end. This was going either too well or too bad-Matteusz couldn't decide which of the two it was. "Sorry, I don't ramble, I'm just a little nervous....around you."

"Wait--"

 _"--can hear my heart go! Racing out of control! It's so crazy boy you really got me uh-oh!"_ in his short life, Charlie had wanted many times o murder Skye but never had he ever craved her murder more than this moment when her voice echoed in the entire room-and probably six thousand yards away from it. Brendon grabbed the microphone from her hand and began singing.

_"I don't think that you know when you're standing this close I get dizzy falling for you baby!Uh-oh!"_

"Hey,"Charlie turned to Matteusz while plotting the deaths of his friends in his mind"do you want to get out of here?"

.

"I don't drink."Phil told Chris and kindly declined the drink. Chris turned to Dan and handed him the drink but the boy just shook his head. Phil raised an eyebrow, he had been occasionally glancing at Dan who would stare at any drink he could find for the moment they had gotten there. Him not wanting to drink something just strike him as something odd."Are you sure? You look like you could use a drink."

"You're not drinking either so."Dan explained and leaned against the wall. Phil was now officially confused. Dan was a-well-confusing person whose moods seemed to change easily. He had been hostile the first time he met him and now he wasn't drinking because Phil wasn't drinking either? Dan was unreadable and that drove Phil crazy.

"I don't mind."Phil said and grabbed a beer from the table. Should he feel guilty about what he was trying to do? Use the entire ideology of a drunk man's actions are his sober thoughts and try to use google translate to read Dan. A pretty odd plan and an ever odder metaphor. Yet he didn't know one thing.

"I guess one drink won't do any harm."

Thus, his plan would backfire.

.

"So you didn't tell me,"Noah began as he moved closer to Quinn"did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from Heaven."he replied making both Skye and Brendon almost chock from holding their laughter. Quinn glanced at Newt but the boy just shrugged in return.

"Did you just call me a Fallen Angel?"

"Um ye--"

"So I'm like Lucifer?"

"No, that's not--"

"Stop harassing the guests, will you?"another voice blurted out. Quinn turned around and saw the one and only Rachel Berry(well Puckerman, actually). She and Quinn had some classes together-she doubted that Rachel had noticed-and although Quinn wouldn't talk about it she admired Rachel. She was a true queen bee, beautiful, smart and the first time she had heard her sing Quinn almost teared up."Forgive my brother, he can be an idiot. Well, he's always an idiot. I hope he wasn't rude, or too straight forward."

"It's fine."

"I don't think I was annoying her."

"You annoy me and that's practically the same. Plus I don't think Quinn was to keen on having you hit on her."Quinn kept on looking at them as they spoke, she had no idea why the siblings were wasting their time on her nor how they knew her name. All these years, she had swore she was invisible.

"One time my brothers were throwing themselves at the same person and I swear their fight was less shadier than this one."Brendon whispered to Skye.

"I need a drink."Quinn mumbled and scanned the room for some alcohol.

"Same,"Brendon added"and I know exactly where to find it."

.

"You don't have the fucking guts."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, you can't even manage a beer. Let alone a barrel."

"Watch me. I can take down anyone."

"Out of all the stupid things you've said, this might be the worst yet."yes that was perhaps true. Now may might perhaps wonder how Thomas Paige, son of one of the richest families in London, had found himself making stupid bets with other kids from WCKD Academy. Frankly, not even Thomas knew. Well he knew actually-it was all because Gally had messed up with his mind and wounded his ego but he wasn't going to let his twin sister know that the reason he would drink his weight in alcohol would be Gally being an asshole.

Although Teresa would most likely understand.

"You heard that Hudson, you have the first volunteer."Gally snickered.

"Great!  Anyone else?"

"Me!"

"A girl? That will be fun."

"Wait what?"Quinn asked confused as both Finn and Gally brought her next to Thomas."No, I was just talking to my friend I wasn't--"

"Of course she wasn't volunteering, she's a girl."Thomas cut her off with a smile. Just one second after he had finished his sentence did he understand how bad that sounded. Quinn fixed her posture and turned to Finn Hudson.

"Give me the barrel with the beer and go hold my legs."

.

"You smell like booze."

"And you, kind sir, smell like vanilla."Brendon laughed and sipped some more of his beer"And cheese whiz."

"Where are your friends Brendon?"

"Well, George--"

"My name is Ryan but I'll forgive that because you're hot and drunk."

"--Quinn is wasted, three of my friends are busy flirting and Newt told me to go get him a drink."

"Then why are you drunk?"

"Because I've been very emotional these days and I deserve happiness."Brendon cried as he grabbed Ryan's drink and drank it."Damn that burns."

"Okay Brendon, sit yourself down and avoid drinking for a while."

"Shut up mum!"

"What have I done to deserve this?"

"Oh a puppy!"Brendon exclaimed by throwing his hands up and almost slapping Ryan. Although the probably expensive lamp of the Wilde's family wasn't so lucky."I'm certain that this wasn't very expensive."

"Aha and that wasn't a puppy just a really hair guy."

"He's a werewolf?"Brendon screamed making at least four people look at him"I must save my friends!"he announced proudly and grabbed a fork. Ryan quickly took it away from his hand and the followed the younger boy as he went to-and I quote-slay the big hairy guy.

"How about we go find your friends, yeah?"

"Yes do that!"Brendon cheered"Come on sir George!"

"I will punch you."

.

"I'm going to punch that wall."

"Do not punch that wall."

"I WILL PUNCH THAT BLOODY WALL!"Quinn shout at the top of her lungs while Rachel tried to hold her back"It's looking at me weirdly!"

"It's just a wall."

"It mocks me just like my father!"Quinn admitted, her features slowly becoming softer as she burst into tears"Why doesn't anyone love me? Why do they all leave me in the end?"before Rachel could react Quinn was crying at her shoulder. Luckily enough, Ryan appeared in front of her with another drunk boy-who Rachel identified as Brendon.

"My small best friend!"Brendon announced proudly and hugged Quinn"I've come to rescue you from the human dog."

"Have you seen any of their friends?"

"What makes you think they'll be any better?"Rachel asked Ryan.

"Nothing can be worse than this. Now grab your drunk weirdo and I'll grab mine."

.

"I'm not that kind of guy, I don't do love or romance. For a long time I just thought I wouldn't find anyone to love but then, then I met you and oh God I know I'm in love. You are my everything. My moon and stars. I know we just met but I believe you're my soulmate."

"What happened next?"

"He told me we should see other people."Charlie chuckled"Eight year old me was crashed."

"Poor you having experienced heartbreak so young."

"Hey! I was traumatized!"Charlie laughed and playfully punched Matteusz's shoulder"He was my last love and first kiss."

"Fine, I'm sorry."Matteusz apologized and turned to look at the sky. The two of them were by the porch, sitting quietly away from the music and people, kind of romantic as far as Matteusz was concerned.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Who was your first love story?"

"I don't have any."

"For real? No first kiss? No anything?"

"Um no. It just ne--"out of all the stupid things that had happened today, Charlie did the worst and best one. In a matter of seconds he leaned in and kissed him.

.

"I'm hotter than you."

"No, I'm hotter than you."

"Yeah right."

"Yes, I'm right."

"Both of you shut up."Rachel yelled at Skye and Grant Ward who were apparently having a much heated-and serious, mainly serious-conversation."Is she drunk?"

"No. Yes. Maybe, God you're hot."Skye told Skye before turning to kiss Grant."Wait I feel this is wrong and that I was supposed to remember something."

"It probably wasn't something important."Grant replied and kissed her. Brendon stepped in between pulling the pair away from each other.

"At least now we know who is the slut drunk in this group."Rachel mumbled.

"Skye, where is Newt? We've lost him."Quinn questioned making Brendon look at her with horror.

"We lost Newt? Oh my God he was so young!"

"Newt is not lost, you idiots."another voice blurted out as the group turned around to see Dan and Phil holding their drinks."He's upstairs with another guy."

"Yes! My child is getting that booty!"

"I'm blocking you."Dan told her before turning to Brendon and Quinn"Although I have no idea where Charlie is. And I also need a beer."

"How much have you drunk?"

"The entire house."Phil replied"Yet he looks more sober than me even if I hadn't had any alcohol."

"What can I say? It's a gift."Dan smirked ignoring the dirty looks from Skye while he sipped the rest of his beer in a matter of seconds."Next time I propose we stay home, grab some rum and watch Game of Thrones."

"You don't watch that show."

"I might start, what about tomorrow?"

At that moment, Skye didn't know with who she should be mad at. Phil shouldn't have let Dan drink-she didn't want to remember what happened when Dan was drunk-and Dan should have been responsible enough to say no. At the time she wasn't scared of the night, the alcohol had made her numb, but she was afraid of one thing;

Tomorrow's light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless self promo: If you're part of the Glee, Tmr or Aos fandom, I have a nice story with Quinn, Newt and Grant as angels sooo check it out.
> 
> (Thus the "did you compare me to a Fallen Angel?" reference)


	16. This is not what you're supposed to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt so much that I started to feel nothing.

"I'm going to wake them up."

"Don't you dare."

"Kitty's going to splash them, if I don't."

"Hurt my ship, Daniel, and I swear I will stab you."

"Oh yes. Give me death."

"What time is it?"Matteusz yawned as he rubbed his eyes. He wasn't sure of where he was or what exactly was going on. He remembered though going to Kitty's party with Ram and April but he couldn't quite understand how he had now found himself laying on the grass. Once his vision was clear, his eyes laid on Dan and Skye Howell, both of which grinned happily.

"Rise and shine, cupcake."Skye smiled"Did you get busy last night?"

"Skye!"

"What? Look at them!"at that moment, Matteusz realized why he felt heavier. Charlie was spooning him, eyes closed and legs on the other boy, Matteusz couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing happened."

"Boo."Skye whispered yelled before quickly adding"At least it's nice knowing that you didn't take advantage of him."

"Yes but if you could wake up his majesty, that would be great."Dan continued less amused"We have places to be and boredom to kill."

"And probably four very drunk teenagers to babysit."

Matteusz nodded while stroking Charlie's hair to wake him up. Dan frowned in response as Skye glared at him for ruining her ship's moment. The smaller boy let out a sound hard to identify-beside Skye's comment that it was a moan-and seemed to be falling even more asleep. Then as if the universe was returning a favor to Dan, the sprinklers came on making the four teens wet.

"Well, this is definitely the highlight of my day."

.

"We should have stayed at home, lay down for a while and maybe have some tea. That's what normal people do when they have hangovers."Brendon complained as he put his emergency sunglasses on.

"We were never normal."Dan laughed and continued driving. Quinn was half asleep on Brendon's shoulder while Charlie gazed outside the window lost in his thoughts. Newt remained silent and played with the end of his dress.

"Does anyone even remember what happened last night?"Dan questioned finally ending the awkward silence"I mean, I remember meeting Phil's friends and how Phil and I went looking for the rest of you but what happened after that? Because Phil--"

"Fun drinking game, drink a shot every time Dan talks about Phil."Skye chuckled and cut him off. Dan flipped her off with a grin and continued driving.

"I remember drinking and some pinning."Quinn blurted out"Lots of drinking actually."

"Oh yes, you drank an entire barrel of beer but on the bright side, you managed to win the drinking contest."Dan told her"Also both Noah and Rachel Puckerman were hitting on you but stopped when you threw up on Noah's shirt."

"It was beautiful."Skye commented.

"You were also quite drunk at this point and too busy shagging with Grant Ward."Dan shot back"Which I think wasn't part of your original plan.

"You don't know that."Skye replied"Plus it's not like--"

"I kissed Matteusz."

"I think I'm gay."

"I had sex last night and the guy thought I was a girl."

Dan hit the brakes, luckily they were very close to their destination, and both he and Skye turned behind them with their jaws open. The pair opened their doors and went to talk behind the car. Quinn also opened her door letting Brendon and Charlie out. Newt sighed and followed them."Aren't we going to talk about this?"

"Nope. Not right now. Nah. You can't make me!"Dan yelled and walked in the forest.

"We'll talk about this once we reach the tree house."

.

Many years had passed since the last time the entire gang was gathered in their tree house, but luckily after the small visits Skye and Dan payed to it-along with a tiny renovation-it still stood there proud as ever. Newt was the first to climb up and the first thing that captured his attention was the little sign Brendon had made. He laughed and got inside.

"Come on, cool kids!"

"That thing is still up there?"Brendon laughed and followed Quinn up. Skye patted Charlie's back and encouraged him to come up. The blonde boy nodded and began climbing. Skye then turned to Dan with a grin.

"We stick together, right?"

"Until the very end."he smiled and the two of them finally made their way to the tree house. Charlie was moving from room to room with a huge smile at the sight of the house plants. Dan and Skye smiled."We tried to keep them all but we lost a dandelion last winter."

"You guys are the best."

"Oh we know."Skye grinned"Now sit down your butts because we have somethings to talk about."

"No, not me."Quinn replied.

"You too, Blondie. This isn't just about yesterday."Dan told her as he sat down. Skye motioned her hands for the rest of the group to also sit. Dan sighed uncertain of whether he was truly ready to have that talk with his friends."I didn't talk to you last year."he stated and looked at Quinn"I didn't hang with you, I pretended we weren't even at the same school. I hard some girls making fun of you and I ignored it."

"Dan--"

"And Charlie,"he continued and turned to Charlie"I didn't come to your parents funeral. Nor did I come to their death's anniversary. I saw you being bullied everyday for being gay and even if I knew how many problems you had, I chose to do nothing."

"Why does it matter now?"Charlie asked, slightly angry"We're fine now."

"Only we shouldn't be fine now. We've changed. We can't just UN-pause, life went on."Dan explained"There's a reason why I'm doing this now and that reason is yesterday. You may have heard the rumors, you may even realized it yesterday but the truth is that I drink."

"We don't mind."Brendon told him.

"No, you don't understand. I'm an alcoholic and a smoker. My lungs, my liver, neither is in a very good condition and who knows how long will they last? I drink everyday and sometimes I even pass out. If I managed to get drunk, I do stupid and reckless things. For God's sake, one time I slapped Skye!"he yelled in frustration"I didn't accept neither Charlie nor Quinn once things got difficult because I'm weak. But I don't want your pity. If, however, you still want me. If you can look past all these flaws. I need to know that you're going to stay this time."

There was silence after that. Dan expected that to be honest. Everyone-including himself-chose to leave when things would get difficult. No one wants to be tied down, everyone wants freedom and being able to just close the door and leave if they feel like it.

"I'm not a girl."Newt blurted out making the group look at him"This hasn't changed from when I was younger. I like wearing girly clothes and do things that girl like but I am still a boy and for a long time I thought this was okay. You taught me that being myself was okay."he continued and turned to Charlie"But then I lost you, or maybe you lost me. I didn't mean it."

"I know."Dan smiled sadly.

"People in my new town weren't really accepting. It was a bigger town, though, so I met some people who were boys and dressed like me. But they weren't nice-they told me if I didn't identify as a girl and wore girly clothes I was weird. My classmates thought I was weird. So did my parents. My dad used to even beat me when I'd go to the woman section in stores. Then, of course Sonya was born and he was too busy being happy to pay attention to me. My mother just did no longer thought I was her child. When I got older, my classmates began hitting me and calling me names. I just wanted to go back, you know? I didn't even get to say goodbye to you."

"Yeah, you asshole."Skye said as she sniffed her nose and wiped a small tear about to form.

"Yesterday, I met a guy. His name was Thomas."

"I remember a Thomas."Quinn stated"We competed against each other in the drinking contest. He was wasted, even more than me."

"I should have known."Newt told her before continuing"He flirted with me and called me beautiful. No one has called me beautiful, except you guys. Not even then did I realize he was actually very drunk. What person right in their mind would call me beautiful?"

"Newt, sweetheart--"Skye began but Newt shook his head.

"After _it_ happened, I was ecstatic. My first time-even if I was slightly drunk-had finally happened. The next morning he woke up and realized his terrible mistake. I'm sorry, do we have any alcohol?"

"I have a stash of Capri Suns."

"Give me one."Skye smiled and handed him a Capri Sun from under the bed. Newt drank some of it and continued"He told me that he had every right to have been confused because I was wearing a dress. Why would a non-girl wear a dress? Then he left disgusted and I was left without any clothes or my dignity left."

"Why didn't you tell us? I would have kicked his ass."Dan told him.

"You were all asleep, I guess it was better that way."he took another sip of the Capri Sun"Anyway, that was my sad story and my promise that I'm not leaving you guys, if you don't leave me either. I left my town, my parents and my sister. You're the only ones I have left."

Silence once again filled the room when Quinn decided to speak."Do we have something to eat? I'm hungry and nothing goes better with emotional confessions than food."

"We have ice cream!"Skye exclaimed and ran to another room to bring a mini fridge"Open up, metaphorically and literally."the group grabbed one ice cream each and began eating"Is anyone else going to have an emotional confession? No? Should I take the lead?"

"We're all ears."Dan grinned.

"Okay, hm, lets see-truth is that I don't have an emotionally story to share. The only sad part of my life is that my parents didn't want me and when I finally got adopted, my new parents didn't want me either. That crashed me spirit."she stated and licked her ice cream cone"I'm insomniac but comparing to others, I guess this isn't so bad. I also had Dan all these years when the rest of you were gone so my life was cool. In fact, I think my life wasn't really bad and I just have a tendency of being a drama queen."

"You know that's not true."Dan whispered but Skye shook her head refusing to accept any protest.

"This exhaled quickly. Did you get poisoned?"Quinn tried to joke but received no laughter. The girl sighed and grabbed a Capri Sun"What do you want me to say?"

"Anything. Anything hurts less than the quiet."Skye smiled softly, the self hatred she felt before had vanished and she looked like herself again. Brendon felt his heart getting heavier. Apparently he wasn't the best actor anymore.

"Well I have imaginary friends. You already knew that, though. They aren't imaginary to me, however, and they are certainly not my friends. They yell at me and then for a while they make me feel safe, safe enough for me to keep them around because I'm afraid of loneliness. And truth is, without them I'm alone."

"You aren't. Not anymore."Newt whispered.

"Yeah that's what Brendon told me and then he left. You will too. All of you will leave me again and I'm okay with that. I've accepted it. But I always thought accepting it would be easier. Now that I know that you're as broken as I am, it just seems more difficult."she stared at her Capri Sun for a while"This friendship is so stupid but it's the only real thing in my life and I desperately want to hold on to it."

"I hate therapy."Charlie announced only seconds after Quinn had finished"This looks a lot like therapy to me."

"Well, we are walking travesties who are smiling at everything twenty four seven. Time that change, even if it's just for a moment."Dan explained.

"Well what is there to say? I have dead parents and a psychotic aunt who doesn't care if I live or not. I'm being bullied at school and sometimes I wish I didn't exist. You wanted the truth, well the truth is that I hate who I am. There isn't anything more to it."

"Charlie, you can talk to us."

"You can't handle my guilt."he shot back"And can someone please continue? I have nothing else to say. I just want us to be together, to be happy. You don't need to bother with my problems because as long as what we have remains I don't have any."

"In that case, there's only one person left in the circle of shame"Skye began"Brendon?"

"I don't have anything to say. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? We all said the same but we aren't fine. Like at all."Quinn laughed bitterly.

"I miss my old school a bit but other than that I'm fine. I promise."none of them seemed to be fully convinced. Brendon knew, they wouldn't be friends if he too wasn't screwed up. He pauses for a moment before getting up and going to another room. The rest of the group waits for him, when he finally returns he's holding a guitar."You bastards kept it."

"Well, we always hoped that one of us would learn how to play."Skye explained"You do remember how to play right?"

Brendon snorted and began playing with the strings. He hummed a familiar tune and then began playing for real _"I wish that I could be like the cool kids"_ he smiled as he sang"Cause all the cool kids they seem to fit in"

  
 _"I wish that I could be like the cool kids, like the cool kids"_ Quinn smiled as she sang along. Skye smiled and moved along to the beat while Dan and Newt stomped their feets to the beat. Then Skye grabbed Newt's hand and they began jumping up and down.

 


	17. My sweet little pill take my hunger lie within numb my skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antidepressants were swimming in the river, and our bloodstream were just as polluted as the waterways.

In Coal Hill, there's a group of misfits. It only takes a week but everyone learns-one way or another-that six children  with nothing in common are sticking together no matter what. Some already knew it. Even if it was a group of outsiders, the Cool Kids-an ironic name of course given to them by first graders-were not invisible. Therefore when Newt Saxon and Brendon Urie returned, it was only a matter of time before the group reformed. And words....words travel fast in high school.

What was this group of misfits, though? How did they all become this weird group? What connected them? Was Brendon just as insane as them? These were some of the questions Ryan wanted the answer to. Did he know where to get them? Well not exactly. He, however, knew Joe Trohman and Pete Wentz so that was almost as good.

"And we should help you because...."

"Because you love me?"

"Not happening, bro."Ryan scoffed at Joe's refusal and turned to Patrick who tried to enjoy his morning in quiet. The blonde chose to ignore him and let him burn. Something totally unfair because Ryan rarely asked for favors. Okay maybe not so rarely. But this was the third time he wanted something from his friends.

Okay it was the third time this month but still.

"You don't even know what I wanted to ask you."

"The answer is still no."

"Thanks, Pete."

"Oh not again with this meme. I am officially regretting every decision I've ever made."Patrick mumbled to himself"Look, the skinny model over here has a crush on Brendon Urie."

"I do not."

"Oh really? Well in that case, guys forget I said anything. We'll be on our way."

"No, no stop. I don't have a crush on him, I just find him aesthetically pleasing."

"Can't blame you, dude, he's a good looking guy."Pete agreed making Patrick frown"If it's a heart matter, we might consider helping."

"Unless it's something illegal."

"Especially if it's something illegal."Pete argued before turning to Ryan"What do you need?"

"Anything you can get."

.

Sometimes, Brendon stays on his bed for hours. It doesn't happen often, he hates apathy more than anything, but when it does it's awful. There are happy days with blue skies when Brendon walks around and behaves as if he had drunk ten energy drinks and twenty cups of coffee. He's energetic to the point that no one-except his family and his childhood friends-can put up with his behavior. During their second move, his parents realized that such a behavior is not acceptable or normal for that matter. Of course having one happy, but jumpy, kid was better than five moody ones but the Uries still chose to get help.

So this was how Brendon was diagnosed with ADHD.

At first, it wasn't so bad. Naturally, Brendon despised the pills he was given and believed that they erased a part of who he was but after seeing progress being made he accepted the fact that he was ill. He was ill and the pills were helping him get better. Suddenly he began learning better, he could concentrate, he even began track running.

Then suddenly, the voices began.

The doctors in Liverpool had told him not to worry. ADHD was often mistaken for depression so having some bad days was completely normal. Brendon and his parents believed them. By the time they moved again, however, Brendon didn't have bad days. He had bad weeks and bad months. He wasn't sad, oh God no, depression for him was far worse.

He was angry.

He was apathetic.

He was hopeless.

He was lonely.

He was anxious.

Sometimes he was entirely numb.

Other doctors found him clinically depressed and claimed it was also normal for ADHD patients to have symptoms of depression. They gave him other pills. It didn't really change anything for him-the voices telling him that he was worthless never stopped-Brendon figured out that they would stop when he would. Then and only then would he finally find peace.

"Bren? Time to go to school."his sister told him as she sat on his bed. He didn't want to get up, he didn't want to do anything. His sister seemed to understand-her gaze soften and she smiled"I got your pills."

"I don't want to."

Brendon hated these days. He hated when he behaved like a bratty little child. His parents disagreed, they told him that he couldn't help his feelings and he shouldn't feel guilty about it, but Brendon couldn't help it. Sometimes he wished he was worthy enough. Sometimes he wished that he was the perfect guy he showed the world.

(And sometimes, he thought, if he could never stop being a burden, maybe he shouldn't be alive.)

"It's only three pills, Bren. You'll feel better afterwards."Brendon just nodded, not wanting to make his sister sad, and took one pill in his hand. The pill is a quite large metallic green one that leaves Brendon grimacing. As if he didn't have to take enough pills, his coach had made him take some extra Creatine to help him running.

He took a sip of water and grabbed the second pill; Adderal. A bit sweet, certainly better than the creatine pill, in a blue form as to taunt him. A blue pill to make you feel less blue. He had been taken that pill for as long as he remembers and surprisingly it was the only one which worked.

Finally, he grabbed the last green/white pill and swallowed it. Prozac was bitter yet sweet. He feels more numb than ever when he takes it but at least the voices stop for a while. His sister smiles and gets up"Stay home today, try to sleep."

"Thank you."

He doesn't really need to thank her for doing what any good sister should but Brendon isn't used to so much understanding when it doesn't come from his parents and he feels thankful.

.

"All I'm saying is that we should skip class and go find Brendon. Maybe something serious happened."Charlie explained making Skye laugh at his excuse. Newt patted his back as Quinn kept looking at her phone. Finally, Dan spoke up.

"You know that I would love to skip class, but we have Physics with your aunt and I happen to like my life."

"Bollocks. The Dan we know would never pass up a chance to die!"Newt shout at him as Skye pretended to be shocked"You, sir, are an impostor."

"Oh my God! Were all these years a lie? Is your name even Daniel?"

"No, it's actually Angus Dilldy Howler."Dan replied with a straight face"I'm just kidding, it's actually Esteban."

"I thought it was Daphne."Skye chuckled making Quinn burst into laughter.

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"Oh bloody hell don't you dare."Charlie tried to say in between laughter.

"No one calls Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramίrez a liar!"

"I constantly thank God for Esteban, this scene was gold."Skye laughed and slammed her hands on the wall"But still we're not skipping class just because you don't want to face Matteusz."

"Who? Me? That's ridiculous."

"Aha."

"I'm not avoiding him."

"Sure Jan."

"I just think that we don't necessarily need to see each other today."

"Obviously, yeah."

"But I'm not avoiding him."

"Of course you aren't."Skye continued"Also not that you are but he was looking for you at the previous break."

"Wait really?"

"Aha, but sure, just keep on avoiding him. He's a sweet good looking guy, there are plenty more fish in the sea."Skye mocked him. This ship was going to set sail even if she would have to trap both boys in an elevator and with an extremely elaborated plan-which may or may not include a puppet similar to the one in Saw-make them kiss.

"I need to go. Talk to you later."Charlie mumbled and left running.

"Did Matteusz really come looking for him?"Dan asked.

"Well no, but he constantly keeps looking at him with heart eyes and I can't just watch two shy puppies being in love and do nothing about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fluff-y. I feel fluff-y today. I watched the new episode of Game of Thrones today and I feel very happy(Please dear God, let my ship be happy and set sail and I promise I'll write fluff for a week). Soon enough we'll start having ships getting canon and possibly some dates....
> 
> Also not to spoil anything but this chapter had some foreshadowing about a very very important event(which may not be so happy), I really hope you got it. Then again if you didn't, you're in for a surprise.


	18. We're all misfits living in a world on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misfits aren't misfits among other misfits.

"I'm good at procrastination."

"And I want to get things done as soon possible."

"There are two kinds of people."both Skye and Dan glared at Brendon who, without contacting anyone, had vanished for an entire day only to come jogging to them on Tuesday morning acting as if everything were fine. Not that Dan wasn't a fan of 'ignore a problem and act as if everything is fine until it disappears' tactic, but he didn't like when others did it to him."What? I always wanted to say that."

"Great, you've turned him into a Tumblr fuckboy."

"Hey! I've only had one relationship in my life."

"Look, the guys in Tumblr are divided in four categories."Dan began with a small chuckle"Furries, nerds, emos and fuckboys. You don't have cat ears, you wear contacts instead of glasses, you wear bright clothes which is absolutely disgusting by the way--"

"Bright red brings out my  hair."

"Don't you mean eyes? Which are sort of the first thing a girl checks out?"Dan questioned to which Skye shook her head.

"The bottom. We always check that nice arse of yours."Skye winked"Same goes for when guys check out guys."

"What? No!"

"And how would you know Boyd? Were you checking out something else in a guy?"Skye teased him. Brendon frowned, he wasn't checking out any guy's butt. Okay he may had checked out Ryan when he saw him some minutes ago but that was only because he wore very tight pants."Anywhore, I'm keeping that by the way so thanks Brendon, Newt and Charlie always check out the behinds of the guys. Bu to make sure that it wasn't just a kink in the family, yesterday Dan also checked out Phil."

"What? I did not!"

"And by that defensive tone, I think we can all understand that he eye-raped him."Skye explained with a grin"Sometimes our conversations are pretty odd and I feel the need to publish them online. Maybe I should write a fan fic about it."

"Skye Howell and her group of misfits."Brendon joked as Skye stuck out her tongue to him"Or Mean Girls And Boys, the great ripoff."

"Actually, I would call it Weird is the new cool because I'm a true poet."

"Or you just like Orange is the new black. Meanwhile I would have simply named it Cool Kids for an inside joke and one hell of an irony. Boom!"Dan laughed as he pretended to let a microphone fall to the ground. Brendon shrugged and the three of them walked to class. Skye stood a bit behind and let out a sigh.

"Cool Kids is an awful title."

.

"Charlie?"

"Hm?"

"What exactly are you doing?"Quinn asked sliding next to him. She quickly glanced around to make sure that the librarian wasn't near-that woman barely let them breathe when in her library-before leaning closer to Charlie."We haven't seen you since fourth period yesterday. I wanted to ask Newt but he seems to avoid us as well."

"It's not that exactly."

"Then what is it?"Charlie didn't answer. Quinn sighed"You know I'm trying to fix this, I'm doing my best, but I can't change things between us-between all of us-if you don't let me in."

Charlie sighed too, she had a point, and it wasn't as if he had any reason to shut her out. It was more his own pride and insecurities getting in the way. But Charlie wasn't willing to lose his friends again for the sake of his pride. He hesitantly picked up his notebook and handed it to Quinn.

"Oh my God!"

"Don't laugh."

"This is so,"Quinn tried to say but found herself unable to talk as her laughter echoed in the entire room. Charlie rolled his eyes and went to get up when she grabbed his hand and sat him back down"I'm sorry, Charlie, I'm really sorry."

"It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't. It's sweet and normal."okay perhaps not very normal but she wasn't going to tell him that"But don't you think that it's a bit too much? Why not just approach him like a normal person?"

"I tried that yesterday when Skye told me that he was looking for me. I almost talked to him but then,"Charlie stopped-his voice had now become a faint whisper"I don't want to make a fool of myself."

"I know, and hey, a bit preparation never hurt anyone."she smiled and picked up his notebook"But a hypothetical scenario in which aliens will attack our school while you try to ask Matteusz out is simply too much."

"What if it happens?"

"Well, we'll let miss Quill deal with them while you flirt with your other half."Charlie couldn't help blushing. Quinn smiled and took his hand"I have an idea."

"Does it involve a fake pregnancy?"

"No."

"Does it involve Skye?"

"It involves Skye's writing."

"I'm listening."


	19. But if I had you, that would be the only thing I'd ever need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.

"I had never thought of how I wanted to die,"Skye daydreamed staring at distance. She tapped her index finger to the wooden table"but I assume that dying because of your ship finally becoming canon would be a good way to go."

"Your ship won't be canon."Charlie argued with a bitter laugh"At least not until he says yes."

"Details, Charles, details."Skye said and continued rambling about every single one of her dreams becoming true. Charlie and Quinn couldn't hold back their laughter when they watched Skye's amazed expression. The brunette girl was known for caring more about the romance of others than the one in her own life.

"Newt,"Dan began noticing the shorter blonde staring at his phone. He did that quite often today and had barely spoke a word to them."is everything okay?"

"Huh?"

"I asked if everything is okay."

Newt looked at his phone again with a somewhat pained expression. He seemed to be zoning out again for a few seconds before he gulped and brought himself to look at Dan. An explanation was at the tip of his tongue but the words failed to come out as Brendon threw his books on the table with a loud thud.

"Quinn texted me something about a mission and I came running."Brendon explained"Didn't even put my books to the bag, I just ran."

"Brendon Urie, the spinoff of the wonderful Forrest Gump."Skye chuckled"Or, Brendon rennt, which would be the adaptation of Run, Lola, Run."

"I loved that movie."Brendon replied trying to catch his breath.

"Which one?"

"Yes."Brendon continued"So who do we have to keep busy in order for the secret marriage to happen?"

"What?"

"Sorry, watched some Game of Thrones yesterday, what's our plan? And well, for who is our plan?"

"Our little posh prince is going to ask a tall angel out."Skye announced cheerfully before giving Charlie a quick hug showing how proud she was of him. "If they get together, they will be my first ship to be canon."

"Glad you're setting your priorities straight."

Skye glanced at Charlie with a grin"Well, someone has  to be straight in this group."

That time, only Dan made a grimaced while Brendon remained silent. Quinn quickly mumbled something but no one paid attention. Skye, being happy with the reply she had given, smiled and laid back to her chair."So what's our plan, lover-boy?"

"I don't have any."

"Oh thank God!"Dan sighed in relief.

"Quinn has."

"Of course she has."Dan said"Why can't I have a nice quiet day to myself like a bloody normal person?"

.

"Hey."

"What do you want?"

"I just said hello to you."Phil said confused, such a harsh and occasionally brutal behavior was odd to him. No, Phil never expected for people to love him. But what he at least expected was some kindness.

"And?"

"Well, you could greet me back."

"Is that still a thing?"Dan questioned.

"For polite people, yes."

"Ah, well I'm dead inside so politeness can wait."Dan told him and continued walking away as Phil followed him. Dan looked at Phil and frowned."Stop following me."

"I'm not following you. I mean, I'm not exactly following you."

Dan sighed. Phil wasn't a bad guy, quite the opposite, but it seemed as if he was trying too hard. He was always trying too hard. And truth be told; Dan didn't know why Phil tried so hard for him. He had obviously seen something in the other boy and Dan couldn't truly understand what that was.

Suddenly, someone was interested him. Suddenly, a person-aside from the five other people who he practically considered family-was wasting time on him and Dan was terrified. Everyone wants something from other people, aside from those too broken who didn't have anything to give. That's why Dan always liked his broken friendship with his childhood friends. He was broken and so were they, so no one could really take advantage of anyone.

Yet Phil was different.

Phil wasn't broken. He was probably the most well-built and flawless person in the entire school. He had no reason to waste time on Dan and yet he did. So Dan was left with one question; why?

"So what are you doing then?"Dan asks a bit too harshly"What do you want?"

"You."the answer is quick and not even Phil, himself, manages to process it. He quickly looks down and then back at Dan"We're kind of friends and I just thought we should maybe spend some time together."

Dan stared at him for a while unable to find the right words. He nodded once and tilted his head"But not right now."

.

"What is this? A bloody tulip?"

"Well, it was the best thing I could find."Skye tried to defend herself. Newt snorted at her reply and crossed his arms."Brendon, hold my flowers."

"Aw they're blue, how cute."

"See? Urie appreciates my creativity."Skye grinned and grabbed a white piece of paper"Now step aside because magic is about to happen."

"You writing in calligraphic isn't really considered magic."

"I will smack you."Skye shot at Newt and turned to Brendon"Hand me a black marker."

.

Matteusz was not having a good day.

April, with who he shared most of his classes, was sick and Ram had skipped school today to check on her. That left him alone with Tanya-who although he adored-was with him only in Physics. On top of that they had a test in Chemistry and he had forgotten his lucky pen. So although small bad things happened, Matteusz was not really having a good day.

But honestly, this was about to change.

"Ah! Matteusz! What a nice surprise!"Matteusz turned around to find Charlie's friends, Skye and Quinn, looking at him with a smirk on their faces. Skye grabbed his arm and smiled"Actually, not a surprise, I just know your schedule."

"And I promise you, it isn't as weird as it sounds."Quinn tried to joke.

"Er--"

"Are you hungry? You seem hungry. Go grab something to eat. Ta ta."Skye cut him off while shoving him outside. Matteusz would normally argue but he was slightly scared of the tiny brunette. Her behavior occasionally reminded him of Tanya and both Ram and April were scared of her. So Matteusz just nodded and stepped outside only to face Charlie.

"Hey."the blonde smiled, Matteusz felt his heart skipping a beat.

"Hi."once Matteusz began thinking straight again, he noticed Charlie holding some white card boards. He was ready to say something but Charlie stopped him.

"I sort of wanted this to be very special but if II waited for everything to be perfect, we would probably be both old and wrinkled so."he chuckled and showed the first cardboard. There was a little red heart at the corner and a small sentence with black letters.

Today, I am going to create a bit of a flutter on my Facebook and Twitter, Matteusz read before Charlie brought in  front the second cardboard.As I ask you and also let everyone see:

At that point, Charlie glanced behind Matteusz to see both Quinn and Skye picking from the almost closed door. He smiled and changed the card.Will you go on a date with me? Matteusz opened his mouth to answer but Charlie shook his head and brought in front the last card. I like you; I really do. You will be my date, won't you?

"Um, yeah."Matteusz smiled"Yes, I would love to go out with you."

"You would?"

"Yes."

"Ah that's just great!"the voice of Dan echoed in the hall while the boy came running towards them. He handed Charlie a bouquet of blue tulips-identical to the ones that the headmaster had planted right outside the school-and patted his back"Silly child, forgot these."

"I knew I had forgotten something."Charlie mumbled and handed the flowers to Matteusz"For you."

 

 


	20. Wednesday my empty arms are open(Thursday waiting for love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's impossible to be both selfish and happy.

"Is Charlie okay?"

"He's dying."

"Yes. No!"Skye shout at the top of her lungs almost making both Matteusz and Quinn deaf. The girl tried to make things less awkward by faking  a heartwarming laugh and bringing Quinn closer"Quinny, over here is just being dramatic."

Quinn looked at her with worry. Every time Skye was nervous about lying she would use ridiculous pet names. Similar to that one time she wanted to sneak out at night and when Dan caught her she called him, and I quote, Dan the Pooh.  Luckily for both girls, Matteusz wasn't that close to Skye and just assumed that she was awful at nicknames.

"Charles is sick."

"Very sick."

"So so sick."Skye added dramatically"Poor thing can't even get out of bed."

"That's awful."Matteusz said sadly"What does he have?"

"Μono."Quinn quickly replied causing Skye to hit her with her elbow"I meant a severe cold."

"Aha, so he's really sorry about not coming yesterday but he told us to tell you that you can reschedule your date, um, for tomorrow. Lets say, six o' clock?"

"Yeah of course, if he's feeling better."Matteusz smiled. For a brief moment yesterday, he had been very angry at Charlie. After all, it was the blonde boy who had asked him out, the last thing he should do was showing up. Yet Charlie didn't show up and Matteusz was very worried. Then he was angry and by the end of the day he was just disappointed at himself. Disappointed at himself for believing that good things could happen to him. Yet now both Skye and Quinn had approached him, Charlie's best friends, and had given him a believable excuse for Charlie's absence.

He was sick.

Yeah he could live with that.

"Great! We'll let him know."

"Good, tell him to feel better soon."

"Will do."Skye smiled while Matteusz walked way. The girl waited for him to be gone before pulling out her phone and calling Charlie."Okay listen here, you gay asshole--"

"Rude."

"Not talking to you, No-Homo-Howell."

"I figured since this isn't my phone, but Charlie doesn't want to talk to you."

"Why?"

"Well, you just called him asshole so."

"As if he isn't."Skye mumbled"But he's also a very lucky asshole, I still can't believe miss Quill let him stay home."

"He's a master of manipulation."

"And yet, Matteusz likes him, now give him the phone."

"He says he isn't here."

"Okay then, tell him to man up and that tomorrow he has a date and I will personally make sure he doesn't chicken out the very last moment."and with that she hung up"Tell me again, why don't they kiss already?"

"Well, Charlie is very closed to himself and has a very traumatic past that doesn't let him open up to others. On top of that, he's an only child so he's quite insecure and at times very selfish. Whereas Matteusz seems like a social, outgoing and peaceful guy who hasn't completely come to terms with who he is and he's still holding himself back. Charlie is obviously his first crush and this is why he will buy every stupid lie about him even if 'he was sick' was just a lame excuse."Quinn explained with a shrug.

"In simpler words?"

"Unnecessary angst, plot climax, drama and the writer wanting to keep everyone in suspense since the next chapter will probably be delayed due to schools starting."

"Ah, makes sense."

.

"I have bad news and good news."

"Your entire existence is bad news for humanity."

"If you do this again, I swear I'll punch you both."Grant groaned and shut his locker. Rachel and Noah glared at each other for a few minutes before Grant broke the silence with a loud cough."If looks could kill, you'd both be committing siblicide."

"I'd still do it, spent some time in prison and then off to Broadway."Rachel shot back"I would be perfect for Chicago."

"The town?"Noah asked after grabbing his back-bag. Rachel sighed and looked at him with clear pity.

"As I was saying, I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

"Oh! Oh! The bad news so we will be happy after."Noah suggested while Grant just shrugged.

"Bad news are that Kara, having learned about Ward's little make out session with Skye Howell is furious."

"And how is that bad?"Grant said with a smirk"It's even better than what I had first intended, didn't even have to try hard or be sober."

"Um, no, I didn't say she was heartbroken. She's angry. Very very angry."Rachel explained slightly shivering at the memory of Kara being mad"And as for the good news, Ryan Ross managed to find me Quinn Fabray's address so suck it up, Mohawk."

"You can't stalk our victim."

"Well, watch me."Rachel glanced across the hall to see Kara coming towards them, the shorter girl gulped and patted Grant's back"See you in the afterlife."

Grant only laughed. He wasn't scarred of Kara and he wasn't even feeling guilty about the party. It was a party, he was bound to end up making out with someone, that someone just happened to be Skye. Not that Grant minded, he had already set up a plan to get with Skye Howell to torture Kara, it would happen eventually-he was sure of that-it just happened sooner than expected.

"Grant."

"Kara."

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"This is way too tense for my liking."Noah mumbled but the exes ignored him.

"Out of all the whores in this school, you chose the biggest one."

"Indeed but luckily she broke up with me last week."

"Don't try to be a smart-ass, dear, brains and good looks don't go together."

"If that's the case, then you're probably quite the student."

"Fuck you."Kara yelled at him"Everyone knows you did that to get back at me. So pathetic, even for you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."Grant lied"News flash, the world doesn't revolve around your majesty."

"Why do I even bother?"Kara finally said"You'll never be happy, Grant, no matter what you do. You had everything you could possibly ask for and you blew it because you keep trying to have what you can't. Because you're selfish. You'll always be selfish."and with that she left with her head and pride high.

"She ended you, man."

"She's delusional."Grant argued"I'm going to make her pay for that."

"Are we gonna throw paper at her house?"

"No, you idiot."Grant said as Noah's smile faded"Plan A is still on, I already got to her, by the end of this, I will have crashed her ego and heart."

"I doubt she has any but sure."

.

"Smile!"

"Wait wh--"Quinn didn't finish her sentence as a flashlight appeared"By the end of this day, I will be either deaf or blind."

"Bren, what are you doing?"Skye asked finally catching Brendon's attention. The boy took the photo out from his Polaroid camera and handed Skye the picture he had taken. The picture showed Quinn with an apple inches away from her mouth which caused a small laugh to escape Skye's mouth.

"You're so cute."she smiled"No homo."

"Honestly, you're probably the only person who can say that and not be lying."

"Hey!"Brendon complained making both girls burst into laughter"I had a girlfriend."

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that bisexuality and pansexuality are a thing."

"Thank you that made me feel better."

"Wait, did you accidentally admitted that you could be bi or pan?"

"No,"Brendon replied"I'm just saying that there are some guys who I would willingly date like Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Seaman."

"You forgot Ryan Ross."Quinn said while smirking when Brendon's phone rang. Brendon stuck out his tongue and went to answer his phone.

"Hello?"

"Please tell me Skye isn't there."

"That would be lying and lying is sin."

"This isn't time for joking around, I think she wants to kill me."

"You did get between her and her otp being canon."

"I know but,"Charlie stopped himself and sighed"I'm scarred."

"Of what? Going out?"

"Love stuff. I mean, what happens if the date doesn't end well. How will I face Matteusz again? Should I change schools?"

"Is that Charlie?"Skye asked with a harsh tone. Brendon slapped her arm and continued.

"You're right, it could end badly, but it could also end good. Maybe you'll even get a boyfriend."

"I'm going to make a fool of myself."

"Everyone does on their first date but no one pays attention to it. It's the magic of first dates."

"I don't know."

"Look no one is pressuring you not even Skye,"-Skye glared at him-,"but take it from the only other person who has dated someone, it's not that hard. Yes, you might be awkward with him but he might be awkward with you as well. And once you get married, none of it will matter."

"And what if nothing more happens?"

"Well, it just wasn't meant to be but Matteusz doesn't seem like the guy who would have a problem being just friends with you. And if he has, then he's an idiot because you're a great guy."

"Thanks mum."

"You're welcome, now go rest and hang out with Dan the Meme and Newt and try to relax. Tomorrow is a big day."

"We are going to follow them in their date, right?"Quinn whispered at Skye who smiled and nodded.

"Hell yeah."


	21. My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to lay on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.

"He isn't coming."

"Shut up."

"I'm telling you, he decided not to come."

"You don't know that."

"It's been five minutes."

"Has it been that long?"Skye questioned snarkily"That explains the white hair."

"Can the two of you stop?"Newt finally shouted. Skye rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue to Charlie who just glared at her. Dan awkwardly tapped his fingers waiting for any new movement or any sight of Matteusz while Quinn looked equally anxious.

"Is there any chance that he saw us and thought we were being creepy?"Brendon wondered to which Dan snorted.

"Oh yes, Newt's pink jumper is very creepy. Obviously."

"Actually, I was talking about Matteusz agreeing to go out with Charlie and not,"-he pointed at the rest of the group who were all sitting near Charlie leaving only one small edge for Matteusz to sit-"with all of us."

"I agree. We were supposed to stalk from afar."Quinn told Skye as Charlie gasped with the revelation. The rest of the group simply shrugged off how they had admitted to be planning to stalk Charlie and each continued their own business."Oh red alert! He's coming, spread out!"

Charlie would never be able to understand how fast his friends could disappear. They just did. He tried to forget about them, drank his entire glass of water and waited for Matteusz to come in. At the sight of the taller boy, Charlie felt his heart exploding. Suddenly, he felt more stressed than ever. Maybe he shouldn't have chosen Breadstix for their first date. Maybe Matteusz was allergic to some of their food.

Or maybe his aunt would run into them and practically murder Charlie for being too sick for school but not too sick for a date.

In both cases, Charlie would die both literally and metaphorically.

"Charlie, hey."

"Um, hi."Charlie greeted in a whisper.

"I'm sorry I was late."

"At least, you showed up." Charlie said before he could process the words that have escaped his mouth. Matteusz smiled at him. Why was Matteusz smiling at him? Charlie would never smile to someone who had stood him up. How could he be so kind? How could he even give Charlie a second chance for what he had done? It didn't make much sense to him-no normal person would be so understanding-perhaps Matteusz wasn't normal.

He was okay with that.

"So, what are we having?"

.

"Look at them."

"We are."

"Won't you just looked at them? They are so pure. Oh and the height difference, you guys, imagine the possibilities!"Skye announced with excitement"Your ship would never. My ships would never unless it's them. No offense Dan."

"Why would I be offended?"

"Because Phan is officially my second otp unless you, Anthony Padilla look-alike, get your head out of the gutter."

"I'm sending you back to the orphanage."

"You already signed up for this, there's no turning back now."Skye shot back and snatched a french fry from Brendon's plate."Now back to my otp becoming canon."

.

"I don't really mind, say the first thing that comes to your mind!"

"Myślę, że cię kocham."

"What does it mean?"

Matteusz stared at him for a while thinking. He smiled softly at him before coughing."It means, this is a nice day."

Charlie nodded and tried to repeat the phrase with an awful accent. Matteusz just laughed in return."You'll learn in time."

"Was this as terrible as it sounded?"

"It was very bad, yes."Matteusz said"But it could have been worse."

"That kind of makes me feel better."Charlie laughed and glanced at his phone"We have been officially in this date for three hours."

"Were you bored?"

"No!"Charlie quickly shout"I-I mean, I wasn't, I'm not. I-I really like being here with you."

"I like being here with you too."Matteusz smiled"But your friends seem a little bored back there."

Charlie glanced behind him to the booth where his friends were sitting. The group, as soon as they realized Charlie saw them staring, tried to act natural. That resulted to Skye putting some breadstixs in front of her face, Quinn and Newt laughing their asses off as if they had just heard the best joke and Dan and Brendon freezing completely.

"I don't know them I swear."

"Of course you don't."

"Okay but I didn't ask them to come, though."

"They're your friends and to be honest,"Matteusz glanced at Skye"I expected nothing less from them."

.

"Are they still watching us?"

"Fortunately, no."

"God please kill me! Spare my embarrassment!"Dan fake cried as he looked at the sky. Quinn laughed at him and playfully hit his shoulder. Skye finally put down her breadstixs while Brendon sighed in relief."Kill my friends too, though! I wouldn't want to go to Hell alone!"

Newt rolled his eyes and let his eyes wonder. He heard the door's bell ringing and glanced at the entrance out of instinct. At the sight of the newcomers, the blonde felt a weird sensation in his stomach. He gulped and grabbed his phone before turning to Brendon."I'm going to go home."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not feeling well."

"Is it because of the food?"Skye blurted out.

"No, it's not like that. I just really need to go."

"Do you want me to drive you, Newt?"Dan offered.

"No, I'll be fine."Newt smiled at them and stood up"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Feel better, sweetie."Quinn told him but Newt was already out of sight. The four friends looked at each other puzzled for a few seconds before Quinn spoke again. She raised her glass and pointed at a group of people-who she assumed-had just come in Breadstix. "I'm pretty sure I know that guy."

.

"So we're leaving."

"Great, let us take our stuff."Skye began not letting Matteusz continue what he was saying.

"He meant that we are leaving, we as in Matteusz and I."

"What about us? What about me?"

"I'll see you and everyone else tomorrow."Charlie quickly said and dragged Matteusz away as Skye shouted at them demanding they returned. Matteusz couldn't hold back his laughter, and Matteusz laughing made Charlie want to laugh as well. He felt happy. It was a nice change.

Not that he hadn't felt happy before. These past few weeks had been great and been reunited with his friends was more than he could have ever hoped for but this pure happiness was very new to him. This happiness was extraordinary just like Matteusz. And Charlie felt as if he never wanted to feel normal again.

The two boys talked and talked until they finally reached Charlie's house. For the first time in forever, Charlie wished his house was further away."So, we're here."

"Yes."

"This was nice."

"Very nice."Charlie repeated uncertain of what to say."We should do it again sometime."

"Yes, that would be very nice."

"This is also nice."

"Yes."

If there was an award for awkward goodbyes, Charlie thought, this conversation would won first prize.

"Um, can I just, er try something?"

"Yes, that would be,"-Charlie gulped as Matteusz nodded-,"nice."

In a matter of seconds, Charlie felt a pair of lips against his own. This time it was for real, no alcohol included and both of them were entirely aware of what was happening. Charlie smiled at that realization. Eventually, Matteusz pulled away with an equally silly smile on his face."That was more than nice."

"Yeah, we should do that  again sometime."

"We probably will."Matteusz grinned"Good night, Charlie."

"Good night, Matteusz."

Charlie continued smiling in his way inside and not even Quill's complains on the time he had returned couldn't bring him down. He was happy today. He would be happy for the days to come and nothing could ruin his mood.

"Y-you're back."

"Oh God,"Charlie breathed as he looked at his cousin"what happened?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I encourage all of you to search what Matteusz said in Google Translate


	22. Free love on the streets but in the alley it ain't that cheap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's okay if you hate me. I hate me too.

The only logical explanation he could find was that the universe hated him. Yes, it sounded quite pessimistic but Newt had made peace with that idea. At least, that was what he believed until recently. He knew he was different than the others and he knew that his relationships with others were not on the normal scale either. But he never really particularly minded because yes, who you are may not always please others but that doesn't mean you should change in order o be loved.

He never needed his parents' approval.

He never needed his classmates' approval.

And he sure as hell never needed that Thomas guy's approval.

Yet Newt needed someone to accept him. He needed to truly feel safe and if he was being honest, not even his friends could provide him that sense of belonging. He loved them, of course, but he couldn't expect them to be his only anchor. They had their own lives and problems and they certainly did not need Newt to whine like a child around them all the fucking time. He already felt bad enough for staying with Charlie and his aunt who, by the way, was not related to him. Newt felt like an unwanted guest, to say at least.

Now, the past few days, were even worse for the blonde boy. First of all, Sonya had let him know that even after his leaving, their father was still having major chest pains. Newt felt happy for a few seconds-maybe that would prove his parents that no, having a child who likes different things from you can not kill you-but then immediately felt guilty about it.

His father-and his mother-were never loving with him. They were violent, usually, either. Not the ideal parenting behavior but Newt figured it could be much worse. And he loved them too. Many people used to say in forums or even in silly tumblr posts that people like him shouldn't love their parents-and that family is not only by blood-but Newt found it impossible to hate his parents. Their opinions may not collide but they were still Newt's family. They were the people that would take him for ice cream as a child when getting a good grade, they were the people that would let him sleep in their bed when having a bad dream and they were the people cheered for him at his last concert.

Yes, they were not fond of his choices and criticized that matter a lot but other than that they were normal parents and since the last few people Newt had met were very cruel to him as well, he figured that maybe he was being very hard on them. Maybe they were acting like that because they wanted to protect him from the cruel world.

"Do you want more tissues?" Charlie asked with a sweet smile. Newt just shook his head. He felt guilty for doing this to his cousin. The poor boy had an amazing date earlier, came back flying on cloud nine, only to come back and find Newt crying completely ruining his mood. He wouldn't blame him if he hated him. Newt hated himself too. "Newt, what happened? Why did you leave?"

"I wanted to give you and Matteusz some privacy."

"If that was the case, you would have dragged Skye with you." Charlie argued"Tell me the truth."

"It's nothing."

"Newt, please."

Newt gulped and wondered whether he should truly tell him. It would probably ruin his mood. Then again, his mood was already ruined."There was a guy."

"Is that not good?"

"Remember the guy from the party?"

"Oh,"Charlie breathed"oh, that's why."

"It was childish, wasn't it?"

"Newt, no it's--"

"It's just last time I saw him, I was humiliated. I cried the next night and it wasn't really as if I had found my soulmate or anything it was just so nice to feel loved for a while. And then it was gone, it simply vanished and all the sweet words were replaced with insults."

"That guy is an idiot, okay? And yes, you had a bad experience but better days will come."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Well, better days did come for me. I have you and Quinn and Dan and Brendon and Skye--"

"And Matteusz?"Newt grinned while Charlie smiled shyly.

"My point is that you shouldn't let assholes bother you, they aren't worth your time." Newt nodded and the two cousins hugged. Newt knew that Charlie was right, still something in his gut told him that things were not going to get any better. Just worse.

.

"You're failing, Dan."

"It's not so important. I can study and I will pass."

"You've never paid attention to class, you are really far behind."

"Sir, I can't fail Spanish. It's a bloody joke." Mr Schuester cleared his throat and ignored Dan's comment about his lesson. He tapped his foot down for some time before speaking up again.

"I have a proposition for you."

"Sir, your Glee Club is great but I'd stick to singing in the shower for now."

"Although, I'm sure you'd be great. This is not what I had in mind."-Dan looked at him puzzled-"At the end of the school year, we're going to put on a play. If you agree to help, as muscles of course I do not expect you to sing, I could be a little more easy on your grades."

"Is it legal making your students do things for you in order to get a good grade?"

"Do you want to fail?"

"Well, I'm not becoming a lawyer so I'll help."Dan laughed awkwardly and shook his teacher's hand before walking away from the classroom.  It's not that he didn't like Mr Schuester but he had to admit that the man liked to blackmail. A lot. It was selfish and very problematic but since Dan needed the grade, he decided to let it pass. The bell rang for their break and Dan made his way at the back of the school; the only place he could smoke in peace and quiet.

"Shit!"he heard someone mumbled as he opened the door"Oh, it's you. I thought it was someone important."

"Shut up, Singh. Or do you want me to go get coach Garrett? I'm sure he'll appreciate your little smoke break."

"Very funny."Ram chuckled and put out his cigarette. The two boys continued laughing for a while before Ram stopped at the sound of footsteps. He watched three kids jump the fence-Dan was certain he had seen them before but couldn't clearly make up their faces-as Ram's smile dropped."Assholes coming in three, two--"

"Well, well, I didn't know you smoke Ramsel."the taller one, a blonde boy with muscles and freckles sneered."That explains why you suck at football."

"What do you want, Galileo?" Dan laughed at that comment.

"We're just dropping by."

"Sure."Ram mumbled and headed towards the door"Don't stay much."

Gally, Dan remembered him from a game between Coal Hill and WCKD, glared at the closed door Ram had left. Dan was certain, though, that he didn't remember the boy just from the game. No, he had seen him before. His gaze trailed off to the other two boys next to him-oh he certainly had seen the other guys around. He threw his cigarette on the ground while chuckling. Oh now he remembered.

"What are you laughing at emo fag?"

"I don't know, it's just your face really makes me want to laugh."Dan continued"Your head is so small, no wonder why a human brain can not fit in it."

"You little shit."Gally mumbled as he clenched his fist. Dan laughed once more and put his one hand at the door to open it. Before that he leaned closer to Gally and made eye contact with the other two guys.

"Between you and I, eyebrows, I think you're little."

Dan didn't really understand how Gally raised his fist so fast but he did and it hit Dan's nose in a second. The taller boy groaned in pain while the other kids from WCKD tried to hold Gally. Dan should really learn to either keep his mouth shut or fix his reflexes.

"What is going on here?" he never really thought that he would say this but Dan was happy to hear miss Quill's voice from behind. "Why are you children so obsessed with beating up each other? This is getting ridiculous."she turned to the others"Get your bloody arses back to your school right this second or I promise I will chop off your fingers one by one."

"I don't think that's legal."the Asian guy whispered.

"It's not legal for me to do it to this school's students. Nobody tells me what I can and can't do to other children. Now go before I get mad because if I get mad, you'll wish to be in this guy's"-she pointed at Dan-"position."

The three kids began walking away and miss Quill helped Dan get up."Go to the bathroom and fix your bloody nose."

"I'm dizzy."

"You'll survive and I have a lesson."she replied and turned on her heels"Fast, mr Howell."

Dan sighed as the teacher disappeared and looked at his pack of smoke. His break was over, Newt's honor wasn't yet restored and he had a bloody nose. Nothing could possible be worse than that.

"Dan?"

Except Phil passing by.

That was worse.

"Oh my God, what happened?"

"It's--"Dan couldn't finish his sentence as Phil had run to his side and began examining his bloody nose. The boy winced a little a the touch but he what to admit it felt nice. Not having a bloody nose of course but the way Phil was touching him. It was so soft and warm and it made Dan forget about the pain. He was glad Skye wasn't around at that moment.

"Um, excuse me?"the two boys turned around slowly backing away from each other. Dan groaned at the sight of the person who had interrupted them.

"You are not excused."

"Dan!"

"No, you say that because you don't know."Dan told Phil"And because you're probably too naive to know what kind of an asshole this guy is."

"So, you know about me."Thomas mumbled quietly. A hint of shame in his voice, Dan grinned, he deserved to be ashamed."You're friends with--"

"Newt."

"Yes, Newt."Thomas repeated as if he knew the blonde's name. Dan highly doubt it and just assumed the boy was a good actor."I don't know what he said but--"

"Newt didn't lie to me, if that's what you're implying."

"No,"

"And you're an asshole."

"Yes, but this is not the point."Thomas shot back"I was a dick, I know."

"You were."

"And my sister made me realized that so I owe him an apology."

"Great, I'll let him know."Dan lied quickly and grabbed Phil's hand"Have a good day."

"No, wait,"Thomas stopped them"I mean it. Look there's a party tomorrow, almost everyone is coming, and I was thinking that maybe he could come to."

"Leave Newt alone with an asshole like you?"

"You can come too, and your boyfriend, Gally will behave I promise."

Dan glanced at Phil, who Thomas had mistaken for his boyfriend apparently, and then looked back at Thomas. He decided that the little voice inside his head that had earlier told him that something bad was going to happen was right.

"We'll think about it."

 


	23. Watching my youth slip away surely is a crime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what else is a crime? This filler chapter that really didn't have to be 1000 words long since it has no real plot. But, I do have an excuse for it; the next chapter is going to be like 4000 words with lots of things happening and it'll be like the second turning point (full of foreshadowing as per usual) for this story. Which is amazing too because we're like very close to finishing the 1/4 of this fic!
> 
> *wait did I mention how long this fic will be? Well....it will be pretty big.

"Do it."

"No, don't you dare."

"If you've ever been my friend--"

"This is personal and you shouldn't."

"The people deserve to know!"

"You're better than this!"

"Give it to us."

"If you do it, I swear I will wipe your existence off the face of the universe."

"I'm trying to drive!" Quinn finally shout at the top of her lungs, stopping the car just as the headlight had turned green. A car behind her honked with irritation to which Quinn replied by showing the unknown driver her middle finger from the window. "Can you guys please, for the love of God--"

"Do not use our Lord's name in vain."

"I will fight you, Urie." Quinn continued glaring at the boy from the mirror"As I was kindly trying to explain, shut your holes right this instant."

There was silence for a few good seconds and Dan sank to his seat next to Quinn letting a relieved sigh escape his lips. Quinn mumbled a thank you and began driving again."Skye wants to make a fan-fiction about me!" Charlie stated out of the blue forcing the peaceful silence to disappear.

"I'm not writing about you. I'm writing about John Smith and his boyfriend Mariusz."

"And you're wondering,"-Charlie looked over at Quinn-"why I'm yelling."

"Not my fault that your relationship is like a chest full of diamonds and fan-fiction tropes. I would be an idiot not to take advantage of it."

"Skye, you can't make Charlie's life a fan-fiction." Dan told her strictly to which Skye rolled her eyes. "On an unrelated note,"

"Can we please go home? I don't want to go."

"First of all, you"-he pointed at Newt who sat behind him-"should have thought of that earlier. Secondly, can someone explain to me why we have so many parties? Like we have exams, tests and projects yet literally every weekend there's a party like we're in Choir or something."

"Choir?"

"It's a stupid American series that Dan watches." Skye explained"It's like if Victorious, Mean Girls  and Pitch Perfect had a child and Joss Whedon directed it that would be it. Awful ships, plot holes, too big budget for nothing--"

"We get it." Dan cut her off clearly offended. It wasn't as if he liked Choir, but it was a nice show to pass the time and most of the covers they did were pretty good. The silence filled the room once more as pretty much everyone ignored Dan's previous question.

"Guys?"

"Yes?"

"I'm almost certain I drove you to the wrong place."

.

"Like I always say, stay close and don't get lost."

"When did you say that again?"

"In the last party Charles while you were snogging your boyfriend."

"He is not my boyfriend." The rest of the group tried to hold back their laughter. Skye fought the urge to quote the Brady Bunch and throw in a casual 'sure Jan' and stepped inside the house. It seemed that with every party thrown, the scene got louder and the teens got drunker. If it was even possible. There were empty bottles almost everywhere, people grinding with each other and the smell of booze, smoke and most likely drugs made it hard to breathe. Skye expected nothing less for a party thrown by the WCKD Academy, where rich kids were just rich assholes that had more creative and expensive ways to end their lives.

"This is making me uncomfortable in so many ways." Quinn whispered as her gaze fell upon a couple that was making out. It wasn't a hate aimed towards the activity itself but what Quinn watched was a tangled mess of tongues, panting and a bubblegum that was apparently exploring the two persons' mouths. "Forget having sex, I don't even want to try kissing right now."

"Don't mind it," Dan chuckled and brought his friend closer to him and as far away it was possible from the couple"it's Ryan Ross, everything he does is a disgusting mess."

Out of reaction, Brendon turned almost immediately to look. The smile he had plastered on his face as soon as they had entered, faded for some seconds. No one noticed the frown he had for a while and if they did, no one commented on it. "Maybe we should go outside." Brendon stated, his voice broke a little at the beginning but he easily covered it with a cough. "I'm not seeing anyone we know."

"That's because we don't have any other friends." Newt replied"Besides that cough was weird, you don't want to get sick."

"Charlie!"

"Is anyone else getting a deja vu right now or just me?"Skye questioned right before Matteusz run in front of them. Charlie's eyes instantly lighted up making Quinn squeal in excitement.

"Matteusz!"he replied in a really high voice"I mean, um, wow is the temperature above average?"

"Did these words actually escaped his mouth?"Brendon whispered to Dan who just nodded sharing the embarrassment.

"How come you're in this room, house and place at this particular time?"

"Somebody tackle him. Now."Newt added in a silent whisper.

"My friend Ram had to come so he said we should come as well. Honestly, it's quite boring."-a glass breaking was heard from the kitchen-"And quite scary, so I'm really relieved that you came. You didn't mention it though, if I knew it I would have dressed nicer."

"Say something, you slinthead."Newt whispered once more.

"Y-you still look very good and smell nice."

"And now we either lost him forever or he's into the awkwardness." Dan mumbled.

"Thank you, you look very handsome as well."-Matteusz turned to where his friends as-"Oh the guys are calling me. But, um, this may be a little straightforward but would you like to meet them? I mean I already know your friends and we're kind of dating so--"

"Wait we're dating?"

"Yes!"the rest of the group replied in one voice.

"We aren't?" Matteusz asked with uncertainty.

"No, no we are!" Charlie was quick to reply"But I kind of have to stay here with my friends."

"Oh, fuck this." Skye told him"Go have some fun with your lover-boy, we can make it through the rest of the night." Charlie mumbled a thank you and grabbed Matteusz's hand. "Why do I always lose my friends like that? Why do pretty boys always take them away?"

"I'm straight." Dan corrected her.

"And I'm the queen of England but that's not our current point. We might have lost Charlie, but for the rest of the night we need to stay together. That asshole who invited us--"

"Invited me actually." Newt tried to say but Skye ignored him.

"May be here and I don't him near Newt. I'm activating mother mode."

"Please tell me I'm adopted then."

"Rude, Newton, very rude and hurtful."


	24. I don't believe a word you say but I can't stop listening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow colorblind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been two weeks and I still feel dead inside thanks to the Death Cure. Kudos to Wes Ball, however, because of that letter that added ten years to my life. Not kudos to Wes Ball, though, for taking away the tragedy of a particular scene. Also I'm not sure how to feel about the Easter eggs/references.
> 
> In conclusion, fuck you Wes and James but also,,, I love you.
> 
> Also this chapter was lowkey inspired by the amazing Thomas Sanders and his video 'Can lying be good?'.

Lying and not telling the entire truth are two completely different things. Charlie has make the difference between them clear to his head. It makes him sleep easier at night and it used to make the sessions with his therapist a lot easier. When they would ask him if he felt sad, he would reply with a simple 'not anymore' and a sweet smile. The therapist would smile back at him and note it down but Charlie would never clarify that the reason he didn't feel sad about his parents' passing was because he was utterly indescribably heartbroken. Another white lie was when his grandmother would blame the lousy pilot for taking away her daughter and Charlie would say that it wasn't his fault. It was-in a way-but Charlie could never get angry at a man he didn't know.

He did blame someone for his parents' death but he would never admit who that was at loud.

But yes, this was Charlie's relationship with lying. A fairly good one. He didn't lie, not often, but he would skip most parts of a truth as often as he had to. Sometimes he thought that if he altered the truth enough times, it would eventually apply to reality."You aren't nervous, are you?"

"No."another white lie. Charlie's hands are sweating, his entire body shaking and he's pretty sure that his heart beats faster than the music playing. He isn't nervous, he's petrified."It's not like I'm meeting your parents."

"Thank God, no."

If Matteusz's voice got a little bit high at the mention of his parents, Charlie did not comment a word on it. He knew better than to question one's family. Those relationship were always tricky.

"There they are." Charlie spots Matteusz's group of friends almost immediately. Tanya is the most noticeable, leaning against the wall, smiling to her phone screen while typing. Charlie isn't sure if she's texting a boyfriend or reading fan-fiction. Although, Skye's face had a different glow when she was in her phone reading. Then again, the brightness on his friend's cheeks could be the result of Skye being a smut fan.

April and Ram are next to her, both too caught up on their conversation to notice their surroundings. They look serious at first-April talks and Ram seems to get lost at her voice-and then he will say something, it's too loud for Charlie to hear, and April will start laughing. Charlie doesn't remember ever seeing April laugh. She smiles sure, sometimes she will even chuckle, but she always look serious not very much the fun type. He likes the school version of April, they talk in class and even if she doesn't laugh at his amazing jokes she's delightful, but this party April seems to be great company as well. He wonders if this change of heart is because of the party or because of Ram.

"Charlie!"April says loudly as soon as she face Matteusz and him. The music is very loud but somehow April manages to speak louder. She brings a stripe of her hair behind her ear and walks closer to them. Tanya notices the movement and puts away her phone while Ram simply puts an unreadable expression on his face. "Matteusz! We were wondering where you've been."

"Yeah, I went to get a drink and bumped on Charlie." Matteusz begins. Charlie waits for him to say something more, but the words never come out.

"Amazing, we love Charlie!"April's breath has a tiny hint of alcohol which Charlie blames for her so easily putting her hand on his shoulder and granting him a goofy smile.

"Love him would be an understatement."Ram mumbles making Charlie raise an eyebrow while Tanya sends him a glare. Both April and Matteusz seem oblivious to the situation. Ram puts his hand in his pocket and smiles, not very sincerely, to the group."I'm going to see if any of the team has arrived yet, I'll catch up with you later."

"Don't die, Ram."Tanya jokingly shouts at him.

"If I do, delete my browser history."

After Ram's lost in the crowd, Tanya slides next to Matteusz."Can we talk for a little bit?"she asks and turns to Charlie"I won't steal him for too much."

Matteusz nods."I'll be right back."

"Oh and,"Tanya turns to Charlie once more"don't let April drink. She gets a bit dizzy."

Charlie figures out that this is a white lie, because April has barely drunk at this moment and she's already sniffing his hair.

.

"I'm tired."

"Did you get your meds?"

"Yeah," Skye mumbles quietly and leans on Quinn's shoulder"I think they've lost their effect."

They haven't. Skye is pretty sure about that. She's also sure that if she had taken them this morning-like Dan had told her-she would have been fine. However, Skye would pick being tired a hundred times over taking her meds. The thing about her insomnia pills was that they worked very well; too well. They granted Skye peaceful normal hours of sleep and sometimes this was priceless for the girl. Yet they were addictive, in fact, when Skye would try to go from taking three pills to two, her sleep schedule would change rapidly and her sleep problems would become unbearable.

Skye liked sleeping but it was not worth being completely out of control and having to rely solely on a pill in order for your brain to function.

"Are you sure?"Dan questioned not fully convinced. Skye just nodded, luckily for her Dan did not push the subject further. She didn't like having to lie to him but this was the best solution for them both. Dan may know what being addicted is like but Skye knew he wouldn't understand where she came from. He'd probably tell her that the pills aren't an addiction and are meant to make her better-fix what's broken-, Skye would disagree and probably compare it to what Dan is taking, harsh words would be dropped and who knew what could happen next. Truth, the painful truth, was that Skye didn't want to be an addict but she was never going to admit that out loud. Not to Dan.

"Hello, my dudes, glad to see you here!"before Skye could react, Noah Puckerman had appeared from behind them-separating the two girls-and placing his hands on both of their shoulders. Skye didn't even want to think where these hands may have been but just a quick sniff was enough for her to know it was somewhere bad.

"Who the bloody hell is this?"Newt asked clearly not remembering the boy. Skye went to open her mouth but quickly closed it since she wasn't sure how exactly to describe Puck. She could go with 'our ex-dealer' or with 'the pig that has not very subtly been hitting on Quinn for about a week'.

"We aren't your dudes,"Dan replied with a sigh"and we're not all male."

"It's an expression."

"Maybe but not in the english language."

"Anyways,"Noah continued ignoring Dan's comment"do you ladies want to dance instead of sitting here and doing nothing?"

"I'm sure nothing is more interested than dancing with you."Newt whispered making Dan chuckle slightly. Noah was ready to answer but his eyes fell on Quinn, who looked as bored as ever, and decided to let it go."What about you, blondie?"

"Oh, I don't dance. It would be very awkward for the both of us."Quinn smiles"But thank you."

"It's fine."it really wasn't"I guess I'll see you around."and with that he left leaving Dan slowly clapping.

"Rejection at its finest."

"He's a handsome guy,"Quinn explained"but I don't want to give the wrong idea. Dancing with a man who's a literal man-slut--"

"Ryan Ross would be jealous."Skye commented while rubbing her eyes. Brendon, who was literally just existing in the background since they got there, lifted his head from his phone at that comment and then looked away. It happened very fast-and everyone were focused on Quinn-but Newt noticed Brendon's unreadable yet pretty odd expression. He didn't ask him about it though.

"--at a party with a bunch of drunk and high teens."Quinn finished and turned to Skye"I'm going to the bathroom, coming?"

"Is there a bed there?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Fuck you, idiot."Quinn laughed and headed towards the bathroom as Skye smiled and rested her head on Newt."Until she gets back, you're my new pillow."

.

"All I ask is for you to tell me the truth."

Kara sighed before taking a step closer to the mirror. She took a dark red lipstick from her pocket and applied it to her lips. She could still Rachel's frustrated expression from the bathroom's mirror but she didn't seem to mind."Is this a bit too much?"

"Yes."Rachel replied looking at her friend's make-up.

"Amazing."Kara smiled"Oh Rach, quit the pouty face. You're a big drama queen."

"Am I?"Rachel asked making Kara roll her eyes."I just want to know."

Kara raised an eyebrow at her. She really couldn't understand why Rachel made such a big deal of it."You know I can't tell a lie to you, Rach, you're my best friend."that made Rachel smile slightly, Kara had never told her that they were best friends. At least not when they were alone."Finn and I haven't fucked."

"Really?"

"Of course not, dear. If we had, you would have been the first to know."she cupped Rachel's face with her hands"I know how much you like him and you know that I only use him to get back at Grant."

"Yes."

"But you must know that if things get bad, I might have to sleep with him."

"What? No."

"Rachel, I love you but you need to think a little more. I have a reputation to preserve,"her voice got a little darker"if it disappears, if I let Grant ruin my name, I will be nothing. And so will you. You like Finn, yes?"

"Yes."

"But you also love your reputation?"

Rachel nodded. It was short and simple, yet so quick that it surprised both of the girls. Kara fixed her posture and continued"I'll try to avoid hurting you, but if it's meant to happen, it will happen."and with that she spinned and walked away leaving Rachel alone in an empty bathroom. She wanted to believe Kara, believe that what she did was for the good of them both. It was like she had said, she would only sleep with Finn if she needed to keep him interested, she would only do it to save her reputation. Prove that she is an idle teen.

If Kara kept her good reputation so would Rachel. Her friend was only looking after her. And yet she couldn't keep the tears from falling down her eyes. She heard footsteps from outside and run as fast as she could inside a bathroom stall. She shut the door closed and hid her face with her palms. However, the laws of crying did not obey to her will and the tears still came out. Her hands were violently pressed against her mouth and she did her best to not make a sound.

A stranger entered the bathroom stall next to hers and Rachel pulled up her legs-bringing them near her face-in case the stranger realized that someone else was there. The stranger, as soon as they finished, opened the sink which made enough sound for Rachel to let a small sob without being heard. Unfortunately, after that she was unable to stop and as soon as the sink was closed a loud sob filled the room. She heard footsteps coming her way and saw a pair of converse  inches away from the door. A soft knock.

"Is anyone there?"

Rachel wants to say no. Still she chooses to remain silent but the female stranger isn't convinced.

"Are you okay?"

She can't bring herself to lie but she gathers all her courage and opens her mouth to blurt out a fake yes but instead a choked sob comes out. Rachel thinks the universe must hate her because the person that opens the door is Quinn Fabray. Her challenge. Hers and Noah's bet. Quinn Fabray the weirdo that talks to herself is standing in front of her with hands awkwardly touching each other and a soft expression that just screams pity. Rachel has never seen anyone looking at her like that-like a broken vase that your dead grandmother gave you-and she doesn't know how to feel about it.

"I-I'm sorry,"she barely manages to speak"I-I should have not come in."

"It's okay."Rachel whispers quietly and stands up."I don't know what got over me."

It's a lie but Rachel doesn't owe anyone the truth. Definitely not Quinn.

"You have some mascara on your face."

Rachel laughs bitterly and looks at her black hands."Yeah I figured. I should probably wash up a little."

"Maybe."Quinn smiles.

"Well,"Rachel moved over to the sink"I mean my make up is ruined which sucks."

"I'm sure you look pretty even without make up."

Rachel smiles.

"I think I have some things in my car, my sister and I share a car and she always have some make up in the trunk in case she needs it, we could go get it if you want."

"I'd like that."

.

"I love beer."

"I can tell,"Dan told Brendon as he poured some vodka in his cup. The two of them had been standing in front of the drink table for about ten minutes and had managed to drink a different drink every minute that passed. Dan didn't really minded-he could handle it."you keep sucking the bottle."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."Brendon shrugged and continued drinking.

"That's gay, mate."

"Well, gay rhymes with yay."

"I need more of this."Dan told himself and drank his entire cup. As soon as it was clear, he saw Phil in the other side of the room."Fuck me."he breathed and placed it down only to realize that Phil was actually right in front of him."You fucker!"

"Where's the wanker?"Brendon shout and looked around trying to find God knows what.

"Dan, hey. I wasn't sure if you were going to come and I wanted to ask you, but like I don't have a number, so that would be a little hard to do-by the way you should give me your number because what will happen if I'm like dying and need to call you? I wouldn't have time to like search it. Plus it would be weird to ask your sister. What's with your sister by the way? You look nothing alike--"

Dan really wants to blame Phil's talking as if he doesn't have an off switch to the alcohol but deep down he knows that this is Phil. He doesn't need to know him that long in order to understand that Phil is one of those guys who just need to socialize with every chance they get.

"Yeah, yeah."he turns around in search of Brendon but finds an empty spot. That drunken bastard left him completely alone in a public environment."She's adopted."

"Oh really? I should have figured it out."

"It's fine, don't you like,"his voice trailed off"have things to do? Away from here?"

Dan didn't really have anything in particular against Phil. He just wasn't in the mood to give the story of his life. All he needed now was a drink-especially now that Skye had most likely fallen asleep somewhere.

"Not really."Phil replied"I mean, I did come with a group of friends but I figured I should spend some time with you as well."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"That's not a proper answer!"he yelled a little bit too loud, but Phil didn't seem to be taken aback. At that moment, Dan realized that the alcohol had finally began working. A sense of adrenaline filled his body."Look, I don't know what's your deal but I would much rather to be alone right now."

"You're at a party so that's a little hard."

"Then would you please make it a little easier."Dan's voice comes out full of bitter and a hint of irony. Phil is a little hurt but the blurry of Dan's eyes doesn't let him see it.

"You're drunk."

"No, Lester,"he grabs a half-empty bottle from the table"I'm just living."

.

"Is she sleeping?"

"She's resting."

"She has climbed you like a little monkey."

"I can hear you, assholes."Skye replies with a yawn. She opens her eyes and realizes that she has indeed put her entire weight on Newt-who can hardly hold her-while Ward looks at her with a huge, annoying, grin."What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Partying."

"Obviously since you're at a party."

"You are also here and you were taking a nap."

"Listen here you fuck--"

"I feel very uncomfortable."Newt whispered as the pair continued glaring at each other with Newt in the middle of it all."If you kill each other, can you not do it in front of me?"

"I was just asking if she's okay, not my fault she thinks everything is out to get her."

"As if robots have hearts."

"I'm not a robot."

"You literally made out with me not even a week after you broke up with your girlfriend, ignored my existence and literally came here as if nothing happened continued acting like Coal Hill's golden boy."

"Are you that bitter?"Grant laughed"Have you already developed a crush on me, love?"

"No, but I do wish I could crash you with a bat."

"And I'm out of here."Newt sang leaving Skye's side and make her fall. Out of instinct, Grant reached out to her barely catching her arms and holding her right before she hit the ground. Her leg got a bit twisted to the side but Skye did not mention the sharp pain. It wasn't even Newt's fault-her wish for sleep had made her body entirely numb and if she wasn't holding on to something, she would have crashed to the ground harder than Dan's face when playing football.

"Let go of me."

"If I do, you'll hit the ground."

"It will be better than this."

"You're insufferable."he let go of one of her hands but Skye let out a big yelp as her leg tingled making him catch her again and helping her stand up."Are you okay?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but,"she tried to move her left leg"if you let go of me, I will murder you in your sleep."

.

"Dude, you're really tall."

"Thank you."

"Weirdly tall."

"I get that a lot."

"Was your mum a giraffe?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure."

"I see."Brendon sighed and continued staring at the poor guy in front of him-who really only wanted to sit quietly in the kitchen and did not expect a very drunk Brendon to barge in looking for some milk."Do you know a Matteusz? You're both really tall so you might be long lost siblings."

"No, sorry."

"Maybe he's your mum, Drake."

"Dallon."

"What gallon?"

"My name is Dallon."the guy explained"You kept calling me Drake for like fifteen minutes."

"You like a Drake."

"And you look like a Brad."

"Close I'm Urie."Brendon laughed and patted the other guy's back"Wait no, that doesn't sound right. Brendan. No, no Brendon! My name is Brendon."

"Nice to meet you Brendon, I think you've had too much drinks."

"That's something you can't prove."

"It's a bit obvious."Dallon told him.

"Well, I don't usually drink."Brendon admitted as he climbed on the kitchen counter and laid on it"This is Ryan's fault you know, and Skye's, and Newt's and Ryan's. Mostly Ryan's."

"Of course it is."Dallon mumbled"Although, I literally have no idea what you're talking about."

"I came to the party for Newt and then Skye said some things and stuff happened. Bad stuff."Brendon continued"But this is Ryan's fault because he keeps on hitting on me and I don't like him but like he can't make out with random people, you know? He flirts with me so he likes me, right? I don't care if he does."he puts his hand in his mouth as a burn escapes his lips"That asshole."

"So you're mad at a guy who likes you because he made out with someone else."

"Yes."

"But you don't like him."

"Exactly. See? You get it, Dumbledore."

"Don't you think that's a little bit hypocritical of you?"

"Why?"

"Because if you and that guy aren't together, why shouldn't he get over you?"

"Because I'm an attention whore."

"That's not a valid argument."

"Then you clearly don't know me."

At that point, Charlie came in running."There you are!"

"Charlie! My love! My favourite Charlie!"

"Get up, we're leaving."

"Why? Dustin and I are having a blast!"

"Dallon."

"It's late and Quill is gonna have my head if I'm not home."

"Fine, bye Dallon."

Dallon smiled and waved behind. At least he finally got the name right.

.

Newt tapped his foot in anticipation as Charlie had gone to get the others. Truth was that Quill didn't give a damn if the two of them were late, but Newt felt pretty uncomfortable being at that party full of people both from his school and WCKD academy. He even noticed a guy from Thomas' group-one that he also remembered calling him slurs some days ago-passing in front of him three or four times. Luckily, he hadn't seen Thomas at all so the night wasn't a complete failure.

"Newt."

At that moment, Newt made a note to himself to flip off God before going to bed.

"You came."

"Dan said you sort of invited me so it would be rude not to show up."

"And you're leaving?"

"I was here for quite some time."Newt replied bitterly"Not that you would know since you didn't really look for me."

"I know."Thomas whispers quietly. Newt is taken by surprise, yes, he didn't really expect the other boy to admit that he was still an idiot."You look--"

"Normal?"Newt questioned looking at his clothes. Just a t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Dark and boyish."I'm sure that was the word you were looking for."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm sure you didn't."Newt sighed"Look, you talked to me, I'm fine-if that's what you were worrying about it-so now your consciousness is clear."

"I just think we got on the wrong foot."

"Wrong is an understatement."

"Could we like try and start again? I mean, I'm not like--"

"Interested in guys. I got the hint."

"I meant to say familiar with this."Thomas corrected"But maybe we could like get to know each other. I'm not that much of an asshole."

Newt isn't sure if that's true.

"I need to go."

"I could drive you."Thomas quickly said.

"I've come with my friends."

"I could still drive you all. I mean, I'm sure your friends must have drunk something and I'm very much sober." if Thomas was to ever look back at all the stupid stuff he had said in his life, every conversation he had with Newt would earn a prize.

"You're not going to take no for an answer."

"Not really."Thomas smirked"My sister says it's the worst thing about me."

"Then lead the way, Tommy."

Thomas knows the nickname is very much ironic but he still smiles when he hears it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah the end of this so I um.....may not update again until the apocalypse arrives. I'm kidding of course, I will update, but it may be a little more late than usual for two simple reasons ; the stress over life has made every limb of my body go numb and I crave nothing more than the sweet release of death,,,,
> 
> It's a thing.
> 
> Happens sometimes and ruins my writing process. But you know I'll be back as soon as possible, stronger than ever!
> 
> (Hopefully)


	25. I need to know that when I fail you'll still be here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,,,, my Easter break is very close-and although prep school gives me only one week-I'm positive that I'll be able to post slightly often for a while. And you know after Easter, we'll be like one and a half month away from summer break! AND SINCE THIS WILL BE MY LAST REAL SUMMER BREAK(because after that I will die) I better update in lightning speed.
> 
> And I will.
> 
> Swear on Brendon Urie's life.
> 
> Butttt still don't forget to show this book some love, share it, comment on it and even scream at me for writing a meme that is like the slowest of burns.

Charlie isn't mad.

He doesn't really have the luxury to be mad, or even troubled, as he impatiently waits in the car for his friends. It may be the alcohol speaking, then again just one beer can't create much of a problem, but at that moment he feels _something_. He doesn't know what it is or what it means but he feels something. He doesn't want to scream, cry or even jump up and down like a lunatic but he needs to do something. He needs to solve something that not even he, himself, knows what it is.

Right now, he just feels a little too much.

The night didn't start like that all. He was in a good mood when he was with his friends and in a fairly better mood when he met up with Matteusz. Still, at that moment, he wasn't happy. Or angry. Or sad. Although, since there was no sign of his friends and Matteusz had to live some minutes earlier, Charlie did feel slightly irritated.

He wasn't mad at them, though, no.

"So,"-there was only one person that he was absolutely furious with-"this is nice."

"Name one reason,"Charlie turned his head to face the passenger at the backseat"why this is in any way enjoyable. Or at least, you know, bearable."

"Just trying to make a conversation with ya."the brunette boy smiles and Charlie fights the urge to roll his eyes. It wasn't as if he didn't like Thomas, it was just that....he didn't like Thomas at all. If he was stuck in a room with Thomas, Donald Trump and Hitler and had to kill one of them, even if it would be incredibly selfish, he would shoot Thomas. And maybe, just maybe, draw a mustache on his face.

He would admit that if something Thomas had been incredibly friendly during all the time they spent together inside the car-it was like twenty minutes and thirty five seconds because _yes_ Charlie kept track of time-but other than that, he was a huge ass to his cousin. Sure, Newt was the one who dropped Thomas in the backseat and announced he would go see what took the others so long-which meant he had either forgiven Thomas or had drugged him and wanted to throw him off a cliff-still Newt must have brought the boy there for a reason.

Charlie did not know what that reason was so he figured he didn't have to be civil with the WCKD student.

"So, um, how long have you and Newt been friends?"

"Birth."Charlie answered simply"You?"

"Twenty one minutes."Thomas said in an attempt to make a joke"Awesome band by the way."

If there was a joke hidden somewhere in this words, Charlie didn't get it.

He saw Newt running to the car with Quinn and unlocked the door. Quinn, stumbling on her feet, managed to get in the backseat by literally jumping on top of Thomas. Thomas let out a yelp of pain and Quinn giggled."What's wrong with her?"

"I have no idea, I found her like that."Newt mumbled as he tried to start the engine. Quinn clapped her hands excitedly and gave Thomas a soft shoulder shake. She pushed herself to the front side-accidentally squeezing Thomas' chest with her heel-and leaned towards Charlie.

"I know! I know!"she announced proudly"Puck gave me jigglypuff!"

"Oh God,"Newt screamed his voice filled with terror"I don't want to know!"

"Is this like a sexual thing? Did you two have an intercourse? Did you use protection? Quinn, how--"

"First of all, _lads_ ,"Thomas cut off Charlie"that's a Pokemon. Secondly, do you mean giggly pig?"

"Yes! That's it!"

"You took drugs?"Newt and Charlie yelled simultaneously as the car began moving.

"No, it's a type of beer or something. It's my friend's secret recipe and lets just say, it's not very light."Thomas explained"I tried drinking one sip from it when he first made it and I looked like, to quote my sister, I had mixed LSD and ecstasy with vodka and then drank it."Thomas explained causing Newt to whisper some curses only for him to hear.

"Hey, I think I've heard of that before."Charlie blurted out"Didn't like a kid die from it?"

"Don't believe everything that's on tv."Newt told him and continuing driving.

"No, no it's true. The kid had too much and the whole thing went terribly wrong."

Newt stopped the car making both Thomas' and Quinn's faces crash on the front seats."Bloody hell!"

"Hey, um, hi. Hallo meine Liebe,"Quinn smiled and stroked her own cheek"quick question didn't we have a tall noodle and two other quirky teens with us earlier?"

"Fuckin--"

.

"Hi, this is Brendon's phone."

_"Dallon! Where the hell is Brendon?"_

"Remember when you kinda told Brendon that you had to go?"

_"Yes."_

"And remember how he agreed and we said our goodbyes?"

_"Yes, and then he told me he would use the bathroom real quick and that he would be in our meeting spot right after that."_

"Yeah, I don't think he's exactly peeing."

 _"What do you--"_ Dallon sighed and put the phone on speaker turning it towards the main hall. A huge crowd had gathered around a very very drunk guy who stood on a table and sang. ** _"Ooh dat dress so scandalous! And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it! See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish!With a look in ya eye so devilis!"_**

_"Oh my."_

"That's not even the worst. Some minutes ago he and Blaine Anderson sang the Piano Man. They cried."

 _"Okay just hold him there. We had to go but um, try to find someone, God you don't know anyone!"_ Charlie cried.

"I know Ryan."

 _"--will be able to find the others."_ another voice that Dallon did not recognize said.

 _"Okay, okay, take him to Ryan and tell him to find Skye and Dan."_ and with that the line went dead. Honestly, when Dallon decided to go to that party, he wasn't expecting to become someone's babysitter."Relax, Dal, you can do this."he whispered to himself. At that moment, the song was almost ending and Brendon was twerking."Yeah, I don't think I can handle this."

"FUCK THEM FUCKBOYS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!"Brendon yelled at the end of the song"BEFORE THEY FUCK YOU!"

"You tell 'em girl!"a tipsy Rachel Berry agreed.

.

Dan could handle alcohol.

It was alcohol that couldn't handle him. Or something among this words. The point was that drinking didn't make his head hurt and the room spinning. But oh, when Dan would drink-no matter the quantity-his feelings would be a mess. He would be, to put it in much simpler words, a ticking bomb ready to explode.

"I'm not a kid."Dan told Phil after retrieving his drink from the other boy's hands"I know how much I can take."

"I don't think you do."Phil argued"You almost crashed on a wall some seconds before."

"Still."Dan continued"You're not my babysitter."

"Sorry for trying to help a friend of mine."Phil replied to which Dan snorted.

"We're barely acquaintances."

"A barely acquaintance of mine then."it was at that moment that Finn Hudson was passing by while making out with Kara-even drunk Dan still wondered how one person can do those two things at the same time-and almost crashed on Phil spilling the drinks that were there on his own shirt. To Dan's eyes he kinda deserved it.

Of course, the cold beverages were enough to irritate the taller boy who pushed the girl away from him and turned to Dan and Phil."Which one of you two idiots did this?"

Dan turned behind him, scanning the room with his eyes for something and then looked at Finn again."Sorry mate, no idiots here."

"You're quite the humorous guy,"he grabbed Dab by is shirt's collar"aren't you, Howell?"

"Wait!"Phil told him"It was me, I'm terribly sorry. It was an innocent mistake." It wasn't, those were the first thoughts to Dan's head. It wasn't Phil's fault and it wasn't a mistake. It was just Finn Hudson being clumsy as usual and yet, Phil was ready to take the blame. A blame that could easily earn him a black eye.

Finn was ready to say something but Kara interrupted him."You heard Phil, baby, it was just a mistake. Drop it."Phil sighed in relief, he didn't really expect Kara to help him. Although if one was to ask Dan about the incident, he would just blame it on luck.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Wrong with me? He was ready to beat you up because you always feel the need to sass your way out of every situation."

"And so,"Dan continued ignoring Phil's remark"you step in like some kind of knight in bright armor."

"The saying is shining, not bright."

Dan grabbed a part of Phil's yellow shirt and snorted.

"Okay fine, I am your knight in bright armor, and I wouldn't have to be if you weren't such a stubborn idiot."Dan was ready to say something but Phil grabbed his hand"And you're right, I shouldn't be that willing to hurt myself for you."

(If Dan was hurt for a moment, he didn't show it."

"Which is why I'm taking you home, before I actually end up with a black eye."

"My friends--"

"Text them. Call them. Whatever. You're going home before you say the wrong thing to the wrong person and we both get punched."-Dan nodded-"By the way, your knight in bright armor doesn't have a horse so I hope you don't mind walking back to the castle."

"You're a buzz killer and an exercise maniac?"Dan shout in a high pitched voice, Phil just glared at him."Fine, sir Phillip, I'm coming!"

.

"You're Ryan Ross, right?"

Ryan, who was still laughing his ass off due to Spencer and Jon doing a drinking contest, turned around and faced a stranger. Although, in his defense, a lot of kids from his school were strangers for him. Among the hundred students, he never thought he ought to know every person.

"Yep."

"I'm Dallon,"the tall stranger suddenly pulled Brendon Urie in front of him"I was told I should give this to you."

"Oh look! It's Ryder!"

"Ryan."

"You look like a Ryder though."Brendon mumbled. Dallon knew he was lying but he didn't say anything.

"His friends left him and he's very drunk."

"Hey! I'm not as you think as you drunk I am."

"My point, exactly."

"It's okay, I got it."Ryan smiled and wrapped an arm around Brendon"Hey, Bren, how are you feeling?"

"Like I'm the king of the world!"Brendon shout with excitement."Hey! Hey! Idea! How about we start a dog ranch?"

"Some other time, now I should probably get you home."

"Aw, adorable."Brendon smiled"I'm honored."

Ryan just smiled back. If the circumstances were any different, he wouldn't act like that. But it was late, Brendon was a new kid, there were many drunk teenagers and he was certain that if the other boy stayed for a little longer, something bad would happen. So he let Brendon lean on his shoulder and guided him outside.

"Hey, Bren?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you wearing high heels?"

"Lets just say,"he yawned"don't make bets with guys in chiffon skirts."

Ryan did not question it any further, but he had to admit, he did make these high heels work.

.

"Nurse!"Newt shout"How is she? Is everything okay?"

"Your friend is fine."the nurse told the three boys"I mean, tomorrow she's gonna be awful because of the headache and all but other than that, she's fine."

"Thank God."Charlie whispered"Can we see her?"

"Of course. Second room to the left." Charlie nodded and ran towards the room. Behind him followed Newt and Thomas, who stood close to each other's side, Thomas occasionally glancing at Newt who looked skeptical.

"Okay so Dan is home and Dallon is in charge of Brendon but,"Newt mumbled as they entered the room to find a dizzy Quinn"where is Skye?"

"Oh!"Quinn exclaimed"She's right there!"

The group turned to the bed across Quinn and spotted Grant Ward sitting nearby while Skye laid in bed, her leg wrapped with band-aids."Hey, you guys!"

"I have so many questions."Newt whispered to particularly no one."But we also have so little time, Thomas do you want a candy bar or something?"

"Sure."

"Great, off we go, bye."Newt grabbed Thomas' arm and waved everyone goodbye"They're your problem now, Charles!"

So to sum up, today had been a weird day for Charlie with his friends ditching him, worrying him to death, his boyfriend not texting him if he had gotten safe home and overall his entire day had been a mix of stress and anxiety. But still, even with his two friends on hospital beds, Charlie was still not mad.

As he figured out, however, later that day, it turns out that Quill _was_ mad.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also! Tell me what references you got in this chapter! There are about three from the fandoms this book is about and one about my newest obsession ;-)


	26. I drink but I choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  I am a good person with a bad attitude.

"Dan, Dan, Dan."

"Shut up." Dan groaned and covered himself with the blankets. He could feel the sun rays on his face, but still refused to believe it was morning. Apparently, though, his big brother did not understand his struggle. "Just give me five more minutes."

"You have five seconds."

"Stop bu--"he didn't manage to finish his sentence as a sticky liquid fell on his face making him open his eyes immediately."What the fuck?"

Adrian just shrugged and handed his brother the empty beer can. "Now I have to take a shower,"he mumbled while rubbing his eyes"what time is it?"

"Six thirty."

"Six thirty? Why the fuck did you wake me up?"

"There's someone waiting for you downstairs." Adrian explained"Now go take a quick shower, you smell like booze."

"That's because you poured beer on me!"

"It's not only that." this time, Dan had enough consequence to know that his brother was mad. He walked to the bathroom with a pair of black jeans and a grey shirt-didn't want to ruin his emo persona after all this time-and tried to recall last night. He remembered drinking. Not too much but enough to have a deadly headache. He didn't remember how he had gotten home though. Maybe he had managed to call Adrian and they had fought over that or perhaps Skye and the others brought him home but that wouldn't explain why Adrian was mad. Skye would never tell Adrian if Dan had relapsed.

Unless of course Dan had done something very serious.

Had he done anything to Skye and gotten her mad?

Maybe he had returned home too drunk?

He was too busy thinking of all the possible scenarios that he didn't notice the water suddenly freezing making him yelp. He exhaled sharply and closed the shower, stepped outside and got dressed as quickly as possible. He walked out quietly, careful not to wake up Skye, and grabbed his backpack. As he bent down however, he realized that Skye wasn't in her bed.

It was almost seven and they had school in some hours and there was no way Adrian would have been able to wake her up that early. He grabbed his bag and run downstairs to the kitchen."Hey, where's--"he stopped himself as he saw Adrian placing a waffle on a dish while giggling with a stranger. Correction, not a strange. Phil fucking Lester.

"Morning Dan!"the boy smiled at him while Dan stood in front of them like an idiot. Phil looked great, he had his own bag standing underneath his chair, wore overly brightly clothes as per usual, and had that idiotic yet very beautiful smile plastered on his face. Beautiful, Dan thought, I think the alcohol is still in me.

"Phil." Dan stated as if this would be automatically be translated to 'Morning Phil, how are you? Also what the bloody hell are you doing in my house eating my cereal?'.

"Manners Daniel."

"Sorry mum."Dan mumbled to his brother and sat down. Seconds later, after he remembered Adrian was mad, he regretted being sarcastic.

"So,"Phil began sensing the tension"how are you feeling?"

"Fine. Why?"his reply came out a bit hostile. Not at all what Dan was going for. Sure, he was not so glad of Phil Lester completely invading his personal space but he didn't mean to sound that unfriendly.

"Phil is just worried about you."Adrian explained and placed-or actually hit-a plate on the table in front of Dan."You weren't exactly great yesterday."

With that comment, Dan thought that if his life was a Vine video the 'oh shit' song would play.

"I think they probably spiced up the drinks."Phil quickly said"Dan barely drank anything."

"He didn't?"Adrian asked surprised and looked at Phil. Dan was also confused, to say at least, he didn't remember how much he had drunk but it surely was a pretty good amount of alcohol. Phil nodded and Adrian seemed to believe him. Dan still couldn't understand how Phil could meet someone and have them fall in love with his sweet optimistic persona in just three seconds.

Fall in love, Dan thought again, wrong choice of words.

"Oh no! We must get going."Phil announced"We'll be late."

"Dan's usually late." Adrian stated making his younger brother glare him.

"Well, it's time I change my ways."Dan said and grabbed Phil's arm"Bye Adrian."

"Bye!"Phil waved to which Adrian smiled.

"Bye guys! Oh and Dan don't forget to pick up Skye after school!"

.

The walk to school was quiet. At times, Dan would glance up to Phil-who would probably by looking at an animal or a tree-or at his phone. It was weird that none of his friends had contacted them yet. Had something happened to them?

"Your brother is nice."Phil blurted out, catching Dan's attention."I like him."

It was then that if Skye was around, she would smack Dan's head for what he was about to say."Wait,"-the two of them stopped and Dan put a hand on his heart-"you have a crush on my brother?"

"What? N--"

Dan continued looking offended and unnecessarily dramatic."Is that why you've been so nice to me? To get in my brother's pants?"

"That's not--"

"I'll have you know those pants are disgusting!"

"I  don't like like him!"Phil shout while holding Dan's both hands"I meant that I liked him like I would like someone's mother."

Phil was so anxious and nervous, saying things fast without even thinking of how wrong they sounded. Dan thought it was adorable which should had probably made him stop the teasing but, in Skye's and Adrian's words, Dan was an asshole."So you also have a mum fetish?"

"No!"Phil screamed in a high pitched voice"I don't have any fetishes and I don't like your brother."

"The second part I can believe, but the first one? Eh."Dan laughed making Phil flustered."I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I got what you mean."

Phil also laughed and let go of Dan's hands. Neither of them would admit it but it seemed their hands fitted perfectly with each other. Dan had felt a warmth in his heart, and despite him still laughing, he felt a bit empty inside like something was missing. 

"By the way,"Dan began"thank you for lying for me."

"Yeah, I saw how uncomfortable you were."Phil explained"Plus, you weren't really being yourself yesterday."

"Skye says I can be a little all over the place when drunk." actually no, Skye uses many more curse words and shouting when she describes Dan being drunk. Other times she just uses the term 'alcoholic' but Dan wasn't going to spill his guts to Phil just yet. Maybe someday but surely not now.

"Well, a sober man's thoughts are a drunk man's words."Phil whispered adding a forced laughed at the end. The awkward silence returns for a brief moment until Phil speaks up again."Do you like me?"

If Dan wasn't already your typical pale British vampire, he would have looked like a pale corpse. Almost as pale as Phil himself."No! No, no, no, no, what? No. Nope. Nopity. God, no!"

"Okay!"Phil yelled to stop him"I got it."

"Yeah, um, why?"

"You kinda implied you hate me yesterday, when you were drunk yesterday."-nope, now he would have looked like a pale corpse- "And I guess, I just thought--"

"I do like you."Dan replied."I mean we're not best friends or anything, barely friends really, but you're pretty cool."

"Really?"

"Really. And give it some time, and maybe you're even reach Friend Level 5."

"Oh, do I get access to embarrassing photos then?"

"No, that's level 6. But you do get to call me silly nicknames."

"Well then,"Phil laughed as they reached the school's gates"I guess I have some work to do, gotta level up fast."

.

Dan didn't like Phil.

Actually no, there was about a 25% chance he liked Phil. But he wasn't going to face those feelings any time soon. He was just going to try and be friends with the boy and see how it goes from there. After all, no great romance started immediately with romantic stuff.

"Hey." Charlie greeted as he sat next to Dan. Well, except Charlie and Matteusz, but Dan wasn't going to compare any of his possible future relationships to Britain's Sweethearts. Newt followed seconds after with Brendon by his side and all of them sat down at their usual table.

"This table seems so,"-Brendon looked around-"male."

"The girls are still in the hospital." Newt explained making Dan spat out the water he was drinking. "Dan, you do remember what happened yesterday, right?"

"Not really."

Brendon just burst out laughing."There's a video of me in YouTube,"Brendon continued laughing"twerking."

"What the hell?"

"But of course there isn't a video of him complaining about Ross." Charlie whispered quietly with a laugh"Quinn had a small accident with drinking and stayed to the hospital yesterday so she skipped today and Skye is still at the hospital for her leg."

"Which she broke and was apparently in so much pain that the doctors drugged her."Newt added"She was convinced that miss Romanoff was a superhero for a while."

"Although she could totally strangle us up with her feet."Charlie chuckled.

"Did she break her leg or something?"

"Yeah. She refused to say how, however." Brendon told Dan"I bet she was hula-hooping."

"Okay no,"Dan shook his head"so Quinn and Skye stayed in the hospital. Brendon is a twerk queen, I was drunk and out of my mind--"

"Phil had to take you home too because we had to drive Quinn."

"You're telling me you two were very boring and sober at the party?"

"Totally. Well, not Charlie. He was drunk on love."

"I was drunk on love? You brought that guy from WCKD Academy with us!"

"Details, Charles." Newt said quickly covering his cousin's mouth with his hand"Also we're grounded. Turns out miss Quill sat on a spinning chair for about three hours, petting a stuffed animal, only to wait for our arrival in order to turn it around and make us shit ourselves."

Dan looked at Newt and then at Charlie before shrugging."Our lives are weird and dramatic."

"And full of twerk!"

"No."

"Also,"Newt smiled"Brendon wore heels."

"I'm never getting drunk again."


	27. I think you could save my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Young love can still be real love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternatively titled ; another filler chapter yay.
> 
> Title taken by Adam Lambert's song What do you want from me and I'm only pointing it out for....future references
> 
> Also next chapter is gonna be awesome and by awesome I mean very adorable-at least that's what I'm hoping.

"Someone,"-Charlie grabbed a piece of toast and glanced at Newt-"is in an awfully good mood."

"Ugh."Quill groaned as she drank some of her coffee. Charlie wouldn't admit it out loud but he honestly believed that so much black coffee had been the reason why her soul was now black. Newt, however, did not seem to mind her negative behavior as he continued looking at his phone with a soft smile.

"Newt, are you with us?"

"Huh?"

"Who are you texting?"

Newt got flustered and brought his phone a bit closer to his chest."No one!"

"Thomas."Quill mumbled making Newt glare at her"Not my fault that you can't hide your phone."

"Oh."Charlie whispered with a look that reminded Newt of Skye. The other boy stood up and grabbed his back.

"I'm gonna go to school now."

"Wait! I have questions."Charlie laughed while grabbing his bag. He left his half-eaten toast on his plate and ran after Newt."Bye Quill!"

(as soon as the door closed, Quill glanced behind her and smiled for only one second.)

.

"Please, don't let me drink without supervision."Quinn told Brendon as she placed a hand on her stomach. Brendon smiled at her and gave her a quick hug."Ouch!"

"Sorry, ballerina."Brendon apologized.

"I feel like that drink ruined half of my body."

"At least you had fun, right?"

Had she? She had. Probably. From what she remembered. She danced, she laughed and she remembered talking to Rachel. Yet she couldn't quite remember what they talked about. Still, when Quinn had gym class while the cheerleaders were practicing, Rachel saw her and waved. Quinn waved back. Not much of an interaction but it had made Quinn a bit happy for the rest of the day.

"Yep. You?"

"I have no idea."

"What do you mean?"

"I remember nothing, the guys said Ryan took me home but--"

"Ryan Ross took you home?"

"Yes?"

"Oh my God you lost your virginity!"

"What the fuck?"

"There's no way Ryan fuckin Ross took your drunk hot ass home and did not take advantage of you. I call that bullshit."

"First of all, when did my naive best friend turned into a Skye."Brendon told her"Secondly, he didn't take advantage of me because we're not gay and Ryan is not an ass."

"Both of these statements are incorrect."Quinn argued"Everyone is a little gay, it's science."

"Since when?"

"Since Phil Lester met no homo Howell."

"I'm leaving."Brendon shout at her, grabbed his math book and began walking to class.

"You can run but you can't hide!"

.

"It's a B."

"No, no it's an F."

"I don't know."Dan told Phil"It looks like a B to me."

"No, Howell, Lester is right. It's an F." Mr Schuester explained to Dan who groaned. The bell rang and slowly all the students left the class. Only Phil and Dan remained seated to their desks, Dan looking at the test as if it where his death date."Is he alright?"

"I don't even know."Phil whispered and lightly shook Dan's shoulder"Dan?"

"I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna fail like never before."he repeated more to himself than to Phil"Mr Schue, you have to help me."

"Dan, you don't know Spanish."

"I know Despacito."

"Not good enough."Mr Schue argued"But my offer about the school play still stands."

This was clearly a blackmailing situation and Dan could easily report it to the principal. But, on the other hand, he was truly desperate. Dan sighed, looked at Phil who appeared confused, and then back at his teacher."What time are the rehearsals?"

"As soon as we find more people to join."

"Great, so excited."

He really wasn't.

.

Ryan was having a bad day.

At least that was what Patrick concluded when he saw him repeatedly stabbing his lunch with a fork. "Fruits have souls."

"I don't fuckin care."Ryan argued"Hey, do you like tall guys?"

"What?"

"Would you date a tall guy?"

"Is this a trick question? Did Pete put you up to this?"

"No."Ryan said not breaking eye contact with whatever he was looking at."But like tall guys are clumsy and unattractive."

"It really depends on the guy. Finn Hudson for example, yes, he's an awful giant but,"-Patrick took a bite of his own lunch-"Dallon Weekes, who you've been looking for about fifteen minutes, is pretty handsome so I approve."

"What?"Ryan yelled making his fruits fall from his plate"What do you mean  handsome? He's like a giraffe."

"Racism towards tall people?"Patrick asked"Tall people are gentle and caring, facts."

Ryan scoffed and continued looking at Dallon was moving towards Brendon, all smiling and laughing. Who was this Dallon, anyway? Ryan had seen him around, but he was always quiet and reserved. Now, however, as Brendon let out a big laugh, Dallon didn't seem as reserved as Ryan thought.

"I think Brendon agrees with me for that one."

"Hey Patrick?"

"Yes?"

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, I'm in a relationship."


	28. You waste all this time trying to get to me but you're out of my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skye almost kills a dog, instead gets more than she bargained for.
> 
> Or
> 
>  
> 
> The dog represents all that is best in man.

__

"Listen, I'm in no state to emotionally support anyone right now."-Dan closed his locker-"I've been spending most of my free time with Skye until she recovers and honestly, I love her, but she's unbearable. At times, I want to suffocate her with a pillow."

Brendon chuckled, briefly forgetting the agony he felt due to the finale of Stranger Things. Dan took off his backpack and placed it near his legs. He then leaned against his cold locker and groaned loudly. "She made me type fan-fiction, Brendon."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Smut!"

"Oh."

"Would her murder worth the jail time?"

"Well, at least you finally learned something about Sex Ed."

"Brendon."

"Yes?"

"Perish."

Brendon casually flipped him off and continued laughing. He then proceeded to grab his own bag and the two boys walked to Chemistry class. Minutes later came Charlie with Matteusz. Dan was certain that if Skye was there, she would lose her mind over Matteusz taking Charlie to class. Now Dan was way less thrilled because of a small detail he noticed.

They weren't holding hands.

This certainly wasn't a big thing to notice but Dan found it very weird that although their fingers were constantly brushing against each other, they were never intertwined. Besides, the two of them had already made out more times than you could count on two hands and they were officially boyfriends so this lack of physical contact was very odd.

Especially since Charlie was the embodiment of physical contact. After Phil, of course, who still failed to fully understand what 'boundaries' and 'personal space' meant. Dan used to mind that a lot about him. Now he's gotten used to it. Maybe even like it a little. Just a bit.

Perhaps in the Marlie relationship, it was Matteusz that had the problem. But that couldn't be it because in every party that Dan had witnessed the extremely uncomfortable tension between the two Matteusz seemed everything but reserved. Maybe he was looking too much into it. Everything were fine.

.

Skye could be reckless.

Sometimes.

Not very often because Skye was a logical, down to earth, serious young girl who always thought twice before doing something.

"You're literally a five year old trapped in the body of a teenager."

"How dare you?"-she grabbed a fork and pointed it at Adrian-"I'm very responsible."

"How did you break your leg, again?"

"No idea, I just thought it was a cramp."

"My point exactly."Adrian told her"Please Skye, just go back  to bed. Don't you remember what happened the last time you disobeyed doctor's orders?"

"Those deaths had nothing to do with me!"

"Debatable."-Skye scowled-"I'm going to work, rest and wait for Dan to return."

"Fine, dad."she mocked.

"Don't make me ground you."

.

Okay here was a known fact for Grant Ward; his friends could be idiots. No, not when it comes to behaving properly because if he was honest he was an idiot too with that part but like, his friends were the stupid kind. Unlike him, the Hudsons and Puckermans didn't want their child to be good at everything and were happy enough to have skilled athletes for sons. Therefore, both Finn and Noah rarely-actually never-opened any school books.

And this was casually going to blow up on their faces.

"You know me, I don't follow the directions."

Literally.

"There was a fucking explosion!"

It went without a question that Puck should never be left unsupervised in the chemistry lab but Finn just preferred texting Kara-Grant was still bitter about it-than actually pay attention to his friend who mixed sodium with water because 'it seemed fun'. The result was a small explosion and the fire alarm sprinkling water on all of the class.

"Details, man, details."

Grant was mad. Mad because he was all wet, mad because who would mix sodium and water but mostly mad at Finn because jealousy got the best of him. He wasn't really mad at Kara or with her behavior, he was mad because Finn was a friend and there was an unspoken rule about bros and ex-girlfriends. Sure, he tried to ignore it but at the moment he felt so angry at everything.

"The solution is simple,"Brendon Urie announced from the other corner of the room"we need to take our shirts off."

"Bren, you don't--"

"Can't hear you! I'm already taking it off."

"Charlie! Throw something at him! Preferably a table!"

Grant smiled at the exchange. Well, not smiled per se, but the corners of his mouth were turned up a bit. It was weird to him how a group made out of introverts, people closed to themselves who couldn't function properly on their own and had a much different way of thinking compared to others, managed to be that happy. And tight and loud.

He had first noticed this behavior in Skye. Skye who was always intimidating, yes, but she was usually quiet and mysterious. She was always there but she was the type of kid you wouldn't notice being there. Now ever since the little group formed, Skye was finally herself. And it was amazing.

She was amazing.

She was beautiful, smart, rebellious and kind. She was weird sure, all of them were, but it was the kind of weird others would appreciate if they got to know her. She was also a bit stubborn, sure, but that would get her places.

At first, Grant liked her because of Kara. Because of the hatred the two girls had for each other and because, if she wanted to, Skye could be as good as Kara. Even better. In this bitter battle of the exes, Skye was a brand new weapon. Then, somewhere along the line, something changed. No, he didn't fall in love with her. He wasn't going to.

But he appreciated her to a certain extent.

He still wanted to crash his ex but he wasn't going to use Skye for just that. She was a nice girl and since there was a small part of him-more tiny than an atom-that liked her he was going to fight for her with only that in mind. However, if this plan eventually lined up with his previous one, he wouldn't complain.

Still, there wasn't much that could go wrong.

It wasn't as if they were going to fall in love.

(Because love is a weakness and he has his head in the game.)

.

Skye wasn't a thief.

She wasn't stealing Adrian's car, she was borrowing it.

And sure she wasn't really in the right place to drive but the house was suffocating her and she had writer's block. So who could blame her? Plus, if Adrian didn't want her to take his car he shouldn't have left his keys inside a small box located behind some books in his shelves. It was right there constantly visible-after of course you removed the books and opened the box-and Skye couldn't help it.

"Finest girl I ever met in my whole life,"Skye sang at the top of her lungs"want to take her home, make her my wife."-a car passed her in incredible speed and she honked him while making unfriendly gestures-"Knew she was a freak when she started talking, she said--"|

In her small life, Skye had learned some things about her.

For starters, she was a ballad kind of girl so her guilty pleasure being The Lonely Island was very heard to be dealt with. Secondly, she was a very passionate singer. Thirdly, she should really be more aware of her surroundings.

_Thud!_

Now there were two possible scenarios.

One; she just hit an old lady. She is severely injured, she is going to die before the ambulance comes, she'll give Skye a letter and thus her adventure will begin as she will search the grandma's long lost grandson who was given up for adoption after the grandma paid the nurses to pretend that the baby was dead.

Two; she hit a turtle. Therefore, a turtle army will be formed to seek revenge. In about sixty years when she will be in her house at the top of the hill, many turtles will come on her doorstep and say 'The turts sent their regards' before murdering her in cold blood. Later they will put her head on a stick and use her as a scarecrow.

Unfortunately, what actually happened was way worse.

"Oh my God!"Skye cried as she run to the side of the small fury creature."Why couldn't it have been the old lady?"

The dog didn't seem to share her dramatic moment as it tried, and failed, to move its legs. Skye decided at that moment that if that dog died because of her, she would close herself in a monastery and lock herself in a room for the rest of her life. She had to think and she had to think fast. Without wasting, anymore, time she called the police.

.

"Dear, you know I love your visits more than anything,"-Mrs Ward told her son as she continued sterilizing her tools-"but today is a very stressful day."

"I can imagine."Grant mumbled"But the house felt so--"

"Stressful?"

"You have no idea."

"Is your father giving you a hard time again?"

"He and Christian. The insufferable duo."

"Don't be so hard on them. They just want the best for you. For us."

Grant tended to disagree with that logic. His family didn't want what was best for him. They just wanted to achieve their goals. His father, being an important figure of the town, had to maintain a good public profile. A loving family with a successful wife, a daughter studying abroad to become a lawyer and three sons that ought to be excellent at everything. Both his father and his older brother, Christian, believed that all Wards are by nature perfect at everything. And if they aren't, then they're just being lazy.

(And his family is not tolerant when it comes to laziness.)

"Can you help me hold him down?"

"Yes, of course."Grant rushed to his mother side and held the dog from its waist with one hand while he stroked it with the other.

"He reminds me of Max,"his mother whispered"you remember Max, right?"

"Yeah, I think."

Oh, he remembered Max. He was his family's dog when he was a kid, a chocolate lab similar to this one, all the Ward kids loved him but mostly  Grant. He adored the puppy and was entirely focused on him. He would feed and water him, bathe him, play with him and take him on long walks. It was the first time he had felt love for something-as if it was big part of who he was.

Then he lost that one game and Max was considered a distraction.

(He was never told what happened to Max but one day he just came home and he wasn't there. The Ward children never brought him up.)

"What happened to him?"

"A girl hit him with the car. Luckily it wasn't severe, his left leg is slightly wounded but he will recover soon."

"Does he have an owner?"

"He's full of flees, so I think he's a street dog. Otherwise, he's owner is a very terrible man." after his mother had wrapped up the dog's leg, Grant picked it up and the two of them walked outside. And there in the hallway stood the last person Grant would imagine when thinking of crazy ladies traumatizing innocent creatures.

"You hit a dog?"

"Your mum's a vet?"

"Ah, you two know each other?"

"Yeah,"-Grant put down the dog and handed Skye a brown leash-"but last time I saw her, she couldn't walk very much."

"I could walk just fine."

"You almost run over a dog."

"That had nothing to do with my leg."

"Sure it didn't."

"I'm sorry to interrupt."Mrs Ward chuckled"But as I was telling my son, miss,"

"Skye. Skye Howell."

"Skye, what a pretty name,"-if the woman smiled at her son with a grin as she spoke, neither Skye nor Grant noticed as they both looked at each other or at the dog-"as I was saying, this little guy will be fine but he should rest his foot for as long as he can. If you want, we can call an organization and they could take him in a dog shelter so he can fully recover."

"Will he find a home there?"

"If I'm being honest, not anytime soon. He's a very pretty boy and well-behaved, but we don't know for sure if he's purebred and I doubt people will be interested in him for the time that he only has three functioning legs. He might be adopted eventually but not soon."

"Oh."next time Skye wouldn't ask for an honest reply."Could, um, could I take him?"

"Well that would be, very kind, but there's a procedure and you'll need to be very responsible--"

"I'm willing to do it. I promise I'm not as a lousy animal taker as I am a driver."

"Well then, come we'll make the papers."

It appeared the day Skye Howell would stop surprising Grant Ward hadn't come yet.

.

"Hey Dan."

"Hey Skye."

"It was quite lonely here without you and Adrian."

"Was it?"Dan laughed warmly and opened the fridge.

"Yeah, so I figured I needed a little company."

"Not to be mean, but you literally have like five friends."

"I have more."Skye tried to defend herself"So I invited a buddy to sit with me, make me feel less lonely."

"Really? Cool."

"He's a bit more fury than most buddies though."Skye laughed awkwardly"And not very talkative but loyal."

"Skye?"

"Yep?"

"Did you get a cat?"

"Cat? Who? Me?"Skye continued laughing"I got a buddy."-Skye whistled two times and a dog sprinted towards Dan.

"Skye! That's a dog!"

"He isn't a dog. He's Buddy."

"That's it! I'm moving in with Charlie and Newt!"

 


	29. Now lets be clear; I'll trust no one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trust gets you killed. Love gets you hurt. And being real gets you hated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An excuse, an excuse, er I have exams coming up?
> 
> Also do you know what makes people update more regularly?
> 
> Commenting. 
> 
> Oh heads up, I've watched Hamilton too many times and so my writing and perspective has been influenced by it....and trust me it shows.

Lives are like plays. There are the main leads, the antagonists, the secondaries and so the list goes on. Other people claim that this is a rather problematic way of viewing things. Here's where the issue lies; some will say that as a person you're the type that history has its eyes on meanwhile the opposite party claims that everyone is the hero of their own story. Now if Newt had to pick a side, had to fit in with one of society's basic life theories, he would most likely agree with the first one. Simply because in all of his life, Newt had been a minor supporting character in someone else's life.

He wasn't complaining though. Being in the back, keeping a somewhat low profile, was perhaps the reason why he was still alive and breathing. He thinks of people that stand out and his whole body shivers. Where to start? Quinn used to stand out. A shy girl with a tendency for talking to herself and to people that weren't really there. Skye, back when they were younger, used to be the orphan of the school that no one would adopt. Bastard, that was what small children who did not know of the burden that words carried said. Even himself who had learned to not overdo it with the feminine clothes and behaviors, hoping he would make a new start at Coal Hills. In the end, once the bruises from his old classmates had healed, Newt realized that the less you stand out, the safer you are.

And then there was Charlie. Charlie who wanted to walk freely in his school, holding hands with his boyfriend without having to check for jocks beforehand. Charlie who was mocked daily, whose behavior was frowned upon, who had people actually being afraid to touch him with fear that they would get infected. It was a joke, Newt had understood that, but even so, a person-an actual 17 year old who had received proper education-had voiced such a horrible joke. It made Newt's blood boil.

Still he didn't do anything about it.

See, Charlie was his cousin. But he wasn't entirely his blood. Charlie's parents were both wonderful people, his mother lionhearted and his father a respected genius, they had taught him well. Taught him to be proud of his identity. Whereas Newt's parents had taught him that by being himself, Newt would sent his father to his grave. It was this difference that made the two cousins stand out. One did not hesitate, refused to stand out, fought for what he stood for and the other lied in waiting.

Waiting for a change.

Waiting for a wake up call.

Waiting for Thomas to text back.

"Here."

"Is this for me?"

"I did say 'here' and placed it the cup in front of you so, it's obviously for the cat."

"We don't have a cat." Newt told miss Quill as he hesitantly took a sip from the coffee in his cup. It was a bit too bitter but last night had exhausted him so much that he would take all the caffeine he could find. Usually he found himself sleeping early and waking up at dawn, but yesterday Thomas had texted him multiple messages-most of them were ridiculous jokes-and eventually they both lost track of time. Now Newt had only slept for an hour and had a huge headache-but he also possessed a nice little video of Charlie snoring so in the end it was worth it.

"We should get one." Quill simply replies and pours some coffee in her own cup. 'We' is a strong word to use at that point and Newt is certain that Quill didn't even think about it, in the end it doesn't mean that much unless you look more to it, still it makes him smile in the inside. We. We, to him it means a lot, because he's been living there for a month and he had always feared that one of these days they would kick him out. It means that in his mind, maybe in some months or so, he'll consider this a place where he belongs.

"You didn't have to make me coffee."

"Consider this the one good deed of my life."

"Thank you."

Quill nods and grabs her purse. "Next time, stay up studying instead of lovemaking."

He doesn't correct her. He just stays frozen in the spot as she walks away. The door has been closed for some minutes, Quill was already a block away, and still Newt was left dumbfounded. The sound of footsteps alerted him as a bouncy Charlie entered. "Morning!"

"I think Quill's a witch."

"I've been saying the same thing since I met her."-he grabbed a glass of milk-"How come you're drinking coffee?"

"Quill made it."Newt announced"I'm almost certain she didn't poison it."

"Made coffee and left earlier than us?" Charlie seemed too caught up in his thoughts for a while. He suddenly gasped for a brief second and sat next to Newt. "Ballon must have returned."

"Who?"

"He's a friend of Quills. Moves around, spends like only three months per year here." Charlie explained"She's usually in a good mood when he comes."

"Have you met him?"

"Once. It was a very awkward meeting."

"Do I wanna know?"

Charlie sighed and took a sip from his milk."Truly speaking, it was I who didn't want to know."

.

"Quick give me a heads up, what did I miss?"

"Basically the late eighties."

"I approve of this reference."-Skye high-fived Brendon-"But seriously!"

"Homophobia still rises in Coal Hill."

"I'm exhausted."

"We have a dog."

"I'm going to try for demi-soloist in ballet."

Newt remained silent as Skye clapped her hands. "It feels as if nothing has changed!"

And that's the bad part. Things have changed and Newt isn't sure if that's okay anymore. He wants to tell them so much. He wants to tell them about Thomas, about the talks they've been having, about how he makes him feel so helpless. He wants to tell them about the small fight he had with his sister a while ago, about how she got into a fight with some people in her school for calling her older brother names. He wants to tell them about his dad.

But he doesn't. He remains silent because he's only been back for a month and he can't suddenly be open about everything to everyone. Not even to his friends. Not even to Charlie.

"By the way, do you guys need a ride?"Quinn asked Charlie and Newt"I'm always driving Brendon and the Howell's car is broken so."

"If you can, yes."

"You don't have to pick me up. I actually have a small project to do so I'll stay in the library after school."

"Oh, a library!" Skye announced with excitement"Is it like that one Friends episode? Are you going to make out with someone?"

"Er no."

"Skye needs to get a personal life because she is currently too emotionally invested in ours." Brendon mumbled and grabbed a bite of his toast.

"Skye's personal life should be the dog she brought." Dan shot back.

"Buddy is fine. Grant and I have been taking him on long walks."

"I'm sorry, Grant as in Grant Ward?" Skye simply shrugs and the whole table goes mad. Newt chuckles and uses the shouting to his advance, he quietly but quickly opens his phone and types a message.

.

It's raining.

It's typical, it's London, but still Newt can't believe that it is actually raining. He's standing near a parking spot next to their school and checks on his phone. His friends must have left almost an hour ago and Newt regretted not calling them, making a lame excuse, and have them picked him up right away. He was supposed to meet Thomas, about half an hour ago. Key word here being the 'supposed'.

His phone buzzes and Newt is sure that it's Thomas and maybe two or three apologies. A lazy excuse why he couldn't make it. Anything. Instead he sees his sister's picture flashing on his screen. He figures she wanted to apologize for their earlier disagreement. And Newt loves her but at the time he feels so mad at everything that he realizes that by answering the phone he'll only make things worse.

Sonya keeps calling and Newt keeps ignoring her. A bad coping mechanism but that's all he knows. He takes his phone once more and scrolls through his contacts. He finds Thomas' number and dials it. It rings for at least two minutes before someone picks it up.

"Hello?" it's a woman. Newt curses himself for thinking this wouldn't happen. He hangs up quickly and feels more stupid than words can describe. Even after what had happened he actually thought that maybe, just maybe, they could--no. No, Thomas never told him that. But he implied. Oh God, he implied it so many times that Newt's heart ache only with the memory. All those texts and apologies. Had he really misinterpreted them that much?

How could he have been so naive and foolish?

When would he learn that people like him didn't find love?

"Hey, Newt!" the blonde turned around to see Thomas a few meters away in a blue jeep honking. "Get in!"

Newt sighed and did as he was told. "I'm really sorry, I had a flat tire and my phone was at home and I thought of walking here but like I was dead after three blocks."

"It's fine." Newt says and smiles. He tries to forget the tears that had formed in his eyes a while ago and glances outside. "So where are we going?"

"Wherever you want."

.

They go to a small cafe and talk. They talk about everything and suddenly Newt, the closed and reserved Newt, finds himself unable to stop speaking. Both of them become an open book, everything they said found them in total agreement. It made Newt almost forget what had occurred earlier. A young guy around their age comes and takes their orders and Newt is constantly being skeptical about whether he should smile at the stranger, just because he was feeling love-struck it didn't mean he should not be polite, or look at Thomas.

"If I'm being honest, I'm surprised you came."

"I was the one who suggested we met, wasn't I?"

"No, I know I just assumed your friends would not be that thrilled about our meet-up."

"They wouldn't approve, yes."Newt whispered. There was no point in lying. The few friends with who Thomas had spoken had voiced their opinion of him very loud and clear. "Which is why I didn't tell them."

"Really?"

"Well, they tend to be just a tad overprotective."

"With time they'll learn not to be."Thomas smiled"I'm not bad, I'm just a little all-over-the-place and usually speak before I think."

"I've noticed."

"I'm s--"

"You're sorry, I know, you've mentioned it a couple of times."he chuckled"I know you think that I'm this small little bird who was called a bad word once and is suddenly broken beyond repair but I'm far from that. I've met people like you before, I have still so many assholes to meet, I was mad, yes. A part of me still is. But slurs won't ruin my life."

Any further, he thinks of adding this but chooses against it. This isn't the right time for a sad backstory. At that point, the barista comes and hands them their coffees. Newt picks up his own and finds a small note with 'u r cute' and a heart next to it. The name Aris is scribbled on the other side.

"That's good, I wouldn't want to hurt you."-he takes his hand and smiles-"I think I like you."

"What?"Newt almost pours his coffee on top of him while his leg is twitching because of his phone buzzing again. At the last minute he holds his coffee with both of his hands and breaths heavily. "Don't say things like that!"

"It's too soon I know--trust me. But the thing is, I think of you all the time and I like talking to you, and I don't know what's happening with me but my sister says it's probably a crush. I mean, she knows about that stuff, have I told you about her crush? She has liked my best friend, Minho, for like three years straight and honestly--"

"You think of me all the time?" Newt asks in a childlike voice, if you were close enough, you would be able to hear Thomas' heart shatter at that very moment.

"Yes."

For the very first time, Newt can't help smiling as he holds Thomas' hand tighter. All the things that happened earlier from his sister to the girl that picked up Thomas' phone-who might as well have been his sister if he had spent more time thinking about it-to the barista vanished in thin air. Thomas smiled back at him, his own worries disappearing, Newt's smile made it seem as if the world was okay again.

 


	30. Why am I not scared in the morning? I don't hear those voices calling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsters don't sleep under your bed. They scream inside your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been in a very bad place emotionally lately so.....technically what follows I'm not responsible for. On the bright side, you know what came out? Many things. Pray for the wicked, The Now Now and TØP released two new songs. So I bet you can find forgiveness in your heart.

Skye is a very ungrateful person.

She was one of the lucky kids, adopted relatively fast. But then she had to destroy everything. She had to ruin her own life and fail in the one thing she was supposed to do; be a good kid. Scratch that-be a wonderful kid. One that could keep her family together. Or, at least, one that wouldn't drive her parents mad. One that would make them stick around instead of avoiding having to do anything with her.

Maybe the people who raised her were not exactly made to be parents nor the world's greatest couple, but Skye couldn't help wondering how two people would give up on a child just like that. Was she truly that awful? An embarrassment, a failure. Probably. Besides how many people developed insomnia from such a new young age?

Then, suddenly, God in all his kindness helped her again. He sent Dan her way, he sent her not just a friend but a soulmate. Not in a cheesy romantic way-that would be like crushing on her brother. Dan was everything Skye was and wasn't. Not the identical other half but someone who Skye could count on from the very first moment. In the end, it was he-and his family-who saved her. Skye, orphaned and alone, was taken by the Howells who offered her everything a child needed. God had saved her once more.

But there lied the problem; Skye was an atheist.

She lived in a pretty big house. No parents, or parental figures, to control her. Just her, Dan and Adrian. She was pretty, not in an extraordinary way that had boys falling on her feet, but a kind of normal everyday beauty. That earned her the minimum amount of respect, unlike other people such as the incredibly thin Joe Sugg or the somewhat chubby senior Mercedes Jones. On top that she was smart enough to have average grades and was incredibly good with computers. It was the combination of all that, along with the smart-mouth she had, that prevented people from bullying her. Sure, she did listen to the occasional 'emo is dead' and 'bastard orphan' but those were rare. All in all, despite the rumors and glances, Skye's life in both home and school were great.

But for her it wasn't.

If it was, she would be able to sleep. If her life was so idealistic and perfect, she would be able to sleep without having to wake up seven or ten times. Yet no matter how hard she had tried, she could never find the flaws of her life. That was until she was reunited with her childhood friends. It was at that moment that Skye filled up a hole whose existence she had forgotten. But because it was now filled, she expected things to get better.

They didn't.

And this was why a voice in Skye's head told her she was ungrateful. A lonely teenager that had five amazing friends. An orphan who had found a family herself in the form of a moody teenage boy and his older brother-along with their new dog. A failure that could be successful in the future if she worked a tad more. A sleepless tragedy that just wanted to close her eyes.

"Of all the questionable things I've seen you eat, this has got to be the worst." Dan stated tiredly as he sat next to Skye. The older boy rubbed his eyes and took out of his phone. :What is even this thing?

"A smoothie and some tuna."

"It's morning."

"So?"

"Why?"

"I needed a change." no, she didn't. Her normal diet consisted of two maybe three cookies before going to class. But today she had decided to eat fish, lettuce and pretty much combine milk with almonds and walnuts to make a very weird breakfast. It certainly wasn't the best choice but according to the internet, those were some of the foods that could help-they actually claimed it would cure but Skye knew better-with her insomnia. She hadn't slept in three days and she desperately needed it. Even if it meant that she would fall asleep during class.

"Still disgusting."he insisted causing Skye to stick out her tongue to him. Dan ignored her and poured some milk on his cereal. A mere second passed and he took a sip from her smoothie."Yep, not very nice."

"Dude, gross."Skye replied before grabbing Dan's ball. She pushed her own plate away and began eating his cereal.

"Ew girls have cooties."

"But boys still ask for nudies."

"I will ignore this entire conversation."Dan continued"Now give me back my cereal, you cereal thief."

"Very original."

"It's morning!"Dan fake cried as Skye passed him the bowl. Similar to a small child, Dan began eating with a silly smile. Skye could only laugh and let herself smile. There it was; one of the many domestic moments that she experienced in the Howell residence. And yet she was still sad. Still missing something.

Ungrateful, the voice inside her head repeated. Skye quickly shook away that thought away. Oh why did her day always become progressively more negative and cruel?

.

Brendon always wondered why depression struck at night.

Mornings were definitely a lot more stressful than nights. He woke feeling relatively happy, then as soon as he had breakfast, his mood changed again. He hated when that happened, moods should not change just like that. Suddenly, he missed his bed's warmth and desperately wanted to shelter himself from the outside world. Still, he moved to the kitchen and found his sister holding a glass of juice. She usually woke up before he got to school-from what he had noticed-so seeing her up so early was weird enough.

"Hey Bren."

"Morning."he replied with a deep voice. It made Kyla chuckle.

"Did a demon possess you or something?"

Brendon rolled his eyes and coughed to clear his throat. "Nope, it's the drugs."

"I know you're kidding but please don--"

"No, no I'm serious."Brendon cut her off"My pills. Sometimes they have a weird effect on my voice like I'm slightly sick? But it passes."

His sister just nodded. Was this conversation awkward? Was he unable to be normal even with his own sister? He thought about it for a while. Perhaps, she thought it was her fault. That she could no longer communicate with him, that things had changed between the two of them. They had but this was certainly not a problem. Quickly, Brendon ignored his bad mood and smiled.

It was almost painful.

"So, how come you're up so early? Anything important happening?"

Kyla smiled back at him."Yeah actually."she proceeded and told him about a big event happening in work. Brendon would be lying if he said he didn't space out while pretending to be interested. It was an awful thing to do but no matter how hard Brendon concentrated he couldn't actually listen to his sister. At the moment he just wanted to return to his bed and stay there for the rest of his days.

Still, Kyla couldn't know that. His sister knew he was depressed, yes, but she hadn't been living with him long enough to know how his depression worked. Kyla just assumed that he would get really sad from time to time and that because he was taking pills this would rarely happen. Just like his ADHD. His sister was certain that the use of a colored pill could work as a long-awaited savior from his feelings.

And it wasn't as if Brendon could exactly shatter that illusion.

This would lead in a mental breakdown either from his or his sister's side and sooner or later, his anxiety levels would be off the charts. He couldn't have that. He couldn't deal with morning stress, the nights were already a nightmare. And in the end this was why he preferred to avoid all problems and feelings and just let them all suffocate him once darkness arrived.

Perhaps they would be kind enough to kill him.

.

Quinn Fabray was not a bad person.

Not even a chaotic neutral.

Honestly, she couldn't find any reason why she was suffering. She lifted her left leg as high as she could and tried to stay still for at least a minute. She took deep breaths while glancing at the clock to make sure she would be ready in time for school. It was a known fact that she shouldn't wake up so early to practice on school days but with her upcoming audition approaching, Quinn had to bleed.

Metaphorically and literally.

She had to push herself to her limits. She needed to ace this audition, even if it meant crying herself to sleep because she feared that something would go terribly wrong. Perhaps this was better. Whenever she fell asleep, she ended up having nightmares about her audition. Would wake up sweaty, a mess, she appeared pathetic. Maybe she was.

"You can go a little higher than that."Ryder instructed"Breathe from the nose, not the mouth."

Quinn nodded and did as she was told.

Any other person in her shoes would have dropped everything and finally confront their parents; the anxiety was slowly eating her alive and her imaginary friends had made a comeback. But Quinn was Quinn and Quinn could never be open about her relationship with Marley and Ryder. She just knew that they always appeared when she was in need.

They supported her. They helped her in the dark nights. When they appeared, any feeling of low self-worth or even suicide, happened once and it was a very dark time for her, vanished in thin air. They didn't die-she knew that somewhere in the back of her mind. But they were still gone for some moments. Marley and Ryder were making them disappear.

She was thankful for that.

"Great! You're doing it, Quinny." Marley cheered for the blonde. Quinn couldn't help smiling. Yes, the nights were dark and cold, full of insecurities but it only took some moments with Marley and Ryder to realize how paranoid she was. She believed in herself. She would do great.

And that was exactly what she loved in Marley and Ryder. The sense of clarity they filled her with. She couldn't have that with her real friends. Sure, they would be as supporting as the duo was but not in the same way. If she ever talked about these stuff with Brendon, Newt, Skye or Charlie-Dan was just not good with words in general-they would all show their support and cheer her up.

But they would be lying.

Because this was just what they did.

They lied.

"You really think I was good?"

"Of course."Ryder smiled at her"When have we ever lied to you?"

Never. They had never lied.

Brendon had when he offered her friendship. Skye and Dan when they swore to be together forever. Newt when he had agreed to be with them until the end. And Charlie at her birthday, when he promised to stick around. In the end, they all lied.

But Marley and Ryder didn't.

They would never.

.

"Why won't you just let me be?"Newt yelled at the person in the other line"I'm as far away as I could."

 _"But your decisions still affect us."_ his mother shot back _"Your poor sister's hand is broken."_

"That was her choice. Not mine."Newt replied while pacing around the room. Charlie raised his eyebrow, trying too understand what the conversation was about without showing too much interest. "Maybe you just raised her too well. Just like you, she can't accept that her brother is a bloody fag."

Charlie cringed. He was certain that Newt was cringing internally as well. His voice was loud and rough in an unfamiliar way. Charlie strongly believed he would burst into tears in any moment. He looked at his phone and thought of calling out for Newt and have him hung up. Or maybe Quill would wake up and she would grab his phone and throw it away. Yet, Quill didn't show up and Charlie stayed still.

_"She got that defending you."_

"Defending me? Oh, I bet. If that was the case, you wouldn't even be talking to me. You would have already blocked me and declared me dead."

_"Newton--"_

"It's just, why won't you let me go? Why can't you leave me live my life like I want to?"he continued ignoring his mother"I'm insignificant. Not your only child, not the smartest one nor the most pretty, am I? You have your golden star. Pay attention to her. After all, I'm just a sodding disappointment."

_"That's n--"_

"Goodbye, mother."he said and hung up.

"That didn't sound very nice. Are you feeling okay?"Charlie asked to which Newt shrugged. He clearly didn't want to speak about this further and Charlie wasn't going to push him.

"Sometimes, they make me want to set my soul on fire. And self."he simply told his cousin"It's stupid. They don't even care. They just wanted something to make their life exciting and less boring."

"Newt."

"Because in the end, that's what I am. A bloody hobby." he stated loudly as if he was yelling in no one in particular. He pressed his hands against his forehead and groaned. Charlie walked up to him and wrapped his arms around him. The other boy bent down a bit and buried his face in Charlie's neck. "What have I become?"

"A mess."

"Thanks, you prat."

"But hey we're all messes here."Charlie explained"You're not alone in this."

"At least you don't have parents that hate you."

"I don't have parents in general."Charlie replied quickly making Newt feel guilty for speaking without thinking. It was an annoying habit he had gotten from Thomas but luckily Charlie did not pay much attention to it."I have an aunt who hates me though, not really because of my sexual preferences, but I do believe Finn Hudson has in it for me."

"A real arsehole."

"True. You know who else seems like a real arsehole?"

"Nope. Not doing this."Newt told him as he quickly backed away from him. He grabbed his backpack and began moving towards the door. Charlie grabbed a bottle of water and his own pack and run after him.

"I'm just saying! WCKD is bad, mate!"

.

"Do you ever think that soon Judgement day will arrive and suddenly we will all realize our insignificance?"

"Dan, my amazing friend, best brother in the world, a living meme, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?" Skye questioned as Brendon was left staring. Quinn returned to her food shortly after Dan had made that comment and Charlie was too busy stealing glances of his boyfriend. Newt was also in a lovesick mood, constantly sending cute texts with Thomas. Skye swore she saw some memes too. She approved of this relationship.

"Miss Ames was our substitute for the day with miss May being in the hospital for her hand."Dan simply explained"She talked to us about how small life is and how we're all like ants in the garden of God."

"Didn't seem like the Christian type to me."Brendon mumbled.

"She isn't."

"Buddhist?"

"Nope."

"Islamist?"

"No."

"Satanist?"

"Honestly, no one knows."Dan answered"Truth be told, I think she has her own cult."

"Could be Christian, though."Skye added"She has a weird obsession with angel statues."

"This school is great."Newt chuckled not even lifting his eyes from his phone."Just like us."

"If great is a synonym for weird."-Skye punched Dan's arm playfully-"Hey now, weird is the new cool."

Newt could only laugh at Dan's comment. He returned his focus on his phone and watched the notifications pop up. Texting Thomas did miracles for him. It made him feel less alone and loved. Not that Charlie didn't love him-or his sister for that matter, despite what he had said earlier-but it was nice being loved by someone who didn't have to love you. It made  him feel important.

Speaking of Charlie, he had taken out his sketchbook out of boredom and drew something. He began by drawing a sun with some clouds. They didn't really do justice to Charlie's talent but it was the best thing he could do on foot with all that noise. He lifted his head up and scanned the room until he found Matteusz standing next to April. He smiled to himself and continued sketching. This time a person.

Quinn watched the small exchange and smiled. She shook Skye and subtly pointed at the direction of Charlie. Skye giggled like a little schoolgirl and tapped her fingers on the table. "Can you feel the love tonight?"she whispered-sing off-tune.

Charlie did not bother paying attention to her.

"It's morning, love."Newt mumbled.

"Okay, okay I got it."Dan exclaimed with excitement. He cleared his throat"Then I saw _his_ face, now I'm a believer!"

"Not a trace!"Quinn jumped in"Of doubt in my mind."

"I'm in love,"Brendon sang as Skye whispered some 'oh's"and I'm a believer."

"I couldn't leave him if I tried."both Newt and Skye sang in harmony. The group stopped and waited for a reaction from Charlie who simply sighed and put his blog down. He looked at them dead serious and all awaited him to make a scene.

"WHAT'S THE USE IN TRYING--"

.

"They are singing Smash Mouth."Kara mumbled with a disapproving look. Finn who was too busy eating to notice what she was saying just agreed with a 'yeah yeah baby'. Grant wanted to laugh with the exchange. Just another proof that Finn was just a toy for the head cheerleader to use.

"I don't know."he said as he glanced at the table across the room"They seem pretty happy with themselves."

"It's idiotic."

"It's friendship."he argued"And love. Nice feelings, you should try them."

"Whatever."she shot back"Rachel, bathroom."

"In a minute."

"Now, man hands." Rachel simply got up and followed Kara outside. Even her brother felt a bit sorry for her.

"Sometimes I really want to punch her."Noah whispered"But she's a girl and that would be just cruel."

"Please, don't let that stop you. Equality is equality."Grant replied bitterly and continued looking at Skye's direction. He watched the girl raising both her hands simultaneously with one Brendon Urie and them both doing some silly dancing moves. He smiled a bit. It was quick and you would have to pay real close attention to it but his lip twitched.

This girl was truly something.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also sorta going to a no-wifi place so I won't update for at least two weeks-as if I updated often when I had wifi-so like if you read this chapter please don't forget to remind me to publish another new chapter that I'm editting. It's going to take a while and I would really appreciate it if someone made sure that I would publish it.
> 
> Thank you in advance.


	31. Here's to all that we kissed and to all that we missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completely different.

Phil Lester is truly something.

He's a special boy-an entirely different case-while also being a big cliche all together. Smart, kind, funny and handsome, there really wasn't anything wrong with him. No flaws. His life could be easily described as a resemblance to his own personality. Certainly not ideal but at the same time taken out of a corny high-school movie. An odd combination truly but this was just the way things were.

His parent weren't wealthy but they always had what they needed and the Lester siblings never missed a thing. The pair loved their children deeply and displayed their affection for them very often. A little too often for Phil's brother. But who was Phil to refuse his father's hugs or his mother's sweet kisses before he left for school?

"Honey,"his mother's soft voice brought him back to reality. "you seem lost."

Lost was really an understatement.

Honestly, his one and bigger problem had to do with the new school. He really loved it, liked the classes, found the teachers interesting and simply adored his classmates. He was bright enough to get on the good side of most of the tutors-minus miss Quill but he doubted anyone was on her good side-and had even got himself acquaintance with the rest of the school stuff. As for the rest students, being friends with most of them was easy. Forming friendships, in general, was a task easy for someone like Phil.

He was a good listener, he was supportive and somehow always knew what to say. He could be your platonic soulmate, your knight in shining armor or both at the same time. That was just the very unrealistic case of Philip Michael Lester. You couldn't be mad at him-couldn't even offer him a scold. He was genuine and a sweetheart, that was why everyone loved him.

"It's nothing."

Almost everyone.

"Philip."

Now, here lied the equally unrealistic case of one Dan Howell. Sure, Phil might have come out of a teen movie but Dan had come straight out a Stephenie Meyer book. He was quiet, mysterious and an absolute prick. Plus, he probably lived off black and the blood of innocents while also hiding his true nature; he liked pastel colors and sparkles. Okay maybe that part was a bit of an exaggeration but the rest were true. This curious creature had somehow crossed paths with Phil, and here is the question of all, what came next?

Did the two of them match instantly? Did the life of the two boys turned into a less successful version of Heathers? Did Dan somehow ended up falling head over heels and ended up bombarding the whole school? Was Phil a less sexual version of Veronica Sawyers?

Yeah. No.

They were just weird and awkward. Dan strongly disliked Phil when he met him, even though they had grown a bit close, and Phil couldn't-can't-take someone not liking him. Of course he could live with one person not loving him and certainly did not desperately need validation, but he also couldn't have one person randomly disliking him.

And then that party happened.

Dan told him he didn't hate him but a part of Phil believed he was just being kind.

"It's about a guy."

"Is he a handsome guy?"

"Mum!"

"Yeah, yeah, studies first  but you can combine both of them."his mother explained"Is he nice? Because the world can be pretty ugly Phil, you know that."

"It's complicated."Phil wondered if this was truly an accurate description of his relationship with Dan."We'll talk about it some other time."

"Sure. Use protection, though, okay?"

"I'm going to pretend this conversation did not happen."

.

Rachel and Noah were the type of siblings you would not believe they were related.

Noah Puckerman an athlete. Someone who had adopted the bad boy persona and would most likely end up dead near a ditch once they finished high-school. Rachel Puckerman-or Berry as she preferred-was a cheerleader. But she was a singer first. Unlike her brother, she pictured herself becoming big someday. She had to.

"I think I should audition for Mr Schue's play."

"And you're telling me because?"

"You're my brother."she mumbled. The two siblings were never really close with each other, everyone who knew them could figure out that much,but things had been particularly rocky lately. Rachel partly blamed the bet between them. Then again, her competitive side did not let her drop it either."Thought you'd be interested."

"Not really."

"Kind as always."she scoffed

.

Patrick Stump was a good person. Scratch that-he was a wonderful person and perhaps that was why God was blessing him today.

He watched as Ryan leaned against his locker, shoulders straight and chest out, his hair falling to his face. It was a desperate attempt to look irresistible. Yes, Ryan and maybe a bunch of girls, considered the tall boy quite handsome when he did that pose but not Patrick. Patrick could just his best friend acting like a baby seal-adorable but totally inexperienced.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're trying a bit too much."Patrick replied and grabbed his books"You're helpless."

"I'm just resting and observing the students."

"You're standing literally outside Brendon Urie's class and keep glancing at the clock."

"So?"

"Helpless!"he repeated with a laugh.

"Social."

"In love."

"Curious."

"If that helps you sleep, sure."

.

The act of two men laying on the same bed, according to the Bible, is an abomination. A God-sent punishment is expected. Yet, Matteusz knew that as long as he was alive no one would set his soul on fire. Plus, he doubted God would really murder him instead of, well, killing off actual bad people. Although, if he was to be punished for something, he could think of some things. Mostly lying. It seemed as if he had been lying regularly the past few days.

"That's my stop, guys." April announced as stood on her heels for a second"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye April."Matteusz said while Tanya waved. April smiled at them and went inside her house."And then there were two."

"The best two."

"The gay two."Tanya joked making Matteusz tense. He should probably get used to being comfortable with his sexuality. Especially around his friends."Speaking of  which have you thought of what we discussed at the party?"

Thought was a bit of an understatement.  Matteusz had spent countless nights thinking of their conversation, he replayed Tanya's words in his mind while simultaneously trying to come up with a solution. Although a scenario in which everyone would be happy and would eventually laugh fondly at in the future was not on the table. In the end, no matter what Matteusz wanted, someone would get hurt.

"Yes."

"And how will you tell April about Charlie?"

"I won't."

"I'm sorry, what?"

The problem Tanya had presented Matteusz had been simple. He liked Charlie, Charlie liked him and then there was April. April who, Tanya claimed, was too sweet and kind and would not hold a grudge. April who would smile at Matteusz and wish him the best. Even though he had watch her hopelessly pinning for Charlie since he got there. Matteusz had spent countless hours trying to think of a good way to reveal to April that her crush was in fact very gay.

Sure, Tanya insisted that April would be fine no matter what way he would chose to tell her, she just pressured him into actually coming clean to April so she would be set _free_. She had also added that she might be able to find someone new after that and grinned as if she knew something that Matteusz had no idea.

Still despite Tanya's reassurance, Matteusz wasn't blind. He had seen how much April liked Charlie and how happy she was when he talked about him. Sure, April would probably be supportive even though Charlie could never like her back but him and Matteusz getting together would be a little too cruel. He had to think of her first.

"I like Charlie, yes, and he likes guys but he doesn't like me."the lie slips out easily but Matteusz can't shake off the burning sensation in his heart. He shouldn't lie but he does.

"Oh Matteusz, I'm sorry."

There are so many white lies that form this very conversation. He's lying to Tanya about Charlie's feelings, he lies about his own relationship-because it is a relationship and he just denied it to avoid doing something he didn't want to. But the worst lie is the one he tells himself; he lies for April. Not for him. For her.

He's a _good_ friend.

Not a _scared_ child.

"Thank you, Tanya."he smiles at her and they hug. After that he walks toward his house's door. He knocks three times and waits for either one of his parents to open up. His mother opens up with a bright smile, she pulls him inside. "Hey mum."

"Hello, mój syn."she greets him"I just finished cooking. Your father is already inside."

Matteusz nods and follows his mother in the kitchen. His house is relatively small, especially with all the furniture and pictures. Sometimes he believes that there's a small difference between his home and a cathedral. There are statues and icons everywhere along with a portable Bible on a desk near the kitchen. Matteusz looks at one of the statues of Virgin Mary and thinks that she knows. She knows he's lying and she judges him for it.

"Matti, sit."his father instructs without even turning to look at him. Matteusz does as he's told, relieved that the kitchen has only one icon and a small bottle of Holy Water both very  far away from where he was sitting. "How was your day?"

"It was fine."

"You were a bit late."

"I dropped my friends off."

"Friends?"his father raised his eyebrows"I mean, I'm happy that you found friends.

Matteusz nods at his father's comment. "Did you meet any nice girls?"

There it was.

"No, dad."

"I'm sure you will find someone."

"Oh yes, maybe you should be friends with the neighbors."his mother added"There is a girl there about your age."

"Not them."his father cut him off"I think their other child is a, forgive me, homosexual."

"Really?" his mother asked terrified. Matteusz wanted to scoff at their reactions. So what if the boy was gay? Why should they care? He didn't have any decease or something. "His poor parents."

"Everyday we disappoint the Lord."

Suddenly, Matteusz had lost his appetite.

.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident!"

"No, you're an accident you little piece of shit."

"I'm sorry! It won't happen again, I p-promise!"

"Damn right it won't!"

"Christian." the voice was raw, Christian could only chuckle at the sound of it. He licked his lips once and let go of his younger brother's collar, he slowly and gently put him on a chair while the young boy shivered.

"Look at that Tommy,"he grinned to the 13 year old"older brother to the rescue."

"Get away from him."Grant told him sternly. He run towards Thomas' side and bent down"Are you okay?"

"It was an accident Grant, I swear, I didn't mean to knock it over."

"Knock what over?"

"Christian's book."Thomas sobbed. Grant felt the anger inside him rising. He smiled at his brother and squeezed his hand. Thomas knew that whenever Grant did that, he had to run to his room and lock the door until his brother came from him. The boy nodded and run upstairs. Grant watched him, waited for him to get to the top of the stairs before turning to Christian.

"You beat him up over some stupid book."

"Almost beat him, brother."Christian laughed"That's the key word."

"You fucking asshole,"-he turned around and took three steps closer to his brother-"I will--"

Christian rose to his feet. He was a much taller than Grant, not particularly strong but not weak either, if it was anybody else like him, Grant would be able to take him down with ease. But that wasn't how things worked in the Ward household. Because when Christian and Grant would fight, the second would feel like a little child again, unable to do anything. "You'll do what?"

"I don't want you near him."

"Hate to remind you but he's my brother as well."Christian growled"Careful Grant, if I didn't know any better, I would believe you were threatening me."

Grant didn't reply, he just pressed his lips together and held his breath. Christian smiled and Grant finally released the breath he was holding. Whenever Christian smiled, it meant that the fight was over. He had gotten what he wanted. However, before he could react, Christian had grabbed his arm. The oldest boy squeezed with his thumb a bit above Grant's wrist making him wince.

"Here's the thing, brother, I don't like people threatening me. Especially when we're talking about an excuse of a human being like you."-he lifted his sleeve with the other hand and pressed harder making Grant growl-"Hurts doesn't it? I should know. I'm the one person who knows where you hurt most. Know why? Because I did _that_ last time you questioned me, remember that bruise Grant? Huh?"

Grant did not reply leading in Christian becoming more irritated."No? What about that mark on the back, huh? I fucking burned you, remember? You screamed so I can't imagine that you forgot so quickly, maybe I should do it again. It might not help you with your memory but it will teach you some fucking manners."

"I remember."Grant whispered in defeat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that clearly."

"I said I remember."

Christian grinned and let go of his hand. "A-ta boy. Knew Alzheimer hadn't found you so soon." Grant did not make any further comments and took off leaving a smiling Christian alone.

He didn't know where he was going. He just needed to get out. He would return home soon, soon enough for Thomas and late enough for Christian to leave or at least for his mother to come home. His mother. Oh his mother was so sweet and kind and _oblivious_.

Or maybe she was just smarter than she let on. Grant didn't know, or to be more precise, he didn't want to know. It was this game of who he could and who he could not trust that tortured Grant's thoughts daily. Even now, he had found himself away from his house and what seemed like a five minute walk was actually a walk at a park fifteen minutes away from his house.

He really needed help.

"Attack Buddy! Attack!"the shouting brought Grant back to real life. He turned his head towards the source of the sound but before he could see clearly something had knocked him down. Had it finally happened? Was a group of coyotes finally going to devour him and release him from his misery?

Turns out no.

"Bud, I told you attack like with teeth not tongue." After Grant managed to get over the shock he saw that it was actually not a group of boy-eating animals making a feast. But a dog on top of him licking the living life out of him. And judging by the owner's voice, it wasn't any kind of dog. "Sorry, I think he mistook attack with fuck."

"You think?"Grant asked as Buddy continued licking him happily."At least buy me dinner first!"

"Will keep that in mind."Skye grinned and called Buddy's name. The dog licked Grant's nose one last time and run towards Skye. Skye Howell was probably the last person he expected to see there but perhaps her dog was the thing he needed the most. "How come you're here? All by yourself too? No cult meeting today?"

"Cult meeting?"

"You know, the meetings where you all gather and talk about how much you worship the devil."

"I understood what a cult meeting is. I don't understand why."

"Because you all worship Kara Palamas who I'm pretty sure is Satan's long lost cousin."

"Very funny."Grant replied and stood up"Kara's my friend."he doesn't add the ex-girlfriend title, he doesn't need to.

"Then you certainly need new friends."Skye shot back"True nice friends."

"Like yours?" it's meant to be offending but Skye takes it as a compliment.

"Like mine! Who are beautiful, amazing, very talented people that are not the embodiment of evil, thank you very much."she smiled"But lets be realistic, you would never be able to fit in with my group."

"Rude, don't you think?"

"I'm serious. They are too _weird_ for you."she says and this time it seems she's trying to insult him"But you can always settle for knowing me. That's a pretty big deal."

Buddy runs towards a tree dragging Skye with him. Grant chuckles at her comment and the scene in general, he wouldn't want to fit in with her group anyway, still he follows her. "We're not friends."

"We're acquaintances."

"Not even that."

"Dude, hate to rain on your parade, but we have shagged and your mother saved my dog. Plus we have been classmates since forever. Oh and there's of course the fact that you,"-she paused and shook her head-"Trust me, we're acquaintances."

"Never letting go of the first one, are you?"

"Nope."she answered cheerfully"But don't flatter yourself, it's just nice to know that drunk Ward is a hoe."

"Hey!"

"Kidding, kidding."she chuckled"That's everyday."

Grant turned towards Buddy"How do you put up with her?"

"He has no choice. I have food, water, a bed and Mr Ball."

"What more could a dog ask?"

.

Thomas knows what he does is wrong.

Sometimes he feels he's living a double life.

"You seem lost."Newt blurted out quietly before taking a sip from his coffee"Everything okay?"

Thomas ponders for a while. He examines Newt. Newt with the dirty blonde hair and the warm smile. Newt who wore a skirt on their first _official_ date and can still look more pretty than half of the girls Thomas has watched during their walk. Newt who is probably the most sweet and kind person Thomas has ever met.

Newt who would probably hate him if he knew.

"Everything is fine."

He lies.

It's what he does best.

"Bloody hell, hide!"

"What?"

"Hide like your life depends on it Tommy, listen to me."

Thomas watches Newt turning around to leave, he's closed behind him, but something stops him. Before he can register the whole scene, a hand is on Newt's arm making both boys tense. "Dear Lord, fuck me."

"Rude!"the person who grabbed him says. Thomas remembers the girl from that one day they had ended up in the hospital. He thinks the boy next to her was there too. Finally, he glances at the dog she's holding. He smiles. "What do we have hear?"

"Nothing. Just two bros." unlike Thomas, Newt-he figures-is an extremely horrible liar.

"Chilling in a park, five feet apart because they are not gay?"the girl asks clearly not impressed"I'm Skye. This is Ward. And there is the only man I love, Buddy."

"Thomas. We've met."

"Oh right, that Thomas."she says his name bitterly and immediately turns to Newt"Were we interrupting something?"

"We were actually out."Thomas explains"On a date."

"Shush!"Newt told him but Skye had already heard what he had said."Skye, pleas--"

"I have to tell the gang!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No! You have no idea what personal boundaries mean, Dan is overprotective, Charlie can be quite murderous sometimes and honestly even if Brendon and Quinn are the most sane of our group, you somehow always manage to have them do your dirty job."

"True nice friends, huh?"the guy next to Skye chuckled but she only slammed his hand in response.

"I'm just looking out for you."

"I'm not doing anything bad or dangerous."

"Fine, but text me when you get home."Skye told him and hugged him with one arm"Don't let him ruin your day, yeah?"

Newt nodded and Skye turned to Thomas. "But just so you know, I know how to hide a body, Tommy. I won't hesitate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write for many different reasons. Writer's block took advantage of that. Anywhore, some interesting notes;
> 
> -Phil's life is a bit ideal in my mind. It's meant to be like that. I mean, loving family and friends, actually having so supportive parents despite his sexuality is something that I believe is not really realistic. But it's not impossible either. This entire story speaks about different people and this is why I present many different types of families.  Most importantly there are four-up to now-families with LGBT+ kids and they all react differently. Quill doesn't care about Charlie being gay, she dislikes him(from what it seems)but not because of that, Newt is out and his parents can be somewhat abusive towards him, Matteusz is in the closet and probably won't come out soon but we do see how his family views homosexuals and then there's Phil whose parents always support him.
> 
> -Rachel's and Noah's relationship is actually somewhat based on what I've seen from my family. They aren't really close and seem to base their lives-especially Rachel-around competition.
> 
> -This scene with them was also because I wanted to remind everyone of Mr Schue's play which will play a big part.
> 
> -I hope everyone has understand that Matteusz lies about his relationship with Charlie for many reasons. The fact that April likes Charlie just makes him feel better for lying. In reality, at least what I'm trying to show is that, Matteusz is scared of coming out. Especially to his parents. It's really a silly and unreasonable thing to do-lie to his friends-but he's a kid and in all his panic, I think he would probably do something like that.
> 
> -Also I wanted to tone the contrast between Phil's family and Matteusz's by adding these two scenes with the boys and their families.
> 
> -Next, following a canon subplot, I kept the Ward family as abusive assholes. Hope it's clear that Thomas Ward and Newt's Thomas are two different people.
> 
> -Later Skye was actually planning on coming clean about Grant's plan. You may not remember it but Ryan had told Skye that Grant wanted to use her to make Kara mad because of the feud between them. Still she decided not to be honest. Meanwhile Grant did not think about this whole plan once during their time together.
> 
> -Finally, I will have an entire chapter for Thomas because his own  story is somewhat tricky and couldn't fit in. Just know that Thomas is still lowkey an ass.
> 
> -KUDOS TO YOU WHO CAUGHT THE HAMILTON REFERENCE.


	32. Do it for the people who love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.

Charlie wakes up with a headache.

He assumes it's because of all the curtains being wide open, there is too much light and that makes Charlie want to die in hopes that Heaven will be darker. He had always minded the morning light, at least Newt had figured out that much after one day when he opened the curtains and Charlie practically hissed at him like some sort of cat, so this little incident was bound to ruin his mood.

Still, he had to find out who held responsibility for this. He instantly thought of Newt who could easily access his room, but after remembering the hissing incident, he shook that thought away. It couldn't have been Newt. He was too smart and since they were cousins, Charlie wanted to believe that he wouldn't use his pet peeve against him.

Of course that left Quill and honestly, Charlie should have thought of it earlier. Quill knew that the moment the light would enter Charlie's room, he would wake up cranky as ever. He couldn't really understand why Quill wanted to ruin his mood. Perhaps she had woken up early and wanted others to suffer with her.

Then there was also a scenario in which Quill just wanted company and didn't want to admit it. Quickly, he dismissed that thought. Quill hated human interaction and she hated Charlie, so it was most likely she wanted him to suffer. Charlie let out a big sigh and stood on his feet. He rubbed his eyes and began walking towards the kitchen.

Quill was leaning on her chair, a cup of black coffee in one hand and her tablet in the other. She was probably watching cat pictures-also known as the only thing she enjoyed involving living beings and excluding causing them pain. Much to his displeasure, Newt was nowhere to be seen. He walked to the counter quietly hoping that Quill wouldn't see him, despite the fact that he had to pass in front of her.

"Morning, Charles."she mumbled in her usual monotonous tone. She didn't even take her eyes away from the screen, the whole scene reminded Charlie of how awkward things between them were before Newt moved in. Charlie nodded and grabbed an empty glass.

"Morning, Quill."

"How come you're up so early?"she continued"You usually sleep like you're hibernating."

"Too much light." at that point, Quill's lips twitched for a second. Charlie was now officially certain that it was her who had opened the curtains. "I'm going to head up to the store."

"What for?"

"We're out of soy milk." usually it was Newt who was in charge of buying the milk-since it was him who had a lactose intolerance-but he had been too caught up with something so he had forgotten. Sure, Charlie thought that this was the universe punishing Newt for keeping secrets from him but he was still his cousin and revenge was never his forte.

"No, we're not. Check the third shelf." Charlie raised an eyebrow and did what Quill told him. "I bought it yesterday."

"Wh--"

"Don't flatter yourself,"Quill was quick to cut him off"it was on sale."

If Charlie believed her or not, nobody knows.

.

"Your house is very unsettling."

"You were standing by the mailbox."Matteusz tells Tanya with a raised eyebrow"And it's very similar to the other houses."

"Nah, yours has a weird energy like the old stone house at the end of East End."

"Is it true that this place is haunted?"

"I don't know. Amira, she's in Economics and lives there, claims it just has a lot of spiders."Tanya explained"And yes, your house is probably not haunted but I still get a weird vibe from it."

Matteusz simply chuckled in reply. The two of them entered the school with skepticism. Not having classes and still choosing to spent a day at school was a very odd experience for them both. Although, they were not really there to study. Tanya, among others, had agreed on helping their Spanish teacher with the school play. Most of the so-called volunteers only came to get a good part but Tanya just wanted to mess around with the-needlessly-expensive equipment. The plan was that she would go with April, who did want to participate in the play, but unfortunately something had come up.

That meant that Tanya had to find someone else to accompany her. She would have gone with Ram but the boy would rather do anything else. So Matteusz offered himself to cover up for April and keep Tanya company.

"You're not going to regret this."

"You seem pretty sure of this."

"Well, yeah, mostly because I doubt you had any better plans. I mean, you're spending the day with me and we all know I'm a very fun person."

"I can't argue with that."

Truth was, this thing seemed like the least fun thing one could do. Many students, all with bored faces, were there. Some helped with the stunts in a very sloppy kindergarten like way while others were smothering Mr Schue, practically shouting about all their undeniable talent and how they deserved the main role. Matteusz wasn't even sure about what the play was about. However from what Ram had mentioned, their teacher had the bad habit to always favor slightly revolutionary musicals. He had quickly added that last year they did The Rocky Horror Picture Show and it was the most unsettling thing for students, teachers and parents.

Matteusz tried to hide it but it was obvious that he would rather be anywhere else. Maybe he could have been laying on his bed, texting Charlie and contemplating life and morality. Sure that would be better. Then again, Tanya was smiling excitedly which made him feel as if the boredom was worth it.

"Tanya!"a girl with bright orange hair exclaimed. Matteusz was positive her hair had been dark blue barely three days ago."Thank God you're here. I'm pretty sure Lynn destroyed the sound system, Otto Wood is literally rocking himself back and forth backstage and Artie wants to murder the entire tech club."

"Bloody hell, I didn't even have time to mess with it myself."Tanya replied with irritation and turned to Matteusz"We'll catch up later, I need to stop a homicide."

.

"Why do you drive like a madman?"

"If you didn't yell in my ear, I would be driving normally woman!"

"I would very much like to excuse myself from this conversation and group."

"Me too!"Newt added from the back seat as he tried to move closer to the front. Instead of coming closer though he managed to hit Charlie's head with his elbow.

"Not my fault, he's smothering me."Skye said and shot Dan a glare. The boy squeezed the wheel tighter made a sound similar to a laugh mixed with a groan.

"Well you're smothering me too!"

"So does Newt!"Charlie whispered"Literally. I can't breathe."

"I can't do anything about that! There's a cage next to me, it practically takes the entire place."

"Leave Buddy's cage alone, you idiots."

"I just don't understand why Brendon and Quinn didn't have to come but we did. This is racism against gay people and I'm not having it."Newt stated with a fake hurt expression. Charlie was ready to agree with his cousin but a sudden turn Dan made, threw Newt to his side cutting him off. Not wanting to almost lose his teeth again, Charlie simply gave a thumbs up.

"I'm not gay."

"Are we seriously still doing this, Mr Denial? The only straight person in this car is me and even that is debatable."Skye replied"I would definitely go gay for a number of actresses like Stephanie Beatriz and Elizabeth Olsen but that's mainly because our school doesn't really have any drop-dead-gorgeous people."

"I'm starting to believe that the only reason we're hanging out is the fact that we would be tumblr's dream team."Charlie mumbled, mostly to himself. Skye laughed at the comment and made herself more comfortable."I can't believe we wanted to live together when we grew up. We would have killed each other."

"I just imagined that one day we would turn into that show where the friends began blurting out their deepest secrets and everyone fought with everyone."

"God, I loved that show."Skye added with a squeal."And sure, we may have changed a little bit but we can still do something like that. Maybe travel. We could go on a road-trip."

"I do want to go to a road-trip."Charlie agreed while Newt smiled"See the world, meet different people. Even see different skies!"

"We're not going to Norway."

"But the lights, Skye. The lights!" Charlie then proceeded to tell the group more about the Northern Lights and what an amazing spectacle it had to be. Both Newt and Skye watched him talk with awe, he had always been fascinated with things like space, stars and the sky and whenever he would talk about anything regarding these his voice would become much softer. It was ironic because at the same time, his pace would be much faster-making it very hard from time to time for them to catch up-but in the end, it made him happy and that was all that mattered.

"Fine, I guess, when we do do our little trip, we can go to Norway."-Charlie jumped forward and hugged Skye-"Sounds cool, Dan?"

It didn't. It was wrong for so many reasons and if Dan was to come clean about it, they were probably never going to make it to school on time. Therefore, he focused his gaze on the road-refused to kill anyone's dream for the time being-and did what Dan knew best. "I'm driving though, make sure you guys feel alive instead of dying out of boredom."

He lied.

"I'm a careful driver."Skye said confidently and was met with nothing but silence."I'm telling the truth. You idiots are lucky I love you, otherwise I wouldn't stand for this disrespect."

.

"This is fun, isn't it?"Tanya asked Matteusz as the two of them carried a table from the center of the stage to the side."Working in the mid-day sun on a Sunday."

"It's not that bad."

"Even I was disappointed."

"You didn't manage to fix the sound system?"

"Oh no, I did. But Mr Schue said we were no longer allowed near it. Sure, it will probably pass but this was the only reason I wanted to come."

"Better luck next time, gamer."

Tanya sighed and placed down thee table. She briefly looked around to see the other students being also busy with chores. It was pointless, in a way, they still had plenty of time until this room was needed and they were all preparing for a musical that hadn't even formed yet.

"Attention, attention, we're here and we're queer!" Both Matteusz and Tanya turned towards the source of the sound, both frozen for a minute with such an open statement. "Queer as in fucking weird."

Matteusz released a breath, he didn't know he was holding.

"But you know and we know that those two beauties next to me are indeed gay as fuck, so if I hear one bad comment from you theater nerds, I will break your fingers." Skye Howell announced smiling"Do not let my height fool you."

A small chuckle was heard and Matteusz saw Phil Lester smiling at the group. He seemed to be focused on Dan who looked more uncomfortable than ever, standing near his much shorter sister and trying to decide whether people would attack them. Charlie and Newt were a few feet apart, both them smiling kindly but somehow unaware of what exactly was Skye's announcement. Not that they would mind, Charlie was not hiding who he was and Newt was about just as vocal.

"Will you go to him?"

"What?"

"Charlie."Tanya explained"You're friends, aren't you?"

"We,"Matteusz glanced at them once more. Skye had practically dragged Dan to go and greet Phil. Newt was trying to find a place for his bag(it was almost full and things would literally start falling from it in any second)and Charlie was scanning the room. Eventually, he saw Matteusz and smiled."are."

It's a lie because Matteusz sees Charlie's smile and realizes he wants to see it everyday.

 


	33. You've got me feeling like a walking love song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been my 11:11 wish for so long.

  
Charlie and Matteusz were insufferable.

Well, not really, Newt enjoys seeing them gazing each other while the other one isn't looking. They are practically dating-officially and not, all in the same time - but they still act like high school boys crushing on one another. He finds it sweet but unnecessary. They could have an open relationship after all the school already knew that Charlie was gay and being seen with Matteusz was bound to start rumors so they could just come out first, but for some reason, they were both against it.

On the exact opposite side of the scale were Brendon and Ryan Ross. Ryan was very invested on Brendon and had no problem with showing it. Brendon had - a big one actually-and perhaps the most alarming thing was that no one seemed to care. Newt couldn't help wondering if this was due to his popularity. Was this the way the school worked? Newt and Charlie weren't straight and got bullied for it but when someone like Ryan was not interested solid in women, no one dared to question it.

If something, this made Newt feel out of place and time. Maybe if he was born in a different era or place, he would have been happier. The second best thing would be for him and Thomas, who was only slightly in love with after their past few dates, to attend the same school. However, WCKD Academy was a tad too expensive for Newt's pocket and Thomas, being the son of the Headmistress, was not keen on changing schools.

Although, he would be lying if he said he didn't expect this sudden turn of events. That had always been his life; wrong place, right time or vice versa. 

"Lizard."

"Huh?"

"Bell."Skye repeated skeptically"Sure, if you want, you could probably spend the break in Spanish class but I wouldn't recommend it."

"I'm sorry, I believe I was lost in my own world."

"It's fine. We all do that quite a lot."

Newt laughed warmingly at her and stood up, grabbing his books for the next period. They were almost outside the classroom when Mr. Schuester's cough caught their attention. "Newton."

"Shit."Skye cursed under her breathe. If Newt wasn't that near the teacher's desk, he would have the same reaction."My legs are still sore from Sunday."

"It's fine. We'll catch up in a little bit, yes?"

"Sure. We'll be at our normal table."

Newt nodded and turned to his teacher. He immediately began thinking of the reason Mr. Schuester wanted to see him. He tried to think of any assignments he had failed to deliver or of any that were not as satisfying but failed. He had done his best and teachers rarely had a problem with him. Excluding miss Quill who had a problem with every student from the least sharp tool in the shed to the brightest of minds.

"Yes, sir?"

"Were you here last Sunday?"

"Yes," Newt replied and quickly swallowed "did I do something? Am I in trouble or something?"

"No actually," he turned to his briefcase and took out a black notebook with Newt's name on the cover written in calligraphy. Newt would recognize these letters everywhere, they belonged to his sister who after taking this internet course on calligraphy had insisted she wrote everything her family needed. It was mainly for show off but who was Newt to judge his favorite and only sister? This specific notebook was the only thing he didn't have to bring from his home but did anyway because he liked it. At first, he used it for Math homework but it seemed unfair to use such a pretty notebook (at least to his eyes) for such a dull subject. Now it was mainly used for Newt's own entertainment and drawings.

Drawings.

Oh no.

"It was probably a bit unprofessional on my part but I read some of it. In the beginning, I just went through some pages to make sure you didn't have an important homework you would need to deliver but then some things caught my eye."

"Unprofessional is an understatement."

Mr. Schue just stared him for a solid minute. He coughed, clearing his throat, and spoke up again. "You write a lot."

He does. It's not really something he can stop whenever he wants. Usually, he would write about a bad day and rainy clouds, but after Thomas had very clumsily entered his life, the empty pages had been filled with hearts and romantic poems. Mr. Schuester must have seen that and found it weird-disgusting even-it wouldn't be the first time he had fought with a teacher over such stuff.

"My assignments give it away."

"No, I mean you truly write." Mr. Schue corrected "You create art."

There was something that Newt didn't like about where this conversation was going. Maybe it was the way that his teacher held his notebook like some precious book or the way his eyes shined in a very crazy way. Newt remembered Skye talking about how obsessed Mr. Schue was with art, especially singing and acting since he had a little failure in the area. Well, not little precise. He never really got far enough to be able to fail.

"Thank you, sir. I think."

"No, Newt, I thank you." he replied cheerfully"And I have a proposal for you."

In the end, that was Newt's life; always in the wrong place, the right time or vice versa.

.

Dan is an idiot and a walking love song.

It pains him, both emotionally and physically. He is presented with many problems and not so many solutions. For starters, he may have relapsed. Actually, not may, he is certain he has relapsed and he knows that he would much rather be found in a ditch than telling Skye. Or anyone for that matter. He doesn't remember how it happened but yesterday he somehow managed to empty an entire bottle of their parents' good wine. This was the first red flag. He, however, knows he's gone again because he misses it.

He misses it so much that he wishes his teachers for the day are hit by a truck and he gets sent home early for today before Adrian or Skye arrive. He doesn't even have to drink alcohol, he just wants to smell it. See it even. He needs it and it pains him.

Secondly, the stress of missing alcohol made him smoke more which led to his cigarette packet ending a bit too soon. Now he was penniless for both more cigars and beer. It really is a bad day for him and he can't even complain about it. He really can't. He imagines many scenarios in which he comes clean and they all have one thing in common; Adrian and Skye being not mad but disappointed. Maybe a bit mad too but mostly disappointed. 

He's already a burden and he refuses to cause his siblings more suffering.

His third drug problem is not really a drug nor a problem. It's just a blue-eyed idiot who could get a sunburn in winter and on England. He was never sure what awkward silent types found in bubbly colorful people who were awfully optimistic, but since he was now living this bad tv show cliche, he assumed he would find the reason why. That didn't happen.

He wasn't stupid. He knew, despite not admitting, that Phil Lester was more than an acquaintance and a very different type of friend. It was a thought that had dawned on him when they had held hands one day after leaving the lab room. Ironically, this wasn't what made the voice inside his head scream 'yeah homo'. Dan was never the macho guy type who believed that things and behaviors have genders. He would paint his nails, hang out with the girls of the group and from time to time hold Brendon's hand because the second one was clumsiness personalized. 

He had held hands with a guy before and never really thought much of it because this was hand holding, not some kind of declaration of eternal love after steamy sex. It was just two limbs of two different idiots intermingling. Yet, Philip Michael Lester managed once more to ruin Dan's life by making it awkward.

How he did that, Dan wasn't sure. What he was sure of, though, was that when their hands touched Dan thought about it. A lot. He worried about it and felt a knot in his chest. This wasn't normal and for once, he was glad Skye wasn't around to witness him getting flustered. Naturally, like the mature almost adult he was, Dan had decided against discussing the whole subject with Phil. He would just avoid him for the rest of his life.

A task quite simple.

Now if he could also stop thinking about him, that would be great.

"So if Newt's going to help Mr. Schue with the play, he will be often gone from home." Brendon concluded"Charlie boy, this is your chance to bring your boyfriend over and get nasty."

Quinn made a gagging sound and pushed her salad away. "Can we please be decent during lunch? I would like to eat for a change."

"I'm doing you a favor, dude. Who eats salad for lunch?" Quinn didn't answer. Instead, she took out her bottle of water and drank half of it.

"So what do you guys think? Care to help me out?" Newt asked.

"Don't look at me. Schuester has already blackmailed me into taking part in the play."

"What is even going to be about?" Skye added to which Newt just shrugged. "Tell you what, find a nice plot and I'm sure Brendon, Quinn and I will also join."

"Why me?" Both Brendon and Quinn asked.

"Why not me?" Charlie added offended.

"Brendon is a known attention whore. Quinn is a hidden attention whore and you're literally a ball of stress and anxiety."

"Fair point."

 

.

It takes a lot of convincing to get rid of Charlie. Perhaps it would be easier if Newt wasn't kicking him out of his own place, but it wasn't his fault that the situation was so ideal. Quill was out and if Charlie was also out, Newt would finally have the peace and quiet he needed in order to write a play like his teacher had asked him. An impossible task, really, but it was going to give him extra credit and it sounded like a fun idea.

"Wasn't the point of kicking out your cousin to write the play?"

"But I have no inspiration."

"Is that why you called me over?" Thomas asked with a sly smirk.

"Do not flatter yourself, Tommy. I just wanted you to be my critic." Newt explained and continued writing and erasing words in his notebook. They probably didn't make any sense and suddenly, this idea and plan seemed a lot more stressful. Thomas went over to Newt's bed where the blonde was sitting and placed his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Will you bribe me?"

"I will smack you."

"Kinky."

Newt couldn't hold his laughter. He turned his head slightly to face Thomas. "You're a real arsehole."

"Would it help my case if I said that I'm your asshole?"

"Maybe," Thomas smirked and kissed him. The two of them parted for a second until Newt kissed him again forcefully. Soon, a soft sound similar to a moan was heard which made Thomas smile. The sound was repeated and Thomas could feel his self-esteem hitting the ceiling. "Thomas!"

"I'm an excellent kisser, I know."

"No! I had an amazing idea for the play!" Newt jumped to the side and grabbed another pen. "Babe, you're a genius."

"I'm totally gonna record you saying that and will use it for future blackmailing." -Newt snorted, but still, Thomas looked at him with adoration as the boy began writing.

"I can feel you staring." Newt mumbled, his eyes glued to his writing "What are you thinking?"

"I just sometimes wonder how come you're a real person and not some illusion."

"Very romantic, but we aren't doing anything until I'm done."

"I knew you'd say that." Thomas laughed. "Hey, Newt?"

"Yes?"

Thomas grabbed his phone and flashed him the screen. "It's 11:11, make a wish."

"Can I wish for this project to magically finish itself?"

"I expected eternal happiness or love or something."

"Well, the end of this project would make me really happy." Newt explained, "Plus, I already have love."

"You big sap!"

 


	34. I'm making you uneasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at your thighs. Put down your food.

_She's pretty._

A slim figure, blonde hair, and a sweet smile. She's prettier than most girls her age, it's clear puberty treated her nice. She does ballet and can bend her legs with ease as if they're made of rubber. In the plain eye, she seems like a fragile little girl. Not particularly tall but still a lovely and delightful creature. She isn't the prettiest girl in the school but no one could call her anything less than beautiful.

_She's a plain girl._

She could be taller. High heels were always an option or maybe pants with stripes. She could be prettier. Make-up was supposed to be a must for girls her age, Brittany used to use it before she even began high school, she should probably use it more often. She could be slimmer too. She isn't like the famous ballerinas with the tiny waist and long legs but she could be.

_She isn't enough._

Quinn Fabray is a lot of things. She used to be pretty as well, at some point, but she can't remember exactly when that was. The only thing she can bring to her mind crystal clear is the blue shirt, she wore a week ago that didn't fit quite right. Not like it used to. It's just a shirt but it makes Quinn sob quietly in her room's bathroom and prays that her mother wouldn't barge in without knowing as per usual.

"You're sweating."

"No kidding." Quinn told Marley out-of-breathe. She continued trying to stretch her legs for a split but only managed to make the pain she was feeling worse. 

"You could do it a week ago." Ryder pointed out. A correct statement that made Quinn feel worse."No pressure, or anything, but you have a try-out and you'll have to ace it. That means you must be able to do a split, the very least."

They're right. They might be imaginary but they are right and Quinn struggles to accept it. The truth hurts - that's her biggest problem - because right now it seems clear that she isn't made for this. That she's doing something wrong. She is always doing something wrong.

"Have you eaten anything?" Marley asks worryingly like a mother questioning their young child. Her voice is sympathetic and calm which briefly sends a wave of reassurance in Quinn's spine. It doesn't last long.

"An apple."

"Quinn, what have I repeatedly told you?"

Don't eat. Eating helps you gain weight. She can't, she's already on thin ice. She needs to be more careful and thoughtful. Marley tells her to count her portions and Quinn does it, but not always, because if she doesn't she gains weight and she can't afford it. She's won't afford it.

"I was hungry." it wasn't a lie. She didn't have lunch, thanks to the detailed talk the group had about Charlie's sex life, and she needed energy. "It was an apple."

It's an apple.

It's an apple.

It's an apple. She repeats it many more times in her head and hopes her words will linger. It's an apple. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

"Then why can't you do the split?" Marley asked satisfied"We're just looking out for you, Q. Don't let yourself loose."

.

When she gets to the building that she has to, she finds herself being all alone. Not only because Ryder and Marley decided to leave her on her own for this but also because she's ridiculously early. She doesn't mind. It gives her much time to stop panicking over her trials. She knows it's pointless. If she fails, her life goal goes to waste and that will, best case scenario, make her an emotional wreck.

Worst case scenario,

(she doesn't dare to think it.)

.

When the other girls arrive, they are all dancing gracefully. They are pretty and tall and elegant and Quinn watches them all with awe. She feels her legs shaking violently and her stomach twisting up. She doesn't make her unease obvious and yet it seems everyone catches on quickly. Their eyes pierce her soul.

She opens her phone and finds a text from Charlie wishing her good luck on her trials. She smiles.

"They told me I had to lose some more weight in order to be lifted." an incredibly tall girl whispers to another one and Quinn loses her confidence once more. She wants to throw up.

Quickly, she heads to the bathroom. She kneels over the toilet and waits for something to happen. Nothing comes but a burning sensation in her throat. She walks to the sink and opens it, letting the loud sound of water hitting glass fill the room.

 "You don't belong here," she whispers in a shaky voice. "you'll never do."

(One minute later, they call out her name but she has already called a cab to take her home.)

.

"How did it go?"

"How did what go?" Quinn asks her sister.'

"The ballet thingy." Brittany replied not taking her eyes off her phone.

"Great."

"Good luck then." Quinn nods and turns to the stairs. "Also, Brendon called, he told me that you should ring him up."

"Not really in the mood."

"He said it's important."


	35. The truth is that I'm sorry though I told you not to worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My mother was a genius. My father commanded respect. When they died they left no instructions, just a legacy to protect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update

"Remember children, there are no stupid questions."

"If Ariel ate sushi at any point, would that be considered cannibalism?"

"Why do I even try?"Brendon whispered quietly to himself"Dan, what the actual ever loving fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm not drunk!" Dan shouted as he covered Skye's face with a blanket lying on the floor. Nobody could exactly remember when this blanket was brought there or what was its purpose, so if the circumstances were different, Skye would have freaked. Luckily for them all, she was peacefully sleeping on Quinn's lap. "Actually, I am. Just one beer, nothing more, nothing different."

"The expression is--"

"Okay, I had three. But no drugs. No drugs. Drugs are bad, Brendan."

"Did you honestly call me Brendan? Did he call me Brendan?"

"Relax, dude. People get my name wrong all the time."Quinn said while yawning"Plus, I'm sure that if you asked him now he would probably refer to Skye as sky without an e."

Brendon sighed and sat down on the wooden floor. He rubbed his eyes and tried to shake off his sleepiness. Seconds later, Dan punched the floor two times. "Real talk now, Sky's the bomb. Beautiful, smart, blonde hair and a bloody prince!"

Quinn and Brendon exchanged puzzled looks. Newt grabbed the blanket from Skye and placed it beneath his head as a pillow. "There is a side of me that thinks he's talking about the Winx Club."

"There is no way--"

"And he was a twink. That Specialists uniform might have other fools but not me!"

"And he's talking about the Winx Club." Quinn concluded, clearly disappointed. She intertwined her fingers and pressed them hard against her forehead. She really didn't deserve this torture that late in the evening. Especially with school tomorrow. Newt glanced at her briefly and smiled comfortingly. Quinn remained silent and gently placed her left hand on Skye's back. "Should we wake her up?"

"There really isn't a point. Dan's obviously high, Newt is half-asleep, you're tired and being in a treehouse at three in the morning is too scary for me to handle."

"How many people have been murdered in a treehouse, Bren?"

"No one Newt. But I don't want to be the first one."

"If you don't all shut up,"Skye mumbled as she buried her head in Quinn's dress"I will personally make sure you're the first people to die in a treehouse."

"You Howells are insufferable." mumbled Brendon"Wait, why is Dan so quiet?"

"He's found a moth."

"I'm not even gonna ask."

"Remind me what's the point of this?"

"The point," began Newt"is that tomorrow, or actually today, is a very bad day."

"That's because you're not letting me sleep."

Newt ignored Skye and continued. "You may have noticed that Charlie isn't with us in this special meeting."

"Oh yeah! Charlie boy. Charmander. Charz." Dan laughed receiving many puzzled looks from the entire group.

"As I was saying before this, whatever it was, it's Charlie's parents' death anniversary." Brendon nodded silently. Quinn looked down, she should have realized that their meeting was about this. She had been so caught up with her own life that she had completely forgotten about poor Charlie who must have felt trapped and alone for years. Newt's statement even made Skye get up and Dan try looking more concentrated. "This morning he might be a wreck. Or not. I don't know how he deals with it. But we must be careful with how we're treating him, don't upset him and just try to do whatever will make him happy."

"You got it, boss." Brendon told Newt"Quick question though, how did you manage to leave the house without Charlie noticing?"

"Let's just say that Quill is going to be looking for the couch's pillows."

.

Charlie Smith is a happy guy for the most part. He smiles and gets through every day with a relative success. Things could be worse, naturally, but Charlie tends to remain optimistic no matter what comes. He smiles through the bickering he and his aunt do, he smiles when Newt cries and wonders if things will be better one day for them, he smiles when Matteusz looks at him during Physics. He even smiles when Finn Hudson will push him-accidentally, as he claims-while muttering some insult.

However, out of the three hundred and sixty-five days of the year, there is one day when he doesn't smile.

When that day comes, Charlie gets up from his bed quietly and remains silent for the entire morning. It helps that Quill is never talking to him that day. If it's the weekend or she doesn't have a class, she remains inside her bedroom and doesn't acknowledge anything. Whereas if she's working, she gets up earlier than usual and leaves long before Charlie is awake.

When that one day comes, Charlie doesn't have an aunt and Quill doesn't have a nephew. They don't live together. They are teacher and student. They are strangers. At least, that was how things used to work out between the two of them while they lived alone.

"I made breakfast." Newt announced proudly"And some black coffee for Quill, she is a bit more murderous when she hasn't had her morning coffee."

Charlie looks at his cousin from head to toe, uncertain of what to say next. He decides to remain silent and just grab the piece of toast in front of him. Newt anticipates a comment or even a facial expression. Nothing comes. Still, he decides not to push it and sits near Charlie. Soon enough, they hear heels tapping the floor. 

Quill enters different than usual. She's already dressed for work, briefcase on hand, and seems to already have had her morning coffee. Nevertheless, she looks at Charlie and then at Newt and grabs a small cup of black coffee. She drinks it in seconds and leaves the house. Charlie doesn't know how to react, he assumes her behavior was expected but still can't help feeling bad for Newt. Speaking of Newt, he sees Charlie stuffing another toast in his mouth and smiles.

Charlie doesn't smile back.

Newt's smile drops from his face but today, Charlie can't do anything about it.

.

"I'm just not a fan of musicals."

"Sure, and Tanya hates Seraphin."

"It's the hair, I'm telling you." Tanya cuts in. Ram chuckles and the younger girl returns to her texting. None of them know who exactly Tanya had been messaging lately but Matteusz had a feeling it was a girl. A special girl.

"All I'm saying is that I shouldn't bother with auditioning for Mr. Schue's musical. We all know that he's going to pick his star student, Rachel, and probably his protege Finn. Then miss Sylvester will force him to add the cheerleading squad and the only  part available will be the one of the grass."

"That was one time." Ram joked but April continued determinedly.

"It's not even that I mind Rachel always getting the biggest roles. I mind the fact that Finn Hudson is somehow always the other lead even if he has an artistic talent about as big as my finger."

"You have to admit though that it was funny when he hit Rachel's nose with his elbow." Tanya laughed"Matteusz, you should have been there! It was the best thing to have happened in this damn school."

"This school and injuries go together from what I've seen." Matteusz mumbled,"It's a bit worrying."

"You tell me? I almost lost my leg at last year's prom."

"That's an exaggeration, Ram."

"It was not and you know it." Ram replied dramatically. April laughed and smiled at him. Tanya lifted her gaze and looked at her friends smirking. Matteusz was planning on asking her the reason behind such a stare, but Charlie entering the school caught his attention. Charlie always caught Matteusz's attention for various reasons and the fact that he always dressed in pastel colors really helped.

However, today was different.

Today something was off but Matteusz couldn't put a finger on it.

.

The first person from his friends that  Charlie sees in his class is Quinn. She's wearing a baggy shirt with way too long sleeves that almost cover her fingers. She approaches Charlie slowly until they are only inches apart and wraps her hands around him. Charlie awaited this. He expected Newt to be the first one to act like that but he figured that Quinn was always more emotional about it. After all, she was the first to witness Charlie's downfall.

Eventually, Charlie hugs back. Quinn was always shorter than him but at that particular moment, she seems smaller than usual. He feels the bones of her back and if things were any different, he would have thought about that detail more. But things weren't different and the only thing that Charlie could think at the moment was his parents' face.

He wants to cry but can't because a)he's in public and b)he doesn't want his classmates to look more down on him than usual. This is why he simply takes one deep breath and holds Quinn as tight as he can. He sees Matteusz looking at him as he walks to his own class and catches Rachel Berry staring from the row behind them.

He can't deal with either of them right now.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks and she knows it's the dumbest, yet most appropriate, question in the world.

"Yeah. Don't worry about it." he lies. He's truly sorry because he wanted to cry, still wants to actually, and he wrongly reassures her not to worry. Then again what could anyone expect from him? He was just a kid, a young and silly child, who shouldn't have to have his shit together just yet.

.

Skye stares that notebook for a little bit too long for it to be normal.

It isn't really as if she's looking at something specific. She just lets herself space out and contemplates about life. Actually, not life per se but the two main problems she's dealing with. For starters, she's almost certain that Dan has relapsed again. She isn't surprised but hurt. More hurt because Dan hasn't spoken to her about it and prefers to hide bottles under the bed as if she's messy enough not to notice.

Secondly, there is the fact that Charlie is going to be suffering this very day and Skye isn't sure how she must react. She isn't even sure how Charlie is going to react. She had managed to spend years ignoring that day and not paying attention to Charlie and suddenly all the guilt from these years is back and stronger than ever. She shouldn't have shut him out. But she did and now she wasn't ready to deal with the aftermath.

"Skye, right?"

"Huh?" Skye looked up and saw Matteusz towering over her. The boy was sometimes too tall for her liking. "Matteusz, hi."

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Is that a wise choice?"

"It's the only one I have available." Matteusz explained,"Is Charlie okay?"

Crap.

"Define okay."

"You know, emotionally."

"Okay as in everywhere I go death follows but I must remain a somewhat functional human being or okay as in I'm depressed and want death?"

"How is either of these okay?"

"I don't know, that's why I asked you to be more specific."

"He's just been very quiet today and avoids me with every chance he gets. I'm worried about him."

"It's a bad day for him." Skye simply says"You should probably kindly confront him. Although, judging from your vibe, you couldn't approach him any other way. Ask him what's wrong and I'm sure he'll tell you what's going on."

This is where the world had come to. Skye who always minded other people's businesses was being cryptic when Matteusz needed her. Karma was definitely going to hold a grudge against her after that one. 

"Okay, I will. Thank you Skye." and with that, he left her alone.

Before Skye managed to relax again, another person was standing next to her. "I'm going to save you time and advise you to leave while you have time and avoid going into this dark hole that is my mind right now."

"That's a very dark way of thinking," Grant told her grinning.

"Yeah, I'm punk and edgy like that."

"Your notebook is pink."

"Pink is punk."

"And you're sitting on the floor, blocking some poor kid's locker."

"The floor is also punk."

"Sure it is." Grant chuckled and sat next to her. They both remained sitting next to each other without saying a word for about a minute. "You're quiet."

"Must be a relief for you. People tell me I'm a bit too chatty."

"Nah." he told her"Don't get me wrong, you honestly never shut up."

"Thanks."

"But that's what makes you who you are. It's part of your--"

"Charm?"

"Quirkiness and annoyingness are what I was about to say but sure, suit yourself."

"Dick." she smirked in a cheerful way. 

"Am I though? Because here you were having a what seemed to be an existential crisis and I made you laugh."

"Don't get too worked up on details, robot."

"New nickname?"

"Golden boy didn't fit anymore since you have been seen with me in public."

"Fair enough." he simply said and turned to look at her. "So what's the deal with you today?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Are you sure?"

"No." she whispered and shoved the notebook inside her bag. "So please drop it before my mind blows up and I actually change my mind."

"If that is what you need right now."

"Yep."

"I did bring something with me, though."

"Please be a candy bar."

"It isn't."

"Buzz killer." Grant ignored her and took out a plastic bone from his backpack. "Should I go fetch?"

"No. I was cleaning up the basement yesterday and found my dog's old toy. It's in pretty good shape and I know that you have a dog, who I doubt has any toys--"

"He has me, what else could he want?"

"so I thought you may want this." he hesitantly placed the toy on her lap and let Skye examine the toy.

"Oh, it's a squeaky one! I love those, I'm sure Buddy will as well." she smiled"Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah no problem."

.

"I know something is wrong."

"It's nothing."

"It's something." Matteusz shots back and he's sure that Charlie and he sound like a couple of children fighting at that moment. "Charlie, please, don't shut me out." his own words hurt "Don't lie to me."

It's such a hypocrite move for him to say that. He lies. Matteusz does it a lot. He can't ask for the honesty he hasn't given. If Charlie knew how many lies and excuses he had told his friends about their relationship, he was certain that the blonde would never speak to him again. Yet, whatever he was doing and saying was for their own good. For Charlie's good. For April's good. For his parents' good. He was only trying to fix things.

Same went for this situation. He just wanted Charlie to be happy.

"Please, don't worry about it. It's what's best for the both of us."

"I can't just ignore your sadness. Something is bothering you and I want to know what it is because I,"-he stops mid-sentence-"care about you. A lot."

It isn't a lie.

If something, this might be the one single truth Matteusz has said this week. The only thing it can be is an understatement. He doesn't just care about Charlie. He loves him. But love is something eternal and they are just kids so he can't bring himself to outer this words just yet. Besides, these words would accompany the vow of a little picture perfect domestic life that Matteusz wasn't sure if he could offer.

Charlie opens his mouth to speak but the bell rings.

"Drop by my place today after school."

Matteusz nods.

.

When Charlie returns home, he finds himself pacing around the kitchen. He's stressed and panicking and doesn't even know why he asked Matteusz to come. What was he glorious plan anyway? His head keeps buzzing and the fact that Newt constantly smothers him and asks him if he wants anything isn't helping. He feels like he's going to explode.

Suddenly, the door opens and Quill walks in. She puts her briefcase on the counter and ignores both an anxious Charlie and Newt. She grabs another cup of morning coffee along with a big bar of chocolate and walks to her room. Charlie isn't sure what happens at that very moment but it somehow makes him furious. He stops pacing and follows Quill to her room. Newt panics and runs after him, uncertain of what to expect.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" the question catches both Quill and Newt off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"I get it. I get what we were doing all these years but this is just weird and wrong. It's so stupidly wrong."

"What has gotten into you?"

"My parents are dead!" Charlie shout at the top of his lungs "Your sister is dead! Why don't we acknowledge that? Why don't we talk about it? Why do we refuse to speak to each other for heaven's sake?"

"Charles, I--"

"No, shut up. For a moment, just shut up and listen to me, yeah?" Charlie cuts her off"I know you didn't like my mum. I know you don't like me and I sure as hell know that you hate this situation we're in. But guess what? So do I. There is nothing we can do though. We're stuck like this. You with me and me with you until I'm eighteen. It's just how things are."

"Charlie, maybe--" Newt tries to say but Charlie ignores him.

"What I don't understand is that even though we both lost family, we absolutely hate each other. I don't even know why. I should hate you, you know, I have every right. We were going to pick up you from the airport when it happened. If you hadn't come, they would still be here."-Quill seemed to be taken aback by that comment-"But the weird thing is that you hated me first when you had absolutely no right. I was a kid. I am a kid! But you don't care about that, do you? Why don't you care? Why don't you even pretend to care?"-he punches the table in front of him startling Newt-"You should hate yourself. This is your fault!"

Quill said nothing. Charlie huffed in reply and stormed off the house. Newt stood there, examining Quill who also looked at the void emotionless.

"I," Quill ignored whatever Newt was about to say and walked inside her room closing the door behind her.

.

When Matteusz found Charlie waiting for him outside his house, he knew something had gone very wrong. When the two of them went to a cemetery, he was certain that wrong couldn't even begin to describe how the situation was. 

They walked for some minutes until they stopped in front of two graves. Charlie sighed and kneeled down. Matteusz mimicked him. "Matteusz, meet my parents."

Matteusz looked at Charlie with sad eyes and then turned to the graves. He looked at the date and realized that it was the same as today. That explained a lot. He reached out for Charlie's hand and held it tight. 

"I just miss them a lot, you know?" Charlie asked"Things would have been a lot different if they were still around. I would have been a lot different."-he rubbed his eyes-"The worst thing is those days like these, everyone whispers and treats me differently. They rarely bully me days like these even." he chuckled sadly.

"Charlie, I--"

"Times like these I realize that I'm truly the most broken version of myself." he said in a mix of laughing and sobbing"I don't even know why you stick around. You're so good and kind and sweet and the most beautiful person I have ever seen, you could do so much better than me."

Matteusz can feel Charlie's heart break with every word and at the same time, he can feel his own heart aching.

"I'm just a lost boy who can't even deal with his own issues and feels the need to throw regular tantrums to feel better. I'm,"-he stopped and took away his hand from Matteusz's reach-"I'm no good."

Matteusz took a long breath and placed his hand on Charlie's shoulder. "That's not true, okay? I'm not even half as good as you think of me. And you? You, Charlie, are an extraordinary person. You have been hurt so much and you still carry on because you're Charlie Smith and you can do anything. I know you can." Matteusz smiles"And if you're a lost boy like you say, I promise I will find you."

At that moment, Charlie lets a breath he didn't know he was holding escape his lips and moves closer to Matteusz. The two boys hug each other tight and bury their heads on each other's shoulders.

 

 

 

 


	36. Only fools do what I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, opposites attract. Then opposites attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun drinking game: take a shot (of water) every time I say fool.

All things considered, one can only reach a single logical conclusion; Daniel Howell is a dick.

Exhibit A could be the fact that this is the second day he's been avoiding Charlie because he doesn't want to see him sad. Charlie being sad would mean that Dan would have to comfort him like a good friend like Quinn or Newt would do, but Dan does not do comfort. He isn't good with words and he's absolutely certain that even if Charlie wasn't that sad that day, Dan would somehow manage to make him miserable. He always managed to make everyone miserable-even the happiest of people.

It's a gift at times because it gives Dan another excuse to not be social. But times like this, when his childhood friends are involved, he feels trapped and useless because he can't really help or even make an attempt to do so. Sometimes he even wonders if any form of a godly power is watching him from above thing 'Oh, that fool again. What  a tool.', however, even if that's the case he can't be mad. He would have the very same reaction.

"All I'm saying is that the proper time to do it for both Quinn and Charlie would probably be the weekend." Brendon stated, still scrolling through the calendar app on his phone"But then again, she will know if we do it then because it will be obvious that we would do it then."

"Bren, you're stressing."

"You think?" Brendon whispered yelled at Newt who shrugged. Dan watched Brendon continuing rambling about the dates and felt his heart getting tighter. This was probably the type of friend he should try to be. Surely, Brendon Urie wasn't the best shoulder to cry on nor the best listener-mainly because due to his ADHD Brendon was more hyperactive than a five-year old-but he was good when it came to taking action. 

"Are you okay?"

Apparently, though, Dan wasn't good at actions either. He had completely zoned out and was hardly taking part in the conversation. He really should just grab a suitcase full of clothes and beer, go live in the mountains and become a hermit. Still, he doesn't get to finish that thought because he can feel Newt's eyes examining him and then slowly turning to Skye who sat silently next to him. Silence. That was a very unlike-Skye thing.

"Hm?"

"You two are quiet. Suspiciously quiet." Brendon told them thoughtfully. He stared at them for a second or two before placing his phone on Newt's lap and climbed the table to come closer to the two siblings. "Who did you murder?"

"No one."

"Okay, then who was bitten by a radioactive insect?"

"If I knew we were going to have this conversation right now, I would have gotten drunk before coming to school." it's a light joke and it escapes Dan's lips before he can take time and think it through. Brendon sips his tongue out which sends a wave of relief in Dan's body because either Brendon doesn't know or he thought it was a harmless joke. However, at that point, Skye perks up her ears and looks at them. If looks could kill, he thinks, he would be dead. Thrice.

"We do it on Sunday night. Quinn's birthday is on Friday which makes Friday the ideal date but Charlie's parents' death anniversary was literally yesterday so drinking and partying should probably wait for about a week. Therefore, we do it on Sunday so it won't affect Charlie's state and it will take Quinn by surprise because who has a party on a Sunday when it's the middle of the school year."

"Cool." Newt nods at Skye"You do realize though that it's December. School just started."

"Feels like an eternity already."

.

Dan lives a pretty mundane and boring life.

Same routine, same school, and the same people. The only difference is that today one of the halls is covered in blue paint instead of the usual yellow and it somehow makes Dan feel uneasy. Or perhaps that's not the right word. He likes the change. He prays for a change. Constantly. But now the change is here, and it's new and calming and clean and so unfitting. The change is pretty because it's new. The change is well-made, a product of much hard work he realizes as he still sees a group of students and miss Pillsbury standing in front of it with brushes on hands, and it does not go well with the rest of the school. Soon, the brand new wall will be covered with food stains, drawings of genitalia and holes. Change is good but not in this school. Because despite evolution being a scientifically proven fact, humans still resist and remain the same as they were. 

"Dan!"

Except maybe one.

"You like the wall?" Phil asks him breathless. He looks like he had just run a marathon but from the few things, Dan had learned about the black-haired boy he wasn't fond of exercising so that wasn't the case. He smiled slightly at the thought of Phil being useless with exercising much like himself. "It took us quite some time but it was very fun to do and if you ask me, it turned out great."

Dan opens his mouth and is ready to say exactly what he's thinking of the wall. Only he can't. He can't because Phil seems so happy and proud of their work and Dan can't just turn that into worry for the insignificance of human life and progress. On the other hand, he can't lie. Not that this was hard for him-he seemed to be doing a great job with lying to his sister-but it just seems too out of character. Too good. He wasn't ready for that.

"It's different."

"I'll take it as a compliment, then!"

The bell rings and Phil is clearly disappointed. Dan is too to some extent but he refuses to acknowledge it. "Sorry, Lester, I have to get to class."

.

Phil likes to think that he's a good person.

He really isn't, though.

He can be selfish at times and he's constantly obsessing over the love of others. He's sweet and kind and he doesn't understand why people can't be like him. Correction. He doesn't understand why Dan can't be exactly like the person he wants him to be. It's a type of masochism, really. Phil's criteria for the people he likes are particularly low but Dan manages to be the exact opposite of them. And yet, Phil hopes a little too much and has put a very big amount of faith on Dan without any serious reason.

Phil has high hopes. He flies incredibly close to the sun when others avoid even going out when it's out, it isn't necessarily bad but it certainly isn't good.

"I really don't understand what you see in him," Chris tells Phil with a raised eyebrow as he puts his painting brush on the box. "you two are polar opposites."

"And he's a bit weird." PJ adds from behind.

"Although, we shouldn't judge him about that."

"What? We're cool." PJ argues and both Phil and Chris laugh.

Maybe the two of them are right. Maybe Phil is expecting too much. Actually, what was even Phil's expectation? He liked Dan, yes. Probably even fancied. But it wasn't as if anything could happen. They had only some months ahead of them and it would probably take two years for Dan to open up about anything, let alone go after a relationship. 

Just like that, any fantasies of quiet knights in the suburban vanished.

(Phil didn't even know he had those.)

.

In chemistry, Dan is paired up with Brendon for an experiment and he feels grateful.

Maybe he's the only one because in total he can see four people who aren't happy with the teacher's choice. For starters, Brendon smiles at him because Brendon is usually happy and smiley. Especially with his friends. But Dan catches him staring at someone few rows behind them. He doesn't bother looking. It's none of his business. Although, he does suspect that Brendon is suffering a case of being lovestruck. If that's truly the case then he's as much as a fool as Dan is.

The second person who doesn't approve the pairings is Dallon Weekes. A shy for the most part student who you wouldn't notice if he wasn't incredibly tall. He's even taller than Matteusz and that's a particularly scary thought. He pities his future girlfriend who will always have to wear the tallest of heels. Actually, he pities more any future boyfriend-if that was the way he swinged-who would also be forced to wear heels. Everyday. Still, he isn't sure if Dallon is disappointed with Dan and Brendon being paired up together or with another pair. 

Speaking of pairs, Dallon's partner was probably the least pleased with the pairings. He would often glare at Dallon. A glare similar to the one Kara would send at Skye or Finn at Charlie or Newt. An asshole move, really. But Dan didn't expect something more mature than Ryan Ross. He was an asshole. Dan knew that much. All these years being an asshole himself helped him with a radar of assholism and every time he would see Ryan all the lights would flash red on his radar. 

Finally, there was Phil. Phil who didn't fully express his disappointment but he looked Dan with such a sweet and sad smile that made him feel weird inside. He smiled back. Not a real smile, but his lip twisted a little which seemed enough for Phil. And well, if that was truly enough for someone who devoted their entire existence to another person, then perhaps Phil was the bigger fool between them.

"We pour the thing from the green tube. Wait no, it's not green. Where is the green?" the good thing about Brendon was that he always spoke. He always had something to say. Dan, on the other hand, preferred to remain silent. They were the perfect duo. A non-stop talker desperate to be listened and a boy who wanted to silence the word. Maybe this was why Dan considered Brendon his friend from the beginning and not Phil. 

"Brendon."

"Yes."

"It says grey not green."

"Fuck." and Dan laughs because this is how things are with his friends. He isn't incredibly awkward and bitter with his friends. He feels free. He likes them. Yet when he laughs he turns his head slightly to the right to catch a glimpse of Phil and Santana Lopez working on their own projects. 

At the end of the day, maybe him falling-it's the first time he thinks about it without doing much thinking, as if it's the most natural thing in the world-for Phil Lester is the beginning of the end. Because the one is a walking ray of sunshine and the other is the smell of bathroom stalls and for the second to fall in love with the second it takes much foolishness.

.

When Phil goes to the bathroom to pee, he feels very relaxed.

That's until someone opens the door in a hurry, almost shoves Phil to the ground, and jumps inside a stall. Phil doesn't pay much attention to it, despite his heart beating loudly, but he hears a toilet seat closing and some weird noise as if someone has pressing something heavy on the toilet seat. Due to the weird things he had seen at this school's party, Phil believes it's best if he doesn't think much of it.

That's until Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman storm inside-Phil barely manages to zip his pants-and at that point he decides that he's never using the school's bathroom no matter how much he needs it. The two boys begin opening the stalls and mumbling to each other. "Are you sure he got in here?"

"I think? Probably? No? Yes?" Phil watches as Noah tries to come up with a proper answer and fails. There is only one stall left and Phil is sure that he's about to do the most stupid thing in his life.

"Don't go in there!"

"What?" Finn asks"Why?"

"Someone used that stall before." Phil tried to explain"He had quite the lunch and well, the sight isn't pretty."

The two boys look at each other for some time, nod, and leave. Phil lets a breath he didn't know he was holding. He hears shoes tapping the floor and the stall unlocking. There in all his pastel glory is Newt Whittman, breathless might we add, with his hands pressed on his forehead.

"Thank you."

"No problem," Phil tells him smiling"why were they chasing you exactly?"

"It's a long story involving my beautiful sweatshirt and the fact that Finn Hudson is an animal." Newt states proudly"Although, now that I'm thinking it over, this is a pretty normal day for me."-Phil laughs-"I'm Newt, by the way."

"Yeah, I know you. I'm Phil."

"Oh, this is awkward then, because I know you too." Newt told him probably remembering that one time they had al drove together at a party"You're Dan's friend."

"I'm pretty sure you are Dan's friend."

"Nah, I know what I'm telling you." Newt smirks making Phil look at him with both confusion and excitement"He is always talking about that insanely kind guy who probably coughs rainbows and chocolate."

"That could be anyone."

"You were in detention together."

"Okay, that was me." Phil admitted. It was Newt's turn to laugh. It was the first time Phil had a proper conversation with one of Dan's friends and he had to admit it was something entirely different and new. Newt was much like Phil, a polar opposite of Dan. You could only talk to them for a second and you would immediately realize how different they were. Much like Dan and Phil.

He wondered what the fact that Phil still held on to the curious case of Daniel Howell say about him? What did the fact that he didn't give a fuck about the universe's clear signs mean for who he was as a person?

"I really admire how you're trying to be close to him, it's very nice of you. Just like the fact that you covered me up earlier." Newt smiled and finally walked towards the bathroom door. "I don't know if you're constantly up for the challenge or a big fool."

It doesn't take a genius to guess which of the two Phil truly is.

 

 


	37. You'll have to watch me struggle from several rooms away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleep is for the weak and the sane.

"You guys are gay, right?"

"Since like," Newt coughed to clear this throat"birth."

"I have a boyfriend." Charlie added"Tall, smart, beautiful. Has a cute laugh and a very strong polish accent. An angel."

"Then there's the fact that we're practically bullied because we are gay and last but not least, we're friends!"

"Great!" Dan told them excitedly. He grabbed both of their lunches and put them on the edge of the table. He quickly inspected the room, his eyes searching for the other three members of their group. He was lucky that Skye was probably dragging Quinn and Brendon to a vending machine. "We need to talk and we don't have much time."

"It's a long break, isn't it?" Charlie questioned glancing down at his watch.

"How did you know the first time? Like for sure?"

The two cousins exchanged a confused look. They stared at each other for so long, Dan was sure they were communicating inside their heads like freaky twins. Charlie finally broke eye contact and turned to Dan. "What is going on exactly?"

"It's complicated."

"Do you like a guy?"

"When you say it like that, it doesn't sound that complicated."

"This is fantastic! We're really happy for you, Danny boy." Newt grinned widely and shook Dan's shoulder lightly"Who is it? Do we know him? Is it Phil? I hope it's Phil because Phil is cute."

"You think he's cute?" Dan blurted out quickly.

"Calm your bangs, you bloody meme. He's objectively cute but I'm not interested in him."-he leaned back in his chair-"You, on the other hand, seem very invested."

And to think that Dan believed Skye would take it the worst.

.

Skye Howell has bad and good days.

Yet for some reason, this month is only filled with bad days full of stress and agony. She isn't sure what's causing it but she knows it's irritating and ruins her life. Her sleeping troubles are worse than ever to the point she drinks three coffees during school to keep her from falling asleep. It's torture. She just wants to lay down and sleep peacefully. She craves a normal sleeping schedule, normal nights of sleep, normal anything.

Her insomnia does not share her thoughts. Instead, it lets her have scary nights filled with demons and voices and crying. She cries almost every night. Dan is drinking again, he thinks he can fool her because if he was sober he would hear her sobs late in the evening. Adrian doesn't pay attention either. He works so much that by the time he gets home, he crashes on the couch exhausted and sleeps. This makes her feel lonely.

Always so lonely.

But never alone.

She sees things that aren't there and that's just another red light that she needs sleep. But how can she sleep when it won't let her? Sometimes she finds herself wanting to scream. She can't, though, she can't cry for something she knows isn't there. She can't talk to someone about it either because the only person who will listen to her is Dan and he's already facing his own battles. Besides, for the time being, Skye wants to avoid him.

She would much rather suffer in silence.

"Miss Howell."

"Yes, miss Quill?"

"The bell has rung." the teacher tells her colder than usual"Do you need a special invitation to leave?"

.

"I killed a man!"

"Cool, I'll pack our stuff and we can move to Montana."

"That won't be necessary, miss Fabray." Bruce Banner, their biology teacher, stated and took the knife from Brendon's hands."I'll remind you both, this isn't theater. This is biology which is a bit less dramatic."

"We're sorry." Quinn apologized while Brendon nodded. The teacher smiled at them and returned to the board. Brendon bent down so he could be the same height as their table and grabbed the stuffed animal laying on top. "What do we do now for the dead body?"

"We sell its organs in the black market!"

.

Skye waits outside the classroom for God knows how long. She isn't even sure if it's worth waiting for Brendon and Quinn anymore. The bell could ring in any moment. Still, she doesn't want to enter the cafeteria alone in fear that she'll eventually stop pretending with Dan. Or everyone for that matter. She feels her problems suffocating her, weighing her like an anchor, dragging her to the bottom of the ocean. It's overwhelming and her brain has a problem processing it.

"Another existential crisis, huh?"

"Listen golden boy, I haven't had enough coffee for this."

"This as,"

"Socializing." Skye tells Grant and shoves her hands in her jean's pockets"So you can either leave or face the fire."

"You're more of a spark," Grant argued as he watched her from head to toe. It was true that Skye wasn't the tallest among the students but she certainly wasn't that short for her height to be a joke. She scoffed at the comment.

"That's what you think." she grinned"I'm an eternal flame."

He laughs. She can count the times she has seen him do that on only one hand. She likes it, not because it makes him appear more down to earth, but because she's the one causing it. She's the one who manages to make someone-not just someone, a so-called cool kid in her school-laugh. A pure laugh that isn't on her. 

It makes her feel normal. Appreciated. 

"Watch out, we have a fire system."

"Very creative."

"Sarcastic comebacks aren't really my best quality."

"So I've noticed."

There are several good things about Grant Ward, Skye knows that much. She assumes it's normal since Coal Hill's most popular aren't usually average kids. They always have something. They are always a bit better than the rest. However, what Skye considered Grant's best quality was his ability to be at the right place at the right time. Every time she would be upset and struggling he would just be there, not necessarily to fix things but to keep her mind busy.

Why? Well, because his second best quality was ticking Skye off. It wasn't a surprise. Look at all novels and movies. The two of them were polar opposites and the irritation they felt was, to say the least expected. Although at that point he didn't really annoy her. He had ended her inner suffering for about five minutes and that was a true blessing. Yet, when he talked, Skye couldn't not talk back at him. She liked the comments, the small debates, she liked being against him in a weird but calming way.

"Freedom!" someone shouted at the top of their lungs as the door swung open and a group of students left the biology classroom. Skye saw Brendon leaving seconds before Quinn, once he saw Skye he stood next to her silently and waited for Quinn to arrive. If he was surprised about Grant casually leaning on a locker next to her, he didn't show it. Quinn was the last to leave the class and once she got out, the trio noticed Noah Puckerman's hand wrapped around her.

"It was very impressive."

"It was notes." Quinn told him"I was just taking notes."

"Yeah, but, er," he paused for a second"you have a nice handwriting."

Brendon and Skye exchanged a look, right on cue, Grant cleared his throat. "Puck. The team is waiting for us."

"I'm in the middle of something here."

"Are you, though?" he questioned and grabbed his jacket. Noah sighed and waved Quinn goodbye before he left with Grant. Quinn knuckled her shoulders as soon as he was out of sight.

"That guy is  very flirty around you lately." Brendon noticed.

"I don't like it." Quinn tells him"I don't like him touching me." she seems to be panicking but it happens so quickly that Skye can't be sure if it's real or not. "Can we go to lunch now?"

.

When the night comes, Skye fantasizes about death.

It's late and she has no sleep. She's exhausted but she can hear the footsteps coming down the hall and she knows immediately it's Dan. It's Dan who tries to be quieter than the night and struggles to open whatever box he's been saving his _stuff_ in. Skye thinks that maybe this is their destiny. Two sides of the same coin suffering silently in the night. They are both together but they are alone. 

They weren't always like that.

When did that change? When did the world stop being beautiful?

She feels so alone and ugly and mad. She feels like breaking. A feeling she doesn't experience daily but only when the room is too dark and her body is too sleep deprived. She decides to also move quietly and grabs her phone. She needs to talk to someone.

Quinn? No. She's very punctual and probably having her third dream as this thought dawns upon her. Brendon? No. Although he would probably cheer her up, he would proceed to ask about Dan and Skye dreaded having this conversation. Charlie? No, he was still dealing with his own problems. Newt? He could be awake but if he was, he would be talking with Thomas. Skye didn't want to annoy him.

She sighed and began typing a message.

_Are you awake?_

.

He shouldn't be awake.

And yet he is. Always.

 _Yes_ , he simply texts and waits for the blue tick to appear. After a second of thinking, he adds _is something wrong?_

.

It's a silly thing to send the text, to begin with. Now starting up a conversation about Skye's current state reaches a new level of foolishness. She's better than this. She's smarter than this. Besides, she's sure that the moment she manages to get some proper sleep she'll regret it.

Still, the night is cold and Skye's self-loathing somehow manages to make the atmosphere even colder. She feels stuck in a circle of despair and pain. She is stuck between pills and cups of coffee. Wanting someone to break the wheel she's found herself in is too much to ask but if it doesn't happen, she's not sure how long she will last.

On the other hand, she can't just uncover her emotions in a text. Or to a classmate who is barely her friend. It would be easy-yes-telling him everything because he doesn't know her that well and he doesn't expect that much of her but if she did, she would still have to face him every day knowing that he knows. It's a dead end. It's late. Her head hurts.

_It's a long story._

She shifts closer at the edge of the bed. "Buddy," she whispers the dog's name and the large dog immediately leaves the hall and runs inside her room. He makes a graceful jump-involving him almost falling on the wooden part of the bed-and lays on Skye's bed.

_I really don't want to talk about it. And I know it's a lot but could you maybe talk to me for a while?_

.

He asks her what she would want them to talk about. It takes her a few minutes to reply.

_Anything to make the evening pass faster._

.

In the end, they keep texting until the sun has risen. She's tired but last night was one of the least painful ones she had. Skye figured it was probably easier helping out someone when you're not aware of how much they are suffering. She gets up two hours earlier than she was supposed to and goes to Dan's room. She grabs he blanket that had fallen on his floor and threw it on his legs.  
  



	38. Scared of my own image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubt kills more than dreams failures ever will.

In the world, no one's opinion matters but God's.

Quinn had been taught that for as long as she could remember. She was told that in her life she might be called many things but none of them will matter, as long as they are following His will. However, God's will was actually linked with her family's will and her family wanted her to be a perfect girl-a perfect child who can become any parents' secret wish-which led to their will being what her school and every teacher wanted. Suddenly, no one became everyone and the only opinion that would never hold as much weight as the other ones were hers.

"Suck your stomach in."

"I can't," Brittany told their mother almost breathless. Quinn watched her older sister bent and twirl, trying to turn her body somehow flatter so the dress would sip. Brittany wasn't overweight in the slightest. She was slim and tall. All the years she had spent doing gymnastics had made her entire body more muscular though, so Quinn wasn't surprised with the 6-year-old dress not being able to fit.

"The dress is blessed. You must wear it." their mother continued ignoring Brittany's protests"Get on the bed and let me try zipping it up."

"Can't Quinn wear it instead?"

"It wouldn't fit her."

Quinn held her breath and dug her nails in her skin. It wouldn't fit her. Of course, it wouldn't. She must have gotten weight. It was because she had gotten careless with her meals just like Marley had told her. It was at that moment that she felt her clothes becoming tighter on her. Her dress showed many curves and her bra felt too tight on her back. The dress had no sleeves and Quinn could now clearly see how awfully chubby her arms looked. 

"Quinny dear."

"Yes, mother?"

"Your cross."-Quinn glanced down at her neck to see her silver chain falling on top of the cross-"Let me help you." with that she put her hands gently on Quinn's hair and brought them to the side. She brought the cross of the necklace at the front and brushed her daughter's shoulders.

Judy Fabray radiates pride for her children at such moments. Two blonde goody-two-shoes who ace everything they do and walk beside her with pride. Anyone would be proud. Quinn isn't though. Quinn just keeps glancing at the mirror while they wait for their father and thinks that was she sees isn't an enviable dream but a terrifying nightmare.

It's immature for a soon to be grown up but Quinn Fabray thinks the biggest flaw of her family to be herself.

.

"Do you think that if there's some superior power out there, they might look like us?"

"Probably." Dan replied with a shrug"If I created something and it turned out like humankind, I would too be an emo."

"I'm serious."

"And I'm too sleep deprived for this conversation."

"Well, if God is like you, they are probably a dick."

"One day I'm going to reach my limits and murder you." Dan sighed while throwing a pillow at Skye. The girl dodged the attacked and flipped him off.  Dan glanced at the side of the room all the way where Buddy was peacefully sleeping. At least, that's Dan's first thought. It seemed the dog realized Dan was staring leading to him opening his eyes wide and then slightly closing them. Sometimes Buddy bore a strong resemblance to Dan. Both of them were desperate for attention but didn't want to seem too desperate.

"Hey."

"What now?"

"You don't like Phil, do you?"

Out of all the possible questions, Dan expected this one didn't even make the top hundred. The boy coughed multiple times and tried to cover it with a big laugh. "What?" he asked her in a squeaky voice. Had Newt or Charlie told her about their talk? Those two snitches. He knew he shouldn't trust blonde people, they always acted naive and kind until they stabbed you in the back.

"He keeps texting you and you ignore him." Skye stated as she pointed at the flashing screen of his phone by his nightstand."It's fine if you don't like him, but he probably does. Hell, I think Lester likes everyone. Even grumpy cats like yourself."

Dan visibly relaxed and grabbed his phone. "I didn't hear it ringing."

"Naturally. You were daydreaming."

"Look who's talking."

"There is a difference between us my young Padawan, "Skye smirked, "my dreams are exciting."

"We're literally two months apart."

"Oh shush."

.

"I think you're doubting me."

"Oh no, I am."

"Charlie!"

"I love you, I truly do, but you're obviously trying to make a new High School Musical."

"Wrong!" Newt mumbled angrily while shoving a bunch of papers inside the bin. "If anything, this was Lemonade Mouth from Disney Originals."

"Is that any better, though?"

"Give me death!"

.

As Quinn waits for her family to exit the church, she can feel a sudden chill in her spine. The weather in England was always relatively cold but it never bothered her. Yet today, she could feel her fingers tingling and her face getting redder by the second. She could always wait for them for them inside, Brittany was going to be the last one to have to go through the Confession, which meant they would be there for a while. Somehow, though, she couldn't move inside so she decided to remain outside.

"We should have taken a coat."

"It isn't even chilly."

"You're a guy." Marley retorted. "Us girls have less body fat."

"You aren't helping," Quinn mumbled to herself. Of course, they weren't helping. When were they ever? No matter how much they would bicker, Quinn would still be cold. She would always be uncomfortable. Always a mess that can't take care of herself. She didn't even think about bringing a coat.

"Maybe we should leave. You could make up an excuse, apologize and return home." Ryder told her with a comforting smile. He extended his hand for Quinn to reach and motioned at Marley to start walking. Quinn didn't move. A part of her wanted to stay. She wasn't a kid anymore and that childish behavior-just because she was feeling under the weather-was unacceptable. However, another voice told her that the whole 'running away from your tiniest problems' tactic was who she was. Was it immature of her? Perhaps. But she wasn't going to change. Deep down she knew it and so did Marley and Ryder. That was why they always said exactly what she believed. And that was why, in the end, they always got their way.

She sighed and went to grab his hand. 

"Hey!"-someone touched her and she flinched-"Oh good, it is you. I was starting to worry I had approached a stranger or something."

"Hey, um, Rachel."

"You looked a bit distressed, mumbling to yourself and all, so I thought I should probably check up on you." Quinn smiled at the comment. Rachel had been worried about her. Someone who wasn't Brendon, or occasionally Charlie, had seen her acting up and actually asked her about it. Pure worry. No jokes. No gossiping.

On top of that, Rachel being here had made both Ryder and Marley vanish into thin air. And well, for the first time, Quinn didn't mind them disappearing. "So, ahem, is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine." Quinn lied with ease"I was just a bit bored, my family is inside the church."

"Oh."

"Yes. We are _that_ religious."

"It's fine really, my family is Jewish and they also tend to overdo it from time to time. It makes them happy though which is nice. Plus, they don't force us to come with them."

"Tell your parents they can adopt me any time." Quinn joked. Rachel appeared briefly flustered before coughing. Quinn raised an eyebrow at her reaction. Did her comment make things awkward? Had she done something else to make the other girl uneasy? Why did she always have to ruin everything?

"Is your family going to be gone for long? Maybe we could take a walk or something?"

"Um, yeah, I'd like that."

.

"Help me."

"Er, hi."

"I'm having a very weird day."

"We're in a weird position."

"Please tell me you'll be more supportive than the other Queen of England who threw a bunch of papers at me."

"How exactly did you get in? I thought I had locked."

"I swear I tried to call Quinn and Dan but neither of them picked up and we all know Skye isn't an option."

"Brendon!"

"What?" the boy stopped his monologue and finally noticed his surroundings. He noticed Matteusz and Charlie sitting on the latter's bed, some books scattered around them. Matteusz was awkwardly smiling while Charlie tapped his foot impatiently. "Oh, you were having a study date."

"Yes."

"No," Matteusz replied at the same time. Charlie glared at him slightly."What? We studied for like fifteen eyes and then you--"

"Too many details, Matti, too many details."

"Aw, you have nicknames. That's adorable." Brendon exclaimed as he sat at the edge of the table"Normally, I would give you some privacy but I need help. Now, normally, I repeat, Charlie would be my last option."

"Thanks?"

"But in some sudden turn of events that thirteen years old me would die of a heart attack if he knew, Charlie has had the most romantic subplots out of us all."

"I've been saying the same thing."

"Why are you here again, Brendon?"

"Oh right!"-Brendon handed Charlie his phone-"Here."

"Ho--whe--is this re--what the actu--wait."

"Those are bad." Matteusz added."Some are good, but most of them are bad."

"Who is sending you bad pick-up lines?" Charlie asked, "And why do they hate you?"

"Ryan."

"Seaman?"

"No."

"Bergara?"

"No."

"Reynolds?"

"No."

"There are a lot of Ryans so just tell him before he starts listing them all."

"Ross."

"Geller?"

Brendon looked at Matteusz and then back at Charlie. "You two are soulmates. But no, I was talking 'bout Ryan Ross. He asked me out yesterday."

"And you told him yes?"

"No. I told him that I wasn't interested and he threatened me. With bad pick up lines."

"This sums up our generation." Matteusz mumbled, "You could block him, maybe?"

"Did that after two hours of cheesy lines. He just dropped ten handwritten pickup lines at my locker."

"I'm writing some of these down for Valentine's day," Charlie whispered quietly as he grabbed his own phone to photograph the messages.

"This is serious. I need help."

"What do you want me to do? Beat him up?" asked Charlie and paused for a second."Have Matteusz beat him up?"

"I'm a pacifist."

"Have Skye talk to him."

Brendon jumped slightly, almost falling from the bed, at the sound of a voice coming up from behind him. "When did you come here?"

"You are talking too loud. Also, Quill's back home so I can't write in the kitchen, wouldn't want to bother her with any tantrums." Newt explained and settled down at the bed's other edge. "So now that you've ruined my writing process, what are we talking about?"

"Next time,"-Charlie looked at Matteusz with a defeated expression-"we'll go to your house."

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I purposely post this here too. First chapter will posted this week and like I said, the couples and characters will be many but the main ones will be the ones that are tagged.
> 
> Also fun fact; If you search youtube for Cool Kids wattpad trailer, you'll find a trailer for this book :-)


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